Everything Points to Med School!

Parents Forum
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<p>(If this is "too long; didn't read", you can skip the intro and go down to the bolded parts! :D Thanks!)</p>

<p>Hi, parents. I really, really need some life advice. I do not know what to do. I've been racking my brain and I can't figure it out and I'm just so scared and sad because of it.</p>

<p>See, I just got done reading this book that affirmed my belief that I should follow my dream and passion and use college to figure out what it is.</p>

<p>The thing is, even after taking all sorts of tests and self-assessments, my passion, my dream, my purpose... NONE of those came out. There is NOTHING I am excited for! Before people kept asking me "What are you doing in college?" in front of my parents, I would say "Philosophy" because there is nothing I cared about doing.</p>

<p>Sure, there are things that get me excited. Like Ethics. Learning about other cultures and languages. Traveling. Teaching people something new/unorthodox. Simplifying things for others. Making plans for others. Gaining insight from others (which is why I love meeting new people, when in fact I'm a total introvert). I'm not very good at meeting people and I'm not the type who needs to be around others all the time, but I do love the information, resources and connections that you can get from "networking" (lol, am I allowed to use that word in highschool?). Things like that. So, I know what I enjoy. But I don't know what I'm good at? Oh, I'm good at "creative writing". And asking lots of questions. </p>

<p>Things like that that I cannot link to any sort of career. I swear, if asking questions could be a career, I'd be all set.</p>

<p>The only thing that has ever really pulled my interest in was Advertising. I was excited about the CONCEPT, but I do not like the REALITY of it (that I know), so I plan on joining the school's advertising club to learn more about it, but...</p>

<p>My mom keeps saying do medical. She says it doesn't matter what kind of medicine. That there is all sorts of medicine. All that matters is that I DO do the MCAT and apply for med school.</p>

<p>I'm probably going to do this. I'm only doing it because I have nothing else to do. I feel like a twig that is taking the "good stream" because every other twig says its the good stream and I don't care which one I go.</p>

<p>The only thing I really care about is philosophy and advertising, course wise. What scares me is that I also plan on doing internships or co-ops or research and I MUST study abroad at least ONCE (my personal goal. The kind that I will "die" if I don't do it :P). If things go as I'm planning, I'd like to intern abroad for a summer or two. This is scary because I fear my parents will be a major opposition. "What does this have to do with medicine?" "What's the point of that? Just go to school and get a high GPA for grad school!" </p>

<p>You know why I "must" do medicine? Because I'm foreign.
It's the safest bet.</p>

<p>I always oppose my parents (by asking them questions), but I never asserted anything because I have nothing to assert. I feel that since I have nothing to stand for, I am weak. Therefore, I am very liable to give in to what my parents say. Even if they say no study abroad. As a young child, I gave into what they said and I hated myself for it. I vowed to never do it again with out at least questioning what they want and what I want. But I have nothing else to ask my parents. I only have 10 tons of questions for myself...
**
So parents, professionals, and other students... what do you think? Has anyone ever been in a situation like this? Does anyone have any advice for figuring out my "life calling"? Can someone give me a parents' point of view on this issue? Does someone have information about studying medicine and the field that I would find helpful?**</p>

<p>I'd just hate to study for 10 years... be 40 years old and be like "Oh, hell! I wish I had spent more time toward becoming a ______!" I can't imagine that I'd find working in a hospital as rewarding as I imagine working for an ad campaign. :/</p>

<p>Oh, P.S. I've signed my major as computer science. I put computer science because
a) I wanted to do something different than all the other Nigerian kids. I suppose it was an act of rebellion
b) But I'm a horrible rebel because I should have put Philosophy. Hehe. I wanted to be practical at the same time
c) I felt a degree in computer science will have more open doors than anything else.</p>

2

<p>Computer Science is a great field (both of my D's are majoring in it) but it takes a lot of work to attain and is probably one of the more rigorous majors to pursue. If you're not really interested in it and just putting it down as a default, you may have a hard time sticking with it once the work hits big time (usually right away). At most schools there's a big attrition rate in engineering and people are weeded out either because they can't handle the workload or discover they don't want to handle the work or that they don't like the subject.</p>

<p>I can't imagine going into the medical field without quite a bit of desire and interest in it since it simply requires too much time, effort, dedication, and money to get to the point of being an MD without the desire.</p>

<p>I'd never pressure my kids into the medical field (or any other). This is their life - they need to figure out what they want to do and pursue it. I'm willing to offer guidance and provide some practical facts to them but ultimately it's up to them to decide what they want.</p>

<p>If you're really not sure what you want you can always change your mind a couple of times once in college like a lot of students do. You can even do it if you start out as a CS major and just decide you don't like it (but it's best done in the first year).</p>

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<p>I agree with the dad above--please don't (well he didn't really say this) do medicine unless you truly have a passion for it. You will be miserable and so will those in your care. There are just too many hoops to jump through both getting the MD and then again actually out in practice to do this if it is not a personally rewarding career for you.</p>

<p>I have to admit, when I started reading your post, I thought this person sounds like they would be great in academics. You love learning, you love teaching, you love meeting new people. Study what you love and then go from there. I do think college is the time to explore your options and your interests.</p>

<p>I have a son who is doing the pre-med prereqs as of now--but he is not totally sure that is what he wants to do. He is planing to do more medical work, shadowing and is going to select majors that leave other doors open and that expose him to other areas where he can explore interests.</p>

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<p>Could you study medical ethics? How to provide health care to people in different culture and economic sprectra? There are many questions to be asked.</p>

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<p>^^^Good idea. Bioethics is a big upcoming field--at least that is what a couple of professors have told my son.</p>

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<p>Yeah, but you don't need to go to medical school to do medical ethics. If you do go for an MD, you have to do exactly the same thing as anyone else who want to practice medicine. So the same advice applies-do not go the medical school unless you want to be a doctor.</p>

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<p>I was wondering, what are you doing now? Are you in college? About to enter college? If you're just starting college, you don't need to pledge yourself to a particular major or path yet. Take a variety of courses and see what you like and what you're good at. Check out your career counseling center and make an appointment to talk through your interests and your parents' interests with someone there. Remember that pre-med isn't a major, so you can take pre-med courses to satisfy your parents while majoring in something that interests you. Once you've graduated, you'll likely be financially independent, and you can pursue whatever career or grad school you want. You'll be able to show your parents that you are happy, successful, and respected in some other field.</p>

<p>Bioethics: Look up Leon Kass and read some interviews with him. He's conservative, thoughtful, and well-spoken. He's an MD, but I'm not sure he ever practiced medicine.</p>

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<p>"saying do medical"</p>

<p>as if it were that easy..... </p>

<p>And Passion is another over used and implied term. A passion for medicine won't get you in or make you better. You have to know your stuff. I had a passion for soccer and basketball, neither passion led me to pro ball.</p>

<p>Talk with the business department a bit, it sounds like you'd enjoy it. </p>

<p>However, one thing to keep in mind, you can change your mind at any time. The first year to two years of college are time getting the basics out of the way and researching opportunities. Not everybody who "knows" all their lives what they are going to do... gets to. OR even cares after awhile.</p>

<p>As far as reflections of what you could have or should have done differently... well welcome to the daddy pants club. Everybody has a regret here or there.</p>

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<p>A person like you would do very well in hospitality management 9a verygrowing field). You could also do well in law school or international business with your interests and personality. Have you taken a career assessment/personality profile? There are some good ones available on the web, or ask the counseling office at your school.</p>

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<p>mkm56,
Just out of curosity, what majors is your S considering?</p>

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<p>From a physician parent- relax, don't worry about parental pressure to become a physician (we tell people our son is too smart to become a physician when asked). Take courses leading to a major in the fields you like. By the time you would take the MCAT you will be able to tell your folks you don't have the required courses to get into medical school, but, look, you are poised to get into grad/professional school/get a good paying job in your chosen field. Go ahead and include a philosophy course in next year's schedule. It is typical for immigrant parents to want a standard, prestigious job for their children; quietly circumventing their goals for you at this point is a good tactic. Present them with the viable alternative once you have been in college long enough to know what works best for you and you have the information to back up your decision. Good luck.</p>

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<p>You mentioned that you enjoy asking questions, traveling, and meeting new people. Have you ever considered anthropology? There are so many different types; you could go to another country and study a culture, or you can stay in the US and work for a company to advise them on how to best market their product to different demographics (which could tie in your interest in Advertising). I think a dual Advertising/Anthropology major would be very attractive to prospective employers and would give a plethora of options.</p>

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<p>wolfpiper, right now his problem is that there are too many in which he is interested. As of this moment he is biology and psychology. He would like to pick up a minor in cognitive science. However, he also loves exercise science and the idea of business school intrigues him. Too many majors, too little time!</p>

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<p>STUDY PHILOSOPHY! And take a lot of computer science classes! This: </p>

<p>Learning about other cultures and languages. Traveling. Teaching people something new/unorthodox. Simplifying things for others. Making plans for others. Gaining insight from others</p>

<p>Do some research about usability engineering, or functional design. People in these fields plan and design websites that are intuitive for users, and use the web, an impersonal medium, to educate, inspire and guide people. </p>

<p>Here's an old but classic outline of the whole world of usability engineering: <a href="http://www.useit.com/jakob/useengbook.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.useit.com/jakob/useengbook.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Philosophers, anthropologists, and linguists can be very insightful in this kind of work, as they have been trained in metacognition and can "see" things outside of their own reality.</p>

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<p>Personally, don't think you have the makeup for a doctor, your thinking is very global and you would feel suffocated, honestly, from reading your post I could see you as an academic. Your inquisitive, insightful, and very much ethereal. </p>

<p>After personally choosing a career that I dislike after 20 years, loved what it was no longer because what it now is, if I could start all over again? I would do what I could spend countless hours never looking at a clock and get paid for it, to me, that would be ideal. I have a high school friend that did a lot of camping with his family when he was a child, they went all over the US. Now, he has a Phd in environmental science, playing with frogs, studying them, the effects of the environment on amphibians. Took a childhood passion, spends his time doing what he loves, and gets a paycheck. That is what it is all about. Find what makes you tick.</p>

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<p>Let your mother say what she wants. It's your life, not hers. You may feel completely lost right now- it's absolutely normal!!! People change thier minds all the time and go back and forth between ideas. Sometimes you will meet students who are very sure of themselves on what they want to do but they will do a 180 turn on their life plans after an amazing experience on a trip, in a class, or abroad, or wherever they find their epiphany (like me...). Some still go on and on without figuring out what they want to do- perhaps they haven't explored enough or they really are just lost. Nonetheless, that calling will come one day- just let it come to you!</p>

<p>Take those philosophy classes. Figure out which language you want to pursue for study abroad. Keep an ear out for travel opportunitites (classes, seminars, organizations (particular the Debate Society/Club)). Get out in the community to meet new people- the campus will get old. </p>

<p>Also, you don't have to always say "be a doctor" when people ask you what you want to do in front of your parents. Change your answer each time- drive your parents nuts :) Be absurd! People won't really care- they're just looking for a conversational topic.</p>

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<p>" I'm only doing it because I have nothing else to do." -- I can't think of a worse reason to go to medical school.</p>

<p>The only people that should consider that pass are the ones that think that they REALLY-REALLY-REALLY want to do this, and can't imagine being happy doing anything else.</p>

<p>“I'd just hate to study for 10 years... be 40 years old and be like "Oh, hell! I wish I had spent more time toward becoming a ______!"</p>

<p>Based on your post, that’s exactly how you’ll probably feel, and on top of that you’ll be some $200,000 in dept…</p>

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<p>Honestly folks, a person doesn't have to be rainman to choose medicine. You can have a dynamic person interested in many things become an md. As I posted eariler a passion doesn't necessarily mean a career and a passion doesn't necessarily last. </p>

<p>As I pack my kid off to med school this fall, I don't think of him as a single minded individual only able to follow his "calling" or his "passion" for medicine. I see an individual who can do anything he sets his mind to while still not becoming so narrow of focus that he can't see the forest for the trees. </p>

<p>I actually find it a bit offensive when people overuse these terms. I know they mean well and it's a form of a compliment, but it also a backhanded one.</p>

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<p>I actually find myself agreeing a little with Opie. This particular comment is really quite offensive to all the MDs out there who are global, inquisitive, and insightful:
[quote]
Personally, don't think you have the makeup for a doctor, your thinking is very global and you would feel suffocated, honestly, from reading your post I could see you as an academic. Your inquisitive, insightful, and very much ethereal.

[/quote]
</p>

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<p>
[quote]
You can have a dynamic person interested in many things become an md.

[/quote]

Of course this is true. Doctors are people too and have interests and talents as varied as any other profession. </p>

<p>The point I was trying to make is that it takes a lot of time, work, and money to become an MD so if one doesn't have a fairly strong desire to become one they'll likely not really end up there or won't be very happy on their way.</p>