<p>I'm applying to business schools in a few months and have been wondering about how I should tailor my essays before I send them in. Should I take a business-oriented route in an attempt to display my business skills, or do admissions officers prefer broader topics so it doesn't seem like I live in a cave and only focus on business? </p>
<p>I realize that this is a difficult question to ask, but for others who went through this process and were/weren't happy with their college results, what did you do?</p>
<p>My business-oriented essay would be about my efforts working for my father and starting a business with him during the summer in an attempt to make some money so I can buy (or lease) a car.</p>
<p>My broader essay would center around my life as a first-generation Indian male living in America.</p>
<p>Not sure if this will be helpful, but I applied as transfer to an undergraduate business university, and got in a pretty average 3.31 GPA. So I at least think that my essay partly helped my admission chances. I talked about being an undeclared Sophomore who knew exactly what I wanted to major in and do in life, but felt that I just needed to transfer to that business university in order to accomplish my goals.</p>
<p>I’m not an admissions person or anything like that, but I think if you can show that you’re focused and that business school is really what you want to do to accomplish your goals then that would help.</p>
<p>As far as your ideas, I do like the second one seeing as how I am Indian myself (I talked about teaching myself Bhangra in my college essay haha). But I don’t know enough about where you’re going with that essay to really support it. The business-oriented essay sounds good overall imo. Shows that you’re helpful, and willing to work hard to accomplish what you want to do.</p>
<p>Does the business oriented essay talk about you and how you view the world? Does it talk about a unique experience that you had? Or is it a rather boring essay basically talking about some things you did?
If it’s the former, go ahead. If it’s the latter (just talking about things you did), I would write the second essay, because it seems much more interesting, more personal, and more revealing of your personality and who you are.</p>
<p>Transfer essays are different because colleges will ask you to specifically write an essay on why you want to transfer to their college, so that’s a whole different matter.</p>
<p>@rps1073 My second essay would be related to the pros/cons about being a first-generation, as well as the benefits of living in a huge punjabi family haha. I guess it would be my way of describing my uniquity and its importance to me.</p>
<p>@terenc Well I would relate my business essay towards the fact that I have been very fortunate throughout my life and haven’t truly had a chance to “earn” something. Working over the summer, albeit for my dad, in order to get a car would be my first chance to prove to myself that I can work hard and see results outside of school. I think a lack of adversity in my life has been something that holds me back; while I’m not asking to be struck with a life-threatening disease, I believe adversity does all the cliches: build character, make tougher, etc.</p>
How exactly does talking about a “lack of adversity” in you life help you? It seems to me, that the way you are writing about it is actually going to turn off many admissions officers.
If anything, you might give the adcom officers the impression that you have lived a life of privilege…</p>
<p>Both sound like great topics. The former sounds more relevant. I also think it’d be a good idea to wrap up your essays with some discussion of the future (how this experience made you stronger for your future endeveors…etc). </p>
<p>Did they not ask you to write about anything specifically? They just said write 2 essays on any topic you desire? If so, just write it on Battlestar Galactica :). </p>
<p>I also think that a good topic would just be about your goals for the future. What career paths your interested in and why…etc.</p>
<p>@terenc I guess I hadn’t thought of it that way. In my mind, it would show a level of maturity because I’m acknowledging how fortunate I am and how I need to build my own character. I think you’re right; I don’t want to risk turning off any admissions officers.</p>
<p>@Whatdidyou Yeah I agree with your point about relevancy, I just want to show them that I’m not just business-business-business all the time (unless that’s what they want). If I’m not mistaken, I need to write one essay on absolutely anything I want. Not sure about Battlestar Galactica though, haha. Thanks for your advice!</p>
<p>You could certainly ask other people for a second opinion about the first essay topic; you could ask your English teacher about your ideas, for example.</p>
<p>However, I still believe that simply talking about the lack of adversity in your life would make you come off as privileged and boring. Rather than making you seem mature, it would make you seem a little juvenile, a naive student who has no experience with the real world. Unless you have a very unique take on the topic, or have a very unique lesson to share with the admissions officers, I would avoid that topic. I would like to stress, however, that this is only my personal opinion. Execution matters just as much as the idea, and almost any topic can be written about if it is done in the “right” way.</p>