Essay opinions

<p>Here are some of the essays I submitted. (I know there are structure, grammar, clarity errors, etc but I had to do 8000 words in essays on my own in about 4 days)</p>

<p>An application to MIT is much more than a set of test scores, grades and activities. It's often a reflection of an applicant's dreams and aspirations, dreams shaped by the worlds we inhabit. We'd like to know a bit more about your world. Describe the world you come from, for example your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations? 500</p>

<p>If anything, my family and community have only made it harder to choose a dream. With each new encounter comes knowledge; from knowledge come interest; from interest comes aspiration.<br>
I can honestly say that my dream has changed quite frequently. As a child, I found a litter of abandoned kittens at my old apartment, which my parents let me keep for a while. I found the kittens to be so much fun that I desired to be a veterinarian, but as indecisive as a kid at a candy store my dream changed. Starting with my fifth grade class, my newfound interest became Astronomy. Having just watched a comet, learned about black holes, and viewed a Discovery channel episode on the universe, astronomy was my new thing. Shortly thereafter, I played the game GoldenEye on Nintendo 64, which brought me to a new obsession; I had to be a video game designer, and like a creature of habit my aspirations changed once again. Not to say I lost interest in any of these areas, but the world is so grand and my mind was soaking everything in with a ravenous appetite that I couldn’t focus on only one thing. This time, my inspiration came from television show, Rurouni Kenshin. No, I did not want to be a samurai in Japan’s Edo era; I wanted to animate and create amazing worlds filled with interesting characters. I set out to become an animator, and did so successfully. Using Macromedia Flash (I love this program), I remade a short movie based on Monty Python and the Holy Grail—a favorite comedy of mine. I entered my short in a school competition, and won first place, but alas the computer I saved the movie on was reformatted before I could extract my masterpiece. Logically for me, my next passion became Architecture. Ever since I started drawing the images on my ABC blocks as a child, I have enjoyed drawing as a pastime, thus I had to have a dream that included it, and Architecture incorporated my passions math and science with art quite nicely like peanut butter and jelly. Frank Lloyd Wright’s works intrigued me with their sensibility and beauty. In art class, I attempted to create my own Falling Water, and I learned just how difficult it was to follow Organic Architecture, but it was not a total failure because I learned.<br>
Now we come to the present and I am still no nearer to selecting a goal, and it is partially due to my uncle Chema. He could be described as scholarly man, and as a child, he brought to me new ideas and interests. My first telescope came from him, and so did my initial interest in Astronomy. He often lectured me on the stock market, which proved to be useful—I could finally cross one item off of my list of interests. I lacked interest in money; for me, knowledge is worth far more. The worst part is that my parents have been of little help in choosing my goal because they have supported me in everything I do, and continue to do so. As it stands, my new aspiration is to learn everything I can until I find something that I can happily devote myself to.</p>

<p>Tell us about something that you have created. This can be, for example, a design, a device, an object, an idea or concept, a piece of music or art. 500</p>

<pre><code>M. C. Escher has recently become one of my favorite artists. While in art class in my junior year, I wanted to study optical illusion art. Mr. Arnie, my eccentric and helpful art teacher, recommended that I study M. C. Escher. I had never heard of his name before, but the moment I saw some of his work I remembered seeing it. I continued to look through some of his artwork such as his Circle Limit works, Drawing Hands, Ascending and Descending, Hand with Reflecting Sphere, and Eye, which is one of his only mezzotint works—Mezzotint is an extremely difficult and laborious method of creating rich black and gray shades.
After a few days of studying his pieces, I decided that I would create an original drawing a la Escher. After several days of trying to create a tessellation that looked good and worked, I decided to switch to something else. I remember staying up for a few hours each day trying to think of a piece, and finally I settled on an idea. I decided to draw a picture of a hand drawing my frustrated image whose pencil is tapping on the paper from lack of ideas at my desk, which would be similar to Drawing Hands.
The drawing’s details were as such. A hand with a pencil was to be in the bottom right of the work, with a piece of paper that it was drawing on. In the piece of paper in my work was a self portrait of me with my brows furrowed, eyes closed, with my left hand massaging the left side of my face expressing weariness and frustration, which was further shown by my right hand in the mid-bottom left of the work that had point marks from the tapping of my self portrait’s pencil. The light source was a single desk light situated on the top left of the work outside of the paper inside the work, but the shading for paper inside my work as well as the drawing hand came from the desk light, which combined the images into one and created a minor optical illusion.
Days passed, but I finally completed the work. I brought it to Mr. Arnie to critique and improve, edited it, and submitted my piece. I was proud of it because it was anatomically correct, was shaded well, and was my original work. Well the idea was mine, but Escher did influenced me.
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<p>"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when one contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries to comprehend only a little of this mystery every day." - Albert Einstein
Write about a personal experience or an aspect of the world that has engaged your curiosity or inspired awe in you. 250</p>

<pre><code>Every time I read an article, glance at a photograph, or learn about it I am awed. Some people may disagree, but I find space to be beautiful; when I glance at the universe through a telescope or a picture I cannot help but feel like I am in an art museum. Galaxies, stars, and all other objects appear similar to a painting, and yet these immense bodies are frigid, dense, incredibly fast moving, toxic, radioactive, and somewhat hazardous to life in general. I find it fascinating that something so dangerous can be so appealing to the eye much like the beautiful and poisonous White Oleander.
I remember the first time I gazed into the magical lens of my uncle’s telescope as a child. It was blurry, but after some adjustments and cleaning I could see the moon, and some stars much better than ever before. Though it seemed only like minutes, I spent a few hours just staring at the sky and playing with the wonderful instrument. The following day, I recall looking for every book I could find that dealt with stars, planet, and the universe. As I opened one book, I remember the first words I read: “Black Holes.” I was thinking, “How can a hole have color?” As I read further, I soaked in new and absurd ideas. The sentences “Light cannot escape it” and “it is infinitely dense and infinitely small,” sounded so preposterous that they kept me interested. Ever since then, my mind has been inexplicably drawn to seemingly impossible ideas and confusing topics.
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<p>Time for the cliche one!</p>

<p>In the words of Joe from Family Guy: "Yay for overcoming adversity!"</p>

<p><em>silence</em></p>

<p>What is your favorite quotation, and why? 500</p>

<p>“Obstacles cannot crush me. Every obstacle yields stern resolve. He who is fixed on a star does not change his mind.” – Leonardo da Vinci</p>

<p>Success is the child of raw and enduring determination. Nobody understood this concept better than Leonardo da Vinci, and his example inspires me. Having studied the man, his art, and his philosophy, I learned a great deal about him, but I also learned that success is earned.
Leonardo was raised by a well-to-do father, but money was not everything. As a bastard child, Leonardo was not expected to amount to much because bastard children had little to no opportunity to succeed, even with a wealthy father. Despite the obstacle, Leonardo succeeded to become the quintessential Renaissance man—a man who is learned and capable in the arts and sciences. He succeeded because of his tenacity, which allowed him to cling to his goal like a starved lioness on her prey.<br>
For much of my life, I have been able succeed in many endeavors. I, however, would soon meet my first real obstacle, and I would take the challenge with stern resolve. English was never a subject I was fond of, but I did well enough for quite some time. That all changed at the beginning my senior year. As I submitted my first commentary for the year, I anticipated a good grade; after all, I had put considerable effort into it. I was shocked when it was returned with an essay stating how awful my essay was. I thought to myself: “It was just a bad day. The next will be better.” The following day I submitted a paper, and yet again another paper was returned, and yet again it appeared like a war-torn document.<br>
Leonardo's words inspired me to continue trying. My resolve took hold, and I fixed my mind on a goal, and that goal was to improve my literary skills without fail. Day after day, I would revise my papers, study grammar, and immerse myself in the art of conveying a message clearly and concisely. I also completed every challenge she presented to me to my fullest capacity. As it stands, my teacher tells me that my growth in this school year has been phenomenal, and she praises me for my effort. The final this year, in her Texan words, was “darn hard.” I, however, received an eighty-four, the highest grade in the class by several points, and I achieved that grade through my hard work.
Regardless of my determination, my drive would sometimes dwindle, but after reading Leonardo’s words my focus would be renewed. His words and example motivate me to continue trying because for one to succeed in accomplishing one’s goal one must be able to weather the difficulties that stand in the way. Through his words and life, I acquire strength; the strength to carry on regardless of the challenge; the strength to achieve my goal.</p>

<p>BTW, my English class is really damn hard. My IB school only allows the top 10% from several high schools to join soooo.... yea. I purposely did this essay because my English grade started terribly (70, then 77, then 84). This went together with my rec from her, which was surprisingly great explaining my quick growth, maturity, and dedication. Corny or not, it is who I am =P.</p>

<p>Time to prepare for AMC!!!!! Weeeeeee</p>

<p>I don't know, they all seemed a bit cliched and bland... you should've made them more personal, done more showing than telling, and revealed something deeper about you.</p>

<p>Well I tried. All I could do with my schedule this year. Had to go out of town for two funerals prior to finals, I have 9 AP/IB classes, EC's, etc.</p>

<p>They seem poorly written, you should consider either editing it yourself or finding someone to do it for you.</p>

<p>you try to write good - but you cant. </p>

<p>AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAH</p>

<p>jk.</p>

<p>"you try to write good - but you cant. "</p>

<p>good is incorrectly used.</p>

<p>You just got English served, and yes my English is mediocre at best, but not everyone is perfect and I'm no different.</p>

<p>i was immitating something you would write.</p>

<p>.............</p>

<p>I'm going back to doing math...</p>

<p>The best advice I can give is probably not to stress about your essays anymore. You already submitted them, and unless you're planning on submitting them to other schools, why worry? What's done is done. Enjoy senior year and relax a bit! :)</p>

<p>lol like I could possibly do that. Actually, I was just curious as to opinions because I'm a very curious person. </p>

<p>P.S. Wouldn't it be funny if I was admitted?</p>

<p>you should've made it more... i don't know... personal or something. it lacks depth, although i love the ending. then again, i may be wrong.</p>

<p><em>reading</em>.........</p>

<p>Seriphoth, you know I wrote on three of the same topics..lol</p>

<p>Oh by the way, wasn’t the favorite quote essay only supposed to be 2000 characters (~300 words long)? I’m assuming it’s for Princeton as well.</p>

<p>"I know there are structure, grammar, clarity errors, etc but I had to do 8000 words in essays on my own in about 4 day"</p>

<p>so WHY did u wait until the last minute? and besides, you could totally spare up that 8000 words. i wrote one 500 supplemental essay and send it to 4 colleges. i have 2 500 essays, a lot of 250 ones. i really focused on these 500 ones. i wrote 4 drafts for each.</p>

<p>I had no choice. I had too much going on to fit them in. 9 classes, along with a large amount of EC's and family obligations forced me to wait to the last moment.</p>

<p>I simply had no time.</p>

<p>For me...
1 650 word essay, revised over 25 times
5 200 word essays, revised 3-7 times</p>

<p>Luckily, I was able to make my 500 word essay fit for Stanford, UCB, Harvard, MIT, Caltech, and Cornell :).</p>