In my state, anyone over 18 can get a copy of a death certificate (there is a form to fill out, but death certificates are a matter of public record). Your DIL can call the county courthouse or whoever registers deaths in that region and find out how to get them directly. There is nothing magical about a funeral home- they provide them (and charge for them) as a matter of convenience, but when I needed additional copies after my parents died, I just called the municipal office of births/deaths…
4 Likes
We paid extra for the funeral home to send the death certificates overnight mail. I needed a copy ASAP for the condo so I could pay the HOA fee (which included most of the utilities) and for the house insurance.
We had an estate account created so that we weren’t paying out of our accounts for all the house bills, the funeral expenses and the attorney fees. We were able to have the estate account reimburse us for what we had to pay upfront but it took a while to establish the account.
1 Like
I’m an executor for the 2nd time. I ordered tons of death certificates based upon my past experience.
Just found the following article: Probate Primer: How to Be an Estate’s Executor
2 Likes
I passed the notion of a checking account for the estate on, fwiw. I don’t know that there are any liquid assets to put in the account, however. But might be an excellent idea, thank you.
Still waiting for the death certificates (12) to arrive. I badgered the funeral director about not sending them with tracking, he got huffy, I was firm, he has agreed to get 2 more “immediately” and deliver them himself to the lawyer. Of course, that leaves the ones DiL paid for still in the wind. It is the position of the funeral home that the usps lost them, so he is not going to pay for a second set since it isn’t his fault. May not want to fight this particular battle. The fd was a bit pointed about DiL’s inability to make decisions, which I agree with but otoh, her mother just died unexepctedly and you want clear thinking?
Yes, you can order them yourself, the cost is the same, the timeline is 2-3 weeks unless you go into the city with the paperwork and wait (you can wait around and they will give you copies by the end of business).
My dad told my sister and me that he expected us to make a sizable annual donation to his fundamentalist church every year after he passes. We said, uh, no, that’s not happening. I suggested he start a trust if he wanted to make an annual contribution and he said he wasn’t doing that. But just recently he mentioned making some changes to his will so I’m guessing he will leave the church a good bit of money. Fine with me, but I refuse to make a direct donation to that group.
11 Likes
Sigh! You would think that a funeral director would be be sympathetic to family members that have lost loved ones unexpectedly.
I suspect that he’s used to having the death certificates picked up directly and isn’t used to having to send them. Still it’s his fault and only his that he did not send them with a tracking number.
We were talking to a funeral director at a recent funeral. He said that his business has changed dramatically since the pandemic and societal changes. I think they are operating on a very slim margin. So I do feel for funeral directors.
And I know you can’t get what you can’t get. But it’s the funeral directors responsibility to get the death certificates to the customer. And not your fault that the post office “lost” them.
2 Likes
Sorry to add on to my post 
If you’ve ever sent or bought anything on eBay, the responsibility is on the sender to mail your package with tracking.
What if I bought a doodad on eBay and it never showed up? Would the seller say too bad, so sad, I didn’t send it tracked. You need to pay for the doodad again. PayPal would side with the sender very fast. That’s why they insist that you send things tracked.
No, you only send things through USPS that you can either afford to lose or replace.
When you send a check to the cable company and it’s never received, they expect you to stop payment on the check and send another payment.
Geez, blaming the poor young woman for your incompetence is a new low!
Your daughter in law’s indecision has nothing to do with the lost death certificates. It’s only deflection and blaming technique.
7 Likes
One thing I learned as an executor - be careful about the estate attorney. We had an estate attorney who was the decedents’ elder law attorney. I did not select him, just continued to use him for the estate-related issues, figuring he was familiar w/the family and knew the situation. Let’s just say he is no longer practicing law!
4 Likes
Agree—our estate attorney was lonely and I believe a bit past her prime. We tried to talk to her as little as possible and just trusted our excellent executor. We
1 Like
My parents had both a will and a trust. The parts of the estate governed by the will were relatively simple. The trust took two or three years, mostly because of some issue with the IRS and how to evaluated the worth of a piece of real estate. The lawyers in charge of the trust were able to release some of the money to us early, but had to keep some in reserve.
I think you’ll find that legally, most passwords should not be used by executors. When a person dies, the executor should notify the vendor (of the account) and then the account will be frozen.
“The lawyer seems to think that for physically doing things (selling a car, a house, finding contractors to clear the house, etc) it will be sufficient to have some sort of Zoom meeting where Executor authorizes DiL to take specific action in the presence of the lawyer.”
I’d find a new lawyer. No way an Executor can delegate to DIL the legal authority to sign off on contracts on behalf of the estate. (btw: also believe lawyer is padding fees. No need to be in on every call.)
1 Like
Legal or not it simplifies the heck out of everything to get rid of services fast–subcription services, newspapers, ebay accounts, paypal, spotifywebsites that need taken down so they don’t keep the billing going. Otherwise they want death certificates and documentation and copies of every blessed thing.
Even to keep some services going until things can be changed over–water, electric, cable. It shouldn’t be that hard to pay somebody elses bills but they make it difficult sometimes.
AND people have passwords for their computers also–where a lot of important information/documents/photos can be stored. Plus the subscription services for virus protection etc associated with the computer.
Combinations to safes, safety deposit box keys. Get it all.
3 Likes
So if the executor can’t delegate signing contracts for work to be done, who would do that? The executor is not physically present and never will be.
I think passwords and info about utilities, etc. are a big overlooked issue.People have wills, power of attorney, etc. but the day to day parts of life get missed. I have a whole notebook of this sort of stuff for our kids to have. Stopping the mail, for example, is next to impossible if you aren’t the executor as is having it forwarded or even picked up by someone.
1 Like
Huh? In the age of covid, nearly everyone accepts phone-zoom calls from the Executor/Personal Representative. For docs that must be signed, USPS Priority mail works fine with 2nd day air and tracking.
I was Executor of my folks stuff when my dad died last year with covid raging, so I just picked up the phone and called the utilities – which I found online – and gave them a new billing address, cancelled the cable & cell phones, called credit card companies to tell them of the death, etc. The cc companies froze teh account, sent me a confirmation letter, and asked that I send them a copy of the death cert once I received it. Not a big deal, and no need to be local.
I lived 400 miles away. My SIL lived in town so I asked her to go by the house and get teh number for the gardener and give him my e-mail so I could pay him.
I found RE agents and interviewed them online with another beneficiary. Sold the house using mostly Docusign. The Escrow agent found a local place where I could sign off on the final paper work.
“AND people have passwords for their computers also–where a lot of important information/documents/photos can be stored. Plus the subscription services for virus protection etc associated with the computer.”
Yes, they do, and that was my point. Cloud accounts can be difficult to retrieve when someone dies so folks need to consider than when they set them up.
Yep, we did as much over zoom and docusign as we could. Lots needed to be notarized and overnighted.
Overall, everyone wanted their money - utilities, IRS, local government, HOA, etc… Copy of the death certificate and a document verifying that I was the executor from the estate attorney was all that was needed.
I was able to put a mail forwarding request online.
1 Like
That’s the beauty of calling the credit card companies adn banks to let them know of the death. It freezes the accounts and automatically stops future payment transactions. That gives teh Executor time to call and cancel teh subscription services. Most are understanding and will make the cancellation effective the date of death or end of that billing cycle. Again, no need to be local.
Docusign? We use this often for legally binding things.
The only difficulty we had terminating anything was the cell phone. Our dad had just done a new contract, and the company (I don’t remember whether it was ATT or Verizon) insisted we had to pay for the phone for a dead person until the contract ended. We may have just stopped paying as our parent estate had zero dollars for them to come after.
A lot of “contracts” are low end/low risk agreements where an e-signature (not even a docusign) is sufficient. I needed a termite evaluation on a piece of property in another state… the company made a big deal out of “we need a signed contract”. No- they needed a billing address, which they knew wasn’t the property in question since it was vacant!
The lawyer should know all of this… people buy and sell property from thousands of miles away every single day!!! It’s not that hard to do even with an executor who is not physically present. AND… the paperwork to get the executor replaced isn’t that hard if the executor seems unwilling to get educated on how to settle an estate…
Thumper- I love your cellphone story. I have similar except it was for a cable box. Months and months after I settled the estate (even with the IRS which took years) I was still getting a bill for $7.95/month rental on the cable box. Which I had physically returned (had the receipt), for an address which had sold, for cable TV for a person who was dead. The cable company knew that the device hadn’t been switched on in years… but the rep was just flummoxed as to how to end the billing cycle!!! There are many options to check off-- switched providers, moved, cut the cord to streaming, etc. But “removed cable box because the subscriber is dead” is apparently not one of them!!!
Car leases are notoriously difficult to get out of even when the person passes away. My sister had a terrible time when her husband passed away in the middle of a lease.
That was her experience
3 Likes
Lease is a form of debt, and debts do not just go away upon death, if the estate is solvent. The Executor is responsible for paying all of the Estate’s debts before distributing assets to beneficiaries.
“Thumper- I love your cellphone story. I have similar except it was for a cable box.”
Had a similar issue with my dad’s cable bill. They: ‘he just renewed for 24 months’. Me: ‘great, then send the bill to his grave, bcos all I will pay as Executor is the last month’s bill’. (They finally spoke to a Supervisor which turned off the cable for an extra $50 cancellation fee, which I thought was fair.)
2 Likes