<p>Wife and I went to company dinner last night. On our table, there are two more couples who are high ranking managers and our VP with his HS junior son. Since each of us has HS school age children, our conversation changed to the college thing really quickly. </p>
<p>One couple was very happy that their children are in the Flag State school (below #110 in US news ranking). Another one talked about how great their HS junior DD is, using how much mails they are getting from al these school. Turns out, she has a 190ish PSAT. </p>
<p>Cross my heart, I used everything I learn from CC. I did not mention any thing about the 10 APs, and 800 SAT II, and our DD's decent ACT. Once they learnt that we have a HS senior, they kept asking where will her go to school. I only mention that she is in the honor at our State U. at the beginning. One guy kept asking, what other schools are you considering? So I gave them the list, starting from Harvard etc. We only talked about shopping after that.</p>
<p>On our drive home, I told my DW, we should be really proud of our kids. We may not think Honor at a well known State U is a big thing. To probably a high percentage of american families, it may be really huge. It is all about expectations. At the end of the day, a solid education from a good state U is more than just enough for a good living in US.</p>
<p>You go Dad II. I applaud your commitment to defining a culture tof your own, in which your culture of origin and the culture in which you are raising your children are both respected.</p>
<p>Great story there! You and DW get an award for tolerance, mutual respect and diversity! I hope the food was good ;)
I would say, "Let a thousand flowers bloom" but I'm not wild about the source (Chairman Mao...)</p>
<p>"Cross my heart, I used everything I learn from CC. I did not mention any thing about the 10 APs, and 800 SAT II, and our DD's decent ACT." ...from CC? Isn't this common sense not to brag about that? Well, anyway, kudos for being tactful. And many students are delighted to be in their State U whether it's for academics, school spirit, or cost effectiveness. Honors programs rock!</p>
<p>DADII,
I read a couple of your posts last night and was briefing my H on them this morning over coffee. My parents are immigrants from China and, not having the opportunity to attend college, they labored hard and long so their four children would receive college degrees. "Back in the day" we were steered toward our large state university...and that's where we all went. When it came time for our own children, my H and I chose a totally different path...and not without skepticism and commentary from both sides of the family. It was not easy but living a driving distance of 40 min from the closest relative definitely helped! ;) Having already invested a small fortune in her pre-college education, H & I looked at each other when D1 chose to attend a very small LAC back east. His response was, "We have to. She earned it." This was over 3 yrs ago...today, she is a senior and will be graduating as a chem major with a minor in east asian studies. During the last 3 yrs, D1 has (among other things) received two summer research internships, TA'd gen chem, TA'd organic chem, and tutored a local high student in chem. She has already heard from one doctoral program...it was an acceptance. I am convinced that the mentoring, education, and friendships she has made are invaluable and spurred her on to realize these achievements...and allowed her to find her passion. Who would have thought? No one else in the two families had EVER heard of that college. When acquaintances asked "where," it was always followed with "where's that?" But, looking back, it was a PERFECT fit. D1 was the last student in her senior class to select her college...but, she made the right choice...for her.</p>
<p>We are going through the admissions process with D2. Her list looks totally different from D1's. However, she is interested in engineering within a liberal arts education. There is never a dull moment...and always something to learn. Best of luck to you...</p>
<p>my s is in an honors program at our good state U. He was an excellent student in hs and had his choice among a number of good privates. We don't even mention the honors part when asked - only if pressed for lots of details. Or perhaps I might mention it if I get a comment like...wow how could he go to such a huge place??</p>
<p>Dad II: "One couple was very happy that their children are in the Flag State school (below #110 in US news ranking)."<br>
Not everyone is obsessed with US News rankings. Most state schools are just fine. Just because they aren't Harvard et al doesn't mean that they are bad. I think you'd be surprised how few Americans really know / care about the US News ratings. The ones who do are all here :-).</p>
<p>"Another one talked about how great their HS junior DD is, using how much mails they are getting from al these school. Turns out, she has a 190ish PSAT. "
Yes, and? Can't she indeed be a great girl? Are her PSAT scores the measure of her? </p>
<p>"On our drive home, I told my DW, we should be really proud of our kids. We may not think Honor at a well known State U is a big thing. To probably a high percentage of american families, it may be really huge."</p>
<p>What is it about your culture that socializes you in this way? Seriously. I'm a US News top 20 grad myself but it's not the be-all and end-all. Why is the Asian culture so into prestige? </p>
<p>Whenever my husband and I get too uppity about what schools we might want to send our two teenagers to, this is what serves as a good reminder:
His father attended a second-tier school, my father dropped out of high school, got a GED and later attended classes through the GI Bill ... and both of them were successful enough in the working world to put their children through a US News Top 20 school, full ride. So the school isn't everything -- hard work is really the key, regardless of where you go.</p>
<p>many posters here seem to think Harvard/Yale are the only 2 colleges worth attending. Some think this despite the recent tarnish on Harvard's rep. And please don't get me wrong, I am sure they are both fine schools. My point would be that they are not the only way to go.
Most agree U.S. News is a great way to begin ones' search for the right college. I believe however, that their benefit ends there. The real world doesn't rank potential job applicants as #1, #2, or as #5 of tier 2, #6 of tier 3, or as "best of the south", etc. To me it even seems laughable picturing an H.R. guy interviewing an applicant then writing on someone's resume "#4 of tier 2".
I have always likened it to asking who is the best NFL player today? Clearly there is no one right answer. Tom Brady can sure throw a pass, but he doesn't tackle well. Mike Strahan sure can rush the passer, but he can't cover a wide receiver well, and so on.
No doubt there can be some name recognition that can be a plus with better known schools. Many people have heard of The Ohio State, USC, Texas A&M, and Virginia Tech. to throw out examples of big names, or names in the news. Some bring fame- good or bad to their schools, but most college grads just live what is considered a quiet life. I think just go to a school where the cost is justifiable, thats a good match, try your best, and good things will happen.</p>
<p>Hanging out on these boards gives you a warped view of reality. Just check out the "You Get What You Paid For" thread. While many do a good job of describing their individual efforts to find a good match for their children - there are also those who dismiss most state schools as inferior - even to the point of comparing them to Wendy's or Taco Bells.
Many public schools offer excellent educational opportunities - high schools AND colleges. And they can be a good value too. Some privates fit that description as well. Why so much angst? Why is it necessary for some folks to feel superior? Let's all count our many blessings and be proud that our sons and daughters are healthy and happy.</p>
<p>The Wendy's and Taco Bell analogies are one thing- the characterization of public university professors as short order hamburger flippers and the students as drunken sots at a sports bar are a little over the top. And people wonder where the impressions of snottiness, superiority, and elitism come from.</p>
<p>"What is it about your culture that socializes you in this way?"</p>
<p>I never thought of this as a cultural issue. I scratch my head over the way that otherwise kind and considerate human beings feel the need to put others down, either anonymously or face to face.</p>
<p>Take the college debate out of the equation- let's say we're debating whether my Escalade is better than your Corolla. Need I remind you repeatedly? What goes on in my head that I feel motivated to do this? I think there would have to be two conditions- first, I have a competitive drive that compels me to make contests about things that are not contests, and second, I have a nagging insecurity that maybe you don't realize my car is better, so I have to tell you again and again. No, I don't think it has anything to do with ethnic background.</p>
<p>"Why is the Asian culture so into prestige?"</p>
<p>With the prestige issue, at least in China, there is a huge emphasis on rankings. Students in elementary school begin preparing for the high school entrance exams in the hopes they can get into the top rank high schools. Once in high schools, they study for the university entrance exam, so they can get into top ranked universities. I don't know what the situation in China is like now, but during my parents' time, those who attended top tier universities were essentially guaranteed well-paid, well-respected jobs. </p>
<p>I think the mentality of "needing" to attend a top school isn't so much for the parents to brag about where their son/daughter is going (although admittedly that does come into play) but stems the belief that attending a top school will guarantee their child an easier life.</p>
<p>
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What is it about your culture that socializes you in this way? Seriously. I'm a US News top 20 grad myself but it's not the be-all and end-all. Why is the Asian culture so into prestige?
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<p>What is it about American culture that causes us to pin down people so bombastically, after someone has just shared a pleasant and interesting story?</p>
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What is it about American culture that causes us to pin down people so bombastically...
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Umm...Speak for yourself, please. There are over 300 million Americans who represent a wide range of dispositions & ideas about what constitutes acceptable behavior and tone. It is offensive to me that you would classify my culture as bombastic.</p>
<p>I am sorry. I was trying to pop a hole in what I perceived as an unfair and overgeneralized attack on Asian culture, stated explicitly in post # 9.</p>
<p>I'm not Asian but felt free to protest the tone of post #9. I WAS speaking for myself, then and now. </p>
<p>Point taken about the diversity of American culture. Civil discourse is akso a prized American value-- or is that too general?</p>
<p>Let me try to say it this way: posts that include phrases like, "why do you people...do X, Y, or Z..." reduce people to cultural stereotypes. No one person can answer for individual or family behaviors within his/her entire culture or ethnicity. But as you say, we can each speak for ourself!</p>