I was expelled from college the first week of my sophomore year. I was caught with over an ounce of marijuana in my dorm room, along with a small amount of xanax and some illegal paraphernalia. My criminal charges were dismissed and for the time being I’m working part time and waiting to enroll in classes at a community college. Part of the reason why I’m posting this here is because I’m looking for input from others who’ve gone through a similar situation or just general thoughts and advice. But I also just feel like I need to type this out to vent. It might sound melodramatic but I honestly feel like my life is falling apart, I’ve become very secluded and depressed since this happened. I don’t know what kind of future I’ll have due to this stupid mistake I made.
I was planning on double majoring in finance and accounting, and perhaps transferring from my average university (ranked ~150) to a more prestigious university. Now that dream is shattered and my goal is to enroll in a community college and transfer to a school of the same tier as my original university. To me this is very depressing because I spent kindergarten through 12th grade in various selective enrollment programs, I always got good test scores and grades but because being in possession of a harmless plant is apparently a mortal sin my future is now practically ruined. I’m also now in debt for a semester which I got no credit for and my family cannot afford to pay for my schooling.
Again sorry for being so melodramatic but please share your thoughts if you have any.
Although I’ve always been critical of the military, I’ve been seriously considering enlisting as a result of this whole situation, of course being expelled for drugs probably ruins my chances. I guess I’ll just be working in some shitty retail job the rest of my life…
Hey, I’m sorry for what you’re going through. Just know, and I mean the most sincerely, your life is not ruined. You’ll look back at this mistake one day and it’ll be a good story to tell.
If I were you I too would seriously be considering the military. Navy or Air Force. Enlist for a while to prove you’ve “changed” and watch colleges and jobs come to you. Good luck
@Agorist your life is, by no means, ruined, but you are suffering the consequences of some bad choices that you made. If you sincerely want to turn things onto a positive trajectory, you are first going to have to admit to yourself that what you did is considered wrong and illegal, by the college you were expelled from as well as society in general. The substances you had in your possession are illegal and controlled substances.
Criminal charges were dropped, and for that you are very fortunate. You might consider doing some type of drug treatment, maybe a 12 step program, to explore your relationship with drugs and show commitment to a different path. This approach combined with doing well in community college may lead to more open doors than you feel are available at this time. Whether it’s a similar tier college, a higher ranked school, the military (don’t knock it, it’s an amazing opportunity for many) or some other road that is not clear to you at the moment, you can recover from this situation. It won’t be instantaneous, it is going to take time and commitment to a better way.
In one sentence you say " I don’t know what kind of future I’ll have due to this stupid mistake I made."
then you write
“being in possession of a harmless plant is apparently a mortal sin my future is now practically ruined.”
You need to get your head on straight before deciding on a course of action regarding your education.
The past is done and 20 years of your life will pass like a vapor. You can have an amazing life, don’t waste your shot.
Get your act together and cultivate discipline, focus and honesty in dealing with your issues.
I would consider doing some volunteer work to get some perspective and inspiration.
When you see what someone who has a lifelong handicap or infirmity achieve something great you will realize how lucky you are, even with all that’s happened.
Thanks for all the replies. @GMTplus7 go figure, I would join the airforce if they’d let me but I guess I’ll forget about that. And I know I’m exaggerating it’s just how I feel at the moment going through this.
@NorthernMom61 of course what I did was illegal and stupid, but I’m sorry there’s no way I’m gonna lie to myself and say it’s wrong, and I don’t want to turn this thread into an argument about cannabis . But I haven’t heard of anyone at my former university getting expelled for underage drinking, or even fighting.
From your responses it seems like my plan to go to community college and transfer to a 4 year is the best option I have now. @Ultrahumanite volunteering is a good idea I’ll look into that
@Agorist your confidentiality is protected, as is the confidentiality of anyone else who gets expelled for underaged drinking, fighting or any other infraction that is an expellable offense. So you don’t know what the consequences are for others. It’s unlikely that others like yourself who have been expelled are going to run around and brag about it. Besides, whether or not anyone else gets in trouble or not has no bearing on the fact that you did. And my views about marijuana actually have nothing to do with my recommendations to you. Marijuana and other illegal drug use is clearly against the rules at your school (and I would venture to guess at every college or university in our country), and you broke the rule and got caught.
The fact that no criminal charges were made is to your benefit. You can lament what you have lost as the result of your bad choices, or you can pull up your bootstraps and make healthier choices that are not illegal from this day forward, and repair the damage that you have done. This may actually be a gift to you and your life in disguise.
I understand that recreational drug use is common among college students and though I have no personal experience, it must be quite fun when used in moderation, or people wouldn’t be drawn to it. However, whenever you are using an illegal substance you are doing something ILLEGAL. In that case you are taking your chances and there are consequences for being caught. Further, alcohol and drug use does have away of ruining lives, killing people, and costs our country a great deal of money.
You have asked for advice and received some good ideas already. But, not many adults who post here or in your everyday life are going to tell you that drugs are okay.
@NorthernMom61 yea I’m just talking about the people I know personally, of course nobody goes around bragging about getting expelled but if a friend gets expelled you know. I do appreciate any advice or thoughts though and I know I made a stupid mistake which I’ve learned from. I have cut down on my use significantly and would never make the same mistake again
@AboutTheSame thanks for those links, since my charges were dismissed it looks like maybe I would be able to enlist.
You can very likely enlist if you get clean and stay clean. The US military is an amazing opportunity for some people and the Pose 911 GI Bill is a sweet deal for paying for a college education. Good luck to you.
If you join the military do not lie about anything. The lie is worse than the pot. There are a lot of threads about the military ( and colleges) on reddit.
It doesn’t really matter whether or not pot SHOULD be legal. At the time you possessed it, it was NOT. When we choose to break the law, we choose to bear the consequences. Like protesters who are willing to go to jail for holding a sit-in or trespassing onto private property to make their point. Maybe pot should be legal, but hey, what’s the point of stopping at a stop sign in the middle of the night when you can clearly see that there is no other driver anywhere around? Their isn’t, except that it is the law, and not stopping means the risk of a fine and points on your license.
The only way you are going to succeed in life is to drop the chip off your shoulder and stop complaining about laws you feel are stupid or the fact that you think you got a bum rap from the school. It happened - and you were VERY LUCKY not to have been sent to court. Focus on that positive note. You have a fresh start, even though you are starting from a crappy position.
Go to a CC ( and, yes, you will have to always report the expulsion) and make the most of things. Don’t join the military unless you really want to serve - unhappy enlisted people are the bane of people who truly want to be there.If you go in resentful of why you have to be there, or having to follow rules that you don’t see any point to (like the pot legality) you will be miserable and risk dishonorable discharge which would really mess up your life.
You can go to a CC and transfer to a top-level school, like UC Berkeley for example. Going to a cc actually makes transferring easier, so you can get into better schools.
Plus, if you go to CC you can defer your student loans while you’re in school.
It definitely seems like the best option. You’ll save money in college too, since it’s cheaper, and when you transfer back to a 4-year you can finish your degree requirements in 2 years.
Your future certainly isn’t ruined. You don’t even have to go to college to be successful. If you’re interested in business, you could consider entrepreneurship.
Anyway, don’t for a minute thing your outlook is bleak. It’s not. No one really cares (aside from certain opinionated people on college confidential, apparently) about an ounce of weed and some xanax.
Your schools won’t know, so forget about it.
Follow your passion. Community college is awesome. I went to CC and graduated Phi Beta Kappa from Berkeley, so I’m just saying, you can totally do this and keep your goals for the future in tact, maybe even polish them a little.
@Agorist The nation as a whole is sending a lot of mixed signals about pot. A lot of young people are reading these signals as saying that smoking pot is just fine, to the point that they are reckless in leaving it around their dorm room. Well, you now know that in at least the state where you were attending college, it is not “fine.”
Your life isn’t over. I suspect you can join the military if you want to. You can apply to another college, or maybe just go to a community college for one year and then try to transfer somewhere. No, you will not go to Harvard, but there are plenty of good schools out there.
I am not a particularly religious person, but the Bible says God works through all things for good. On a personal level I have had some terrible things happen to me that have, over time, turned out just fine. You may not believe it now, but this could be something that you may look back on as one of the best things that ever happened to you. It really depends on what choices you make from now. Just make the best of things, start making some better choices, and I assure you that your life will be just fine.
This is not something that “happened to you.” It’s a direct result of the choices you made. I think that the first step in putting things together is that realization.
OK, as to what to do next: what path do you WANT to take? Where do you see yourself in 5 or 10 years? What would you like to be doing with your life?
The criminal charges were dismissed, so there’s really nothing holding you back. Stop and think of the path you want. Don’t jump at the military simply because it’s the right option-- once you commit it’s pretty hard to change your mind.
Take a deep breath, maybe hold off on any decisions until after the holidays-- it’s too hectic right now to come to any concrete solutions. But explore your options with a calm, anger free head.
I’m not trying to making any excuses for what I did. I knew the risk involved and I take full responsibility for my actions. You guys are right I can just go to CC and transfer to a decent university.
The Airforce will go into any drug use during the background check.
If you want military experience you can join the French Foreign Legion, as long as you don’t have a serious criminal record they’ll give you a shot. You can enlist at any of the 12(?) recruiting centers they have in France, if you pass the training it’s a 5 year contract with one of the most well respected armies in the world.
@Agorist
Also thought I’d throw it out there, the Russian Army recruits foreigners now, along with a number of the all-volunteer brigades in Ukraine (Such as A3OB) although they’re being integrated into the Ukrainian National Guard, ohh there’s also foreign enlistment slots with the Army in Singapore I believe (you’ll have to double check that one).
If you’re set on Community College though, all the best to you!
I went to CC and graduated Phi Beta Kappa from Berkeley, so I’m just saying, you can totally do this and keep your goals for the future in tact, maybe even polish them a little.