<p>My advice is for athletes to stay away from anything sports related in their essays.</p>
<p>Other opinions?</p>
<p>Is there any particular reason? It seems like applicants tend to write about their strongest passions; isn’t it natural in some cases for an athlete’s passion to be his/her sport? There would probably be a lot to write about too; it probably wouldn’t just be a restating of achievements, which of course would make a pretty stupid essay.</p>
<p>Interesting thread, as we’re trying to spur this along right now. As I understand it, the right essay is the one that works. So if an athlete can write a compelling essay about a sport, then that would be their angle. If they think that just because they play a sport, that’s their best topic, then maybe they have to think a little harder about what to write.</p>
<p>Plus, I’ve been wondering. If the coach is helping them in, then do their essays have to be <em>as</em> stellar as the rest of the applicant pool? Does it still matter equally, or do they just have to write a well-composed essay in that case?</p>
<p>My son was a recruited athlete and he was encouraged to totally stay away from sports in his essay for a variety of reasons. First, a large portion of admissions officers may not be interested in sports at all, not a good way to start. Another caveat, the theory that women admissions officers are not partial to sports or may be unfamiliar (personally I disagree). Also, there is no guarantee that anyone will be familiar or appreciate YOUR particular sport. Now we all know that OUR sport is best, but is that view shared by everyone else.</p>
<p>Last, the sports essay has been done before and probably been done in this year. How many times will they read the same basic essay about (insert your sport here), and the dedication to it, the impact on your life etc. Not to say it isnt important to our kids and us, but just that it may be so important that everyone writes about it. And the basic idea of the essay is to somehow distinguish yourself from others. You dont want to appear one dimensional.</p>
<p>This is just advice we were given. He choose to write on a personal encounter and his volunteer activities and their impact.</p>
<p>I did one essay on one of my coaches, but didn’t really talk about my coach in a sports-sense, if you understand. It was more about how he helped to shape me as a person and the benefits of hard work, etc.</p>
<p>For the life of me, I don’t remember my other essay topic. Maybe I just blocked out the experience.</p>
<p>jerseygirl, I’m curious, who encouraged him to stay away from the topic? I can see how it gets repetitive, but realistically, don’t just as many write about volunteering and other character-building activities in an attempt to set themselves apart? Not trying to challenge your point of view, I really want to understand. </p>
<p>I bought a book which was something like ‘50 Harvard Essays’. It is true I have not come across one that’s about a sport. Interestingly, a large majority of them write about being Asian. So in that case, if they all write about it, does that make it less important? </p>
<p>I do agree that the "my sport has taught me the meaning of dedication and teamwork’ can get a little dry, but if you put the right spin to anything, isn’t that what’s going to set the writer apart?</p>
<p>Frankly, I think that there is some resentment in admissions of the recruited athlete, and it’s best to show ALL your dimensions.</p>
<p>Both the high school guidance counselor (department chair) and a private college counselor stressed writing about something other than sports. The private counselor felt strongly about the reader as a woman argument as the reason against the sports essay. I think the perception is sports essays are mostly written by boys, but read by women. As you can tell I disagree, because as a woman, I am a rabid football fan and a dedicated sports fan in general. But sometimes you have to take the advice of experts, so he went the other angles. </p>
<p>I think there is more opportunity in EC (volunteering, work etc) experiences, again just my view, and the opportunity to have a different sounding essay. I think the key is the ability to take the topic, make it interesting, unusual, and unique, to any possible reader. I think the perceptions of the counselors is that other activities have a greater chance of that happening. There is more variation on how a volunteer situation impacted you, thus a more unique essay. </p>
<p>Again, this is only our experience and guidance, I understand the questions and everyone just wants to play the right angles. In all honesty, I got the private counselor before the football recruiting heated up, and I just wanted them to eliminate the fighting between my son and i over writing essays. It didnt work that way, we still fought, still it was nice to have someone with experience giving advice, and most seemed to work. However, most of it could be found on CC. </p>
<p>I think the book might prove their point of view. How interesting could reading 50 essays on the same topic be? Imagine that many many times over… The best advice given came from an admission officer at Gettysburg College who recommended NOT relying on spell check alone but to also have someone read the essay to make sure the correct word was used, as many words can be spelled correctly but used wrong. To quote their website
[Gettysburg</a> College - Top Ten Tips for A Great College Essay](<a href=“http://www.gettysburg.edu/admissions/application_process/tips-for-college-essays.dot]Gettysburg”>http://www.gettysburg.edu/admissions/application_process/tips-for-college-essays.dot)</p>
<p>“Spell check will not catch that you were abducted’ into National Honor Society. We realize that you were probably inducted,’ but we notice those things that spell check did not.”</p>
<p>If you can approach it from a unique perspective I think a sports related essay is okay. Better that than another ‘struggles of my immigrant grandparents’ essay.</p>
<p>If you are a recruited athlete, your essay simply needs to make the grade (i.e., not knock you out of a slot). </p>
<p>Be yourself in the essay. If you relate to life through your sport (overcoming all the challenges that come with being so committed; learning to lead; learning to build upon failure and success, etc.), then that is your passion and you deserve to write about your passion.</p>
<p>You are not trying to read the crystal ball and infer that the person(s) from admissions is anti-sport why would you do such a thing it is far more likely that admissions knows you are an athlete and understands that one of his/her main dimensions is athletics.</p>
<p>From another perspective: if you were really involved in working with the homeless, would you not write about your passion? Would you write about your love of sports instead?</p>
<p>Stop being paranoid about shouting out to the world what the athlete does 20 40 hrs each and every week; 52 weeks a year; for as long as he/she can remember. Are you ashamed? Are you embarrassed? Sports have given your athlete a lens through which the world has been viewed if the spirit moves him/her, they should share their experiences. </p>
<p>It is what made him/her what they are.</p>
<p>My daughter, a recruited athlete, is not writing about her sport. While at an information session at a college (not one she is applying to), the presenter begged the students assembled to avoid two distinct lines of thought: one was sports related “there were 2 seconds left in the game, the whole team counted on me…”; the other was volunteer work abroad “I lived in a hut in Uruguay and learned that even people with nothing can be happy” - the words in quotations are pretty much direct quotes of the examples this lady asked us to avoid - the picture was pretty clear that they see more essays along these lines than they can bear to read.
However, in defense of sports based essays, the coach at one of the school’s my daughter is being recruited by, saw no problem with a sports related essay going to admissions, and has seen such essays go to admissions from applicants getting coach’s slots. </p>
<p>OldBatsie - I think I agree with your line of thought, that perhaps admissions readers may not be enchanted by the essay of one more athletic recruit. As important as the sport is to the student/athlete, there must be more than one dimension to the student, and those other dimensions/unique traits are what should be revealed, I feel. </p>
<p>wilberry 228 - The title of the book you are thinking of did make me laugh - during our Harvard visit, our tour guide said that book should perhaps be labelled “50 essays that got students admitted to HYP, in spite of their content”!</p>
<p>mayhew - LOL … I see that in some cases. Although there were a couple that I thought was really good. My favorite so far was one where the writer just wrote about who he was (I am a this, I love to do that, I eat these, I am afraid of those…) It would have been difficult to pull off, but he was a very good writer, and it worked really well. </p>
<p>Another was written by a girl who had been at death’s door due to a failed heart surgery that left her in a wheelchair so she wouldn’t challenge her heart to the point where it would give in, for many months. A perfect essay topic, of course, but how many of us have had experiences like this (and who would want to? she deserves to be able to put it to work for her!)</p>
<p>As for the women reading male athlete essays, how does that apply to a female applicant?</p>
<p>At the end of the day, in suggesting topics to my daughter, I suggested other than her sport. I’ve read essays for school where she writes about the sport and, while well written, I felt that it made her sound a little too channeled and not well rounded enough. That would be my argument against the sports essay. But I also think it could work if it showed some important point, outside of “it was the end of the game and everyone was counting on me.”</p>
<p>But as I said, she is still struggling with it, and I don’t know what she will choose. I hope she will show it to me! I do want to make sure it’s not about any abductions!! ;-)</p>
<p>I agree with Sherpa, JG in CT & Oldbatsiedoc on this one…stay away from the athletic essay if you are a recruited athlete </p>
<p>Typically, admissions tells you their goal is to see all your dimensions and “well roundedness” (new word) at least that is what we were told by most. I agree that it has to be something the student is passionate about. We were recently told by a Ivy College Dean that the essays were an important part of acceptance and rejection for the class of 2014. I would expect them to be equally as important for the class of 2015. I would spend the time to make it “shine”, and not just “mail it in”. The acceptance rates at these top schools is less than 10% in most cases. I think that says it all.</p>
<p>I agree with Mayhew–“As important as the sport is to the student/athlete, there must be more than one dimension to the student, and those other dimensions/unique traits are what should be revealed, I feel.”</p>
<p>and my D is not going to write about a sport in her essay either. Just not because it’s better to avoid… but because she wants to show other side of her. It’s very obvious in her EC that she has passion in her sport. That’s why these kids are recruited!!! There’s no point repeating it again.</p>
<p>I know… finding a right topic for the essay is very difficult.</p>
<p>at some schools the essay is more than just “make the grade”, it’s a key component of the admissions decision. </p>
<p>my d wrote about her sport, after 40 hours a week for 4 years, she didn’t think it made sense to not write about the biggest growth experience of her life, to date. Admissions loved it (a female reader). And referred to it in correspondence with my daughter. However, I do understand it’s unique to have correspondence with admissions but it was direct feedback and proof that 1) the essay was critical to admissions, and 2) that sports subject was fine…It’s not the subject matter of the essay that matters, it’s the message!</p>
<p>Your s/d is a RECUITED athlete. They are not one of the 26,000 other applicants all of whom are trying to distinguish themselves in a few hundred words. In those informational visits to the schools where the admissions officer is giving advice, are the visitors all (or mostly) recruited athletes; or is the advice about essay content being given generally to everyone present (i.e., to the other 26,000)? Do the books about essays (which are sold by the tens of thousands to people looking to be unique) contain special sections devoted to recruited athletes; or are those books written for the other 26,000?</p>
<p>You s/d is not all things to all people. He/she did not spread themselves out to umpteen clubs; dozens of ec’s; special resume builders abroad. He/She devoted themselves to a sport (yes, they have other activities and they are great students, etc). They are well rounded (actually probably a little oblong); they are well read; they are good students. But, to try to manufacture life experiences while cutting out 20 – 40 hrs a week is simply going to your “B” game.</p>
<p>Now, the content of the essay can be shallow; or it can be deep. It can use the sport as a metaphor to life; or it can be trite; it can be well written or not. That is up to the author. But, your s/d is not one of the 26,000. He/she is one with the hook; the school is not looking to reject him/her (like the 26,000); the school is looking to accept him/her.</p>
<p>Let me frame it this way. Of the 26,000 other applicants, assume the overwhelming majority listened to the well-intended admissions advice; bought the books (making the authors a bit of change); hired private college counselors; wrote essays that ran the gamut of whatever a few hundred words can cover. How’d it work? Not very good since 23,000+ didn’t get in! (If you take away those that did not have grades or scores you are left with, what, 15,000 “qualified applicants;” meaning that 12,000 didn’t get in. And, I am sure that there were some beautiful essays in the rejected group.)</p>
<p>Of the RECRUITED athletes who had the grades and scores and whose essay was well written and in some way touched their sport (whether by metaphor or in some real way) how many failed to get in? Does anyone have any actual evidence of a trend to rejection? (Actually, the coach is probably the best source since he/she has a vested interest in getting the athlete in.)</p>
<p>If your s/d wants to write about something else, fine. But, after really thinking about it, he/she wants to use sports as his/her springboard, go at it!</p>
<p>(BTW, I have heard that the “well-rounded” student is not the target of a college; rather colleges want someone who has pursued a passion to their very core; who has brought their soul into play; someone who has committed to something. An inch wide and a mile deep is better than a mile wide and an inch deep. Colleges want a diverse class, which when looked at from a distance is “well-rounded,” but whose individual components are more oblong and jagged – like the pieces of a puzzle.)</p>
<p>^^Or, as Dean Fitzsimmons of Harvard labels the committed student: “well-lopsided.”</p>
<p>Great post, stemit.</p>
<p>Somehow, our kids/athletes have to get over feeling as though they have to apologize or downplay that part of their life and passion that has brought to the door of these elite schools. The schools are soliciting their interest and they are worthy.</p>
<p>The schools have lofty requirements, but they are interested in the recruited athlete because of the talent they have and the investment they have made in taking their skill to a level where the school has targeted them for a preferred place in their community.</p>
<p>Would one advise a premier dancer, an elite musician, or a math prodigy to ignore their passion and the insights and achievements they derive from pursuing excellence in their chosen endeavor? These admissions offices are building a class from their secret recipe, and athletic excellence has a seat at the table right along the academic excellence.</p>
<p>I am certain that with appropriate effort and talent (or lack thereof), a superior musician, artist, or dancer can create singular insights from their chosen pursuit or they can create an unmemorable and pedestrian commentary that is the bane of every admissions officer as they wade through their allotment of the 26,000+ essays.</p>
<p>Advice for the athlete. Use your passion for your sport in your essay if this is what moves you. Do it with care, intelligence, wit, insight, and skill, but do not be dissuaded by the “supposed” bias of an unknown admissions officer. Be true to yourself. And, remember, in most cases you were invited to the party and they want to admit you. At the least, the admissions officer who reads your essay will have to explain to someone (the coach sponsoring you, the balance of the committee) if they want to kill your application based on essay.</p>
<p>A closing observation. In Bowen and Shulman’s The Game of Life, based on their exhaustive research, they found:</p>
<ul>
<li><p>Athletes are admitted to Ivies with lower credentials than non-athletes</p></li>
<li><p>While in school, the athletes perform at at slightly lower lever than the student body as whole</p></li>
<li><p>After graduating, athletes earn significantly higher incomes that the average graduate (many are clustered in the financial services sector)</p></li>
<li><p>These athletes give back to their alma mater’s at significantly higher levels than non-athlete graduates</p></li>
</ul>
<p>Why wouldn’t an elite school create a place for such a class of students and graduates when constructing their admissions profile?</p>
<p>stemit and bballdad - I do appreciate your perspectives - and I just think “wow” when, stemit, you rightfully point out that admissions is looking to accept the recruit as opposed to looking at why they might reject the other 26,000 applicants. It is just dawning on me the amazing position our children have put themselves in - of course, this isn’t over for my recruit, at least, so who knows how it will end - but right now, I just think “wow”!</p>
<p>stem, agree! good post. </p>
<p>choosing sports as a subject matter is not bad for a “highly” recruited athlete. Although I do have evidence of one athlete who was rejected for a poorly written essay. this was one of the best junior athletes in the world, and her essay effort was weak. Admissions rejected her, so there she is, the most recruited athlete in her sport, in December of her senior year with no college. And the recruiting and application season over.</p>
<p>but as you point out, it was hers to lose, she could have easily won had she tried harder.</p>