<p>^ I agree. I don’t know what kind of admissions letters your students get, but I think every one mine got came with a card or letter to accept or decline the offer and most listed the email and phone numbers as well. And many of them did ask where D was attending if she was not accepting their offer. It seems like that’s a lot of wasted time and effort on the admissions dept to ask for something that they don’t want over there at School X…</p>
<p>BTW, D it looks like D is going to transfer, and while doing a 180 and changing majors radically meant that the schools she got into last spring were not on this year’s list, if they were, the first thing she would have done is emailed the adcoms and I am sure it would have been a lot better to have responded to their question(s) than to have disappeared.</p>
<p>Not only that father05- this is the time those emails can mean something to another student sitting on a wait-list. In my D’s case, some other student probably got the call they were accepted yesterday due to my kid’s timely withdrawal from the ranks of accepted students. Without it, if she had remained silent as benny suggests, that student wouldn’t have been notified for over a month. In that month they could have made other plans that were hard, if not impossible, to change. </p>
<p>A short note is the appropriate way to handle this. In the note I posted, all they had to read was one line.</p>
<p>A year ago, my son wrote letters to the other five schools that had offered him admission, explaining that he accepted a wonderful National Merit offer from his chosen school. He thanked each school for its acceptance. He did receive a letter from one school that had offered him a full tuition scholarship saying that if he changed his mind, it would keep all his records on file for one year and he would have a spot there.</p>
<p>I too disagree with Benny. But I also disagree with others about naming the ‘chosen’ college. (Personally, I don’t care to be a marketing research piece for anyone.) My kids did, however, point out to the adcom when their financial aid package was wanting, particularly if it is a 100% meets-need college. IMO, it’s important for them to realize each and ever year that they are losing out on applicants to colleges with better need-based formulas.</p>
<p>btw, curm, I would have edited your D’s letter to read: “Please withdraw my application. I was honored…” (Unless she has already deposited/accepted.)</p>
<p>benny1 - disagree completely. As someone who works in college counseling and frequently speaks with college admissions reps - they do appreciate a brief e-mail of response. During the month of April, they are very busy trying to determine who will be attending in the fall. If they have not heard back from a student - they assume the student is still considering their institution. They may have alumni call - they may have present students call - they may send more mail to you - they are now trying to woo the accepted student. If you are not going to be attending - let them know. After they take 30 seconds to read the e-mail - they can stop the outreach efforts towards that particular student - saving time and money. The more responses they get in April - both deposits and e-mails saying “no thanks” - the sooner they can determine if they will be going to the waitlist. </p>
<p>Folks - please do as everyone else here has advised and DO send a brief e-mail to the colleges you will not be attending.</p>
<p>Completely appropriate, considerate and the proper way to conduct business. Last year S2 came up with a very similar letter. 3 years previously S1 got in off his waitlist in July so we know the importance of timing. Good luck to your d.</p>
<p>I encouraged my son in this for 3 simple reasons - (1) it’s the polite thing to do, (2) it opens up a possibility for someone on the waitlist, and (3) it frees up scholarship money/honors college spots for the universities to use for someone else. </p>
<p>curmudgeon - best of luck to your daughter.</p>
<p>bb, she was already accepted at the med schools. That acceptance has to then be “accepted” by the student within a week or two, hence the word “withdrawal”. Whether that is technically correct, I don’t really know (I get confused easily) but I think she got the point across.</p>
<p>I might have used “decline” but I think that her choice was “decline or accept” months ago when she accepted her acceptance. I don’t really remember, though I saw the letters. Whatever. You’ve made my head hurt. lol.</p>
<p>FYI, ds already has gotten a response from the adcom with whom he felt a personal connection, asking if he minded sharing what other schools are still in the running. I’m sure he’ll respond with the details.</p>
<p>I think letting them know is useful and important. But it’s not personal. It is incredible to me how they create this illusion actually, and its one that is important for them to create. But for the most part, it’s just a business with a ton of numbers involved. </p>
<p>While they have given acceptees an entirely different impression (on purpose), be assured that you are usually really a number to them in a file and they really couldn’t care that much one way or another (there are a few exceptions of course but for the vast majority of applicants, this applies). If they ask about where you are going, or follow up with you, tell them otherwise don’t waste your time. </p>
<p>They very likely aren’t tracking you, they couldn’t care less who your sibling is or what school you went to or what state you live in – anything they care about is analyzed at the aggregate and already in their database. They are not sitting in a room personally talking about you, they likely can’t remember you, nor is the adcom staying up at night thinking “dang, I almost snagged him”. (not that the OP or her son think this i’m just saying it’s NOT personal). </p>
<p>Even when we do admissions selections at the graduate level- I’m talking 11 faculty focused on say 20 viable strong candidates, where we invite some of them in to spend a few days with us, and we email a lot with them afterwards (AND we will see them in our field for the rest of our lives). Most can just write a polite email saying they are going elsewhere and what they’ve chosen. We would be hard pressed to remember their name two months later (or maybe the following year it might be 'remember that Utah guy…"). But this is with maybe the 7 we have actually met!</p>
<p>D was accepted at four schools – one medium and three large universities. None of them sent her a postcard or any instrucutions to decline the offer of admissions. She’s not going to bother digging through the folders to try to find an e-mail address to decline admission at three of the schools…they’ll figure it out when they don’t get her deposit by May 1st. I don’t have a problem with this; maybe because she never had any personal contact or conversation with any of the admission staff?</p>
<p>I don’t think that by declining now, she would make a spot for someone on the waitlist. Universities have a projected yield, but the prediction could be off by a little. At this point, wouldn’t the school wait until May 2 to see how many deposited, and then offer spots to wait-listed students to fill the class? Why would a school pull someone off the waitlist before they knew the yield for this year?</p>
<p>Do you not RSVP to parties, either, figuring out that people will know you’re not there when you don’t show up?</p>
<p>Which do you think wastes more time?
Someone in the admissions office getting an email saying Mary Smith has decided to go elsewhere, and subsequently then updating a database of admitted students to reflect one less …</p>
<p>Or the admissions office having a bunch of no-responses and then having to chase down all those no-response students so they can get an accurate idea of how many freshmen they have and whether / to what extent they need to go to a waitlist?</p>
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<p>Practically every school has a general email of <a href=“mailto:admissions@blahblahblah.edu”>admissions@blahblahblah.edu</a>, easily found on the website. Sorry, if you get your acceptances on April 1, and you know by April 3 you’re not going there, I think it is rude to just let the clock run out til May 1. You should let them know as soon as possible. It’s just common courtesy.</p>
<p>If you make dinner reservations and your plans change, do you call and cancel, or do you just not show up and figure that they’ll figure it out when you don’t show?</p>
<p>Mrsref, if I ran a database of, say, 10,000 names and I needed to know on the morning of May 2 how many had accepted so that I could determine whether I needed to go to a waitlist, don’t you think I’d rather be updating the database throughout the month of April as it came in on a real-time basis, and then just be chasing down a few stragglers, rather than do it all on May 2 because students were too lazy to let me know a simple “no thanks”? Have you ever coordinated getting information from a large number of people? I have, and the people who wait til the end are rude. If you know you’re not going, give that information in as soon as possible. Cross it off your to-do list AND theirs.</p>
<p>If one only applied to a reasonable number of schools, how difficult is it to take that last step for closure and politely decline the offer of admission? It’s generally very easy to go to the school’s website & get an e-mail to send to the school’s admission’s office. If it’s not the correct office, they will re-route it and you & your child will graciously leave the door open, *just in case your child has future dealings with that school<a href=“in%20addition%20to” title=“being the right thing to do”>/I</a>. It’s a small world and you never know when the path may re-cross. For some reason, your child liked the school enough to apply & they liked your child enough to admit.</p>
<p>Even tho my S didn’t feel up to sending the e-mails, I felt it was important, so I did it and am glad I did so perhaps some kid got notified sooner than s/he might otherwise if they cleared the waiting list. I also felt very strongly about letting them know why their school wasn’t chosen, when relevant.</p>
<p>They don’t chase down admitted students who do not reply by May 1st. D1 did not send a notice to decline at any schools, and not one contacted her.</p>
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<p>I would be updating the deposits as they came in. On May 2, I would assume anyone who hadn’t deposited is not coming.</p>
<p>This isn’t a party with an RSVP list, it is a business transaction with a contract. A person may show up to a party without RSVPing, and that’s rude, but a party host has to decide how to prepare for that possibility. I don’t think a student who has not sent a deposit will be showing up for orientation in August. The contract states that to be guaranteed a spot in the fall, one must send a deposit by May 1st. By not sending a deposit, D2 notifies the schools she will not be attending.</p>
<p>If you want to treat the offer of admissions like a party RSVP, fine. The offer of admission is the invitiation, RSVP (acceptances only) by May 1.</p>
<p>You are hilarious, Pizzagirl, and correct. If a student knows that they won’t attend a certain school, they should certainly “RSVP” immediately. It’s the right thing to do. Everyone wants to move on - the college wants to figure out their yield, waitlisted students want to be accepted, and the admitted student should want to close out the non-matriculating schools and focus on the school he/she plans to attend. To excuse this responsibility, as mrsref suggests, is poor form.</p>
<p>All of my daughter’s acceptances came with a reply card or letter - Wellesley, bless them, includes a self-addressed, stamped envelope. She replied a few days after she made her decision and she included a personal letter to the schools who offered her merit scholarships.</p>
<p>Strongly agree with starbright. This is a matter of administrative convenience, not handing back an engagement ring. Don’t worry too much about the form, just get it done.</p>
<p>Maybe, following mrsref’s and benny’s philosophy, colleges shouldn’t notify everyone on April 1 whether they’ve been admitted or rejected. Just send out the admittance letters and hey, if you haven’t received a letter by April 2, assume you’re not in. Would you appreciate that? I’m guessing not.</p>
(It’s down to 3 contenders, awaiting FA.)</p>
I don’t really remember, though I saw the letters. Whatever. You’ve made my head hurt. lol.</p>