Just got back from a two day visit to Skidmore and D bought the sweatshirt 
I am very happy to have this process over with. I could never have predicted the stress that would ensue over the past year. I knew that we would have to search for merit aid. I also knew that we could have foregone any college research, applied to UMAmherst and have been done with it but D really didnāt want to go there. Our goal was accomplished ~ we spread a wide net hoping that another affordable option would increase choices. D was accepted to several schools that turned out affordable. Of those, four made the last list, one of which should not have: Smith. It was not affordable. It was not a good fit IMHO. But the perceived āeliticismā swayed D and her father into wanting it more than they should have. I was the voice of reason.
D had visited Skidmore a year ago against my advice. I told her I didnāt believe the school would provide the financial aid she would need. When it came time to apply, she asked if I would pay the app fee for Skidmore and I again stated my opinion that it was money thrown out the window but she insisted (on two other schools as well) and I relented. The package from Skidmore came last minute and was a complete surprise. I had totally forget that she applied. When we opened the award letter, I just about fell over.
In the meantime, D was accepted at many schools but waitlisted at all her top choices and rejected at her reaches. To say we were dismayed with the results would be an understatement. We are both humbled by this process. But, that wide net was supposed to provide a school or two on the list with a price that would make all the effort and $$ worthwhileā¦Skidmore did that. When I spoke to their finaid today, her exact words were āwe very much want Alex to attend here and will make sure it is financially feasible for the four years. Except in the event of winning the lottery, I can assure you that we will do everything we can to keep the price affordableā. I couldnāt ask for more.
I have wanted her to choose a school that wasnāt too competitive, a school where she was a big fish in a small pond. She has some anxiety issues which she chooses to ignore but I see the signs and they make me nervous sometimes. I want her to be challenged but I want to her have some balance, something sorely lacking in the last four years as an IB diploma candidate. I truly believe that Skidmore is the right choice but I couldnāt push it. Its the right choice academically for her and financially for me.
After doing the science tour and spending several hours with a host student taking classes, having lunch, etc., I am happy to report that she asked me to meet her at the bookstore to buy THE SWEATSHIRT!
I wish I could say the stress will end here but it wonāt. Now I still have her bio Dad to deal with, the $$ issue is a bit different now in that the cost isnāt prohibitive but there will still be some negotiation necessary and I believe he is going to make waves regardless of what the situation and honestly, Iām not sure what his reaction is going to be when he finds out the decision has been made. She did buy him a tshirt that says āSkidmore Dadā. My father, her favorite person in the world got a tshirt āYaleā¦for those who canāt go to Skidmoreā. I thought that was comical LOL.
Thank you everyone for all your support and best wishes.