Extent of social life problems?

Colleges and Universities A-Z Columbia University
1

<p>I've read some of the threads on this board, and I've seen a lot of posters complain about the social life being fragmented by NYC unless one is a member of a frat, athletic team, or "major EC." What constitutes a major activity? If I were to be a member of 2-3 student groups, say 1-2 publications and 1 other club, would that be enough to counter the difficulty in making/keeping friends at Columbia? If it helps at all, I'd say I'm split even between extroversion and introversion. </p>

<p>Thanks for your help. ;)</p>

2

<p>No one, really? Those other threads had a lot of responses.</p>

3

<p>Columbia will be totally fine for you and it sounds like you are a good fit. Columbia has lots of smaller groups that are very active. Most of the social life complaints center around the overall campus not being as active as other schools. If you are into your ECs and are comfortable with a groups of close people you will love Columbia. There are lots of opportunities to make friends starting with your freshman hall. I think those of us that are a little cold on Columbia’s social life admittedly were looking for a big time social scene. That isn’t there, but small groups of friends are everywhere.</p>

4

<p>I’m hesitant to respond because my experience here is pretty skewed, as is everyone’s. I just think that the average social life revolves around bars and some fraternity parties. The area is pretty densely packed so don’t expect a vibrant campus life, that is undergraduates make up a tiny portion of the campus and city itself so it’s not as if you’ll be running into everyone. Weekends are also noticeably dead because students tend to go downtown more. </p>

<p>I think other alumni have had some pretty good experiences so they can speak to more of what they did on a weekly basis. I think the weekdays are pretty fragmented socially, not meeting up with too many people because of classes and work, even late at night because there are not many places on campus. I remember when I worked over the summer with a couple friends, we’d all come back to the suite and spend a lot of time just chilling out there. It’s hard to get a suite so 115-130 sf singles and crowded common areas (if you even have one) tend to cramp the social life. </p>

<p>It depends on what you mean as a major EC. First, you almost always need to be on the board of the organization to really be involved socially. Even then, there are several really active student organizations on campus which revolved around cultural groups. I think a solid chunk of your friend group comes from your freshman year floor and how you branch out from there. But as evidenced by alma mater, truazn, and myself, we felt that the campus lacked a cohesive community. There’s not really 1 event that all students know about any given weekend so we’re loosely affiliated with each other. The Chinese Students Club and the Asian frats do their own thing, the central fraternities do their own thing, and various groups go out into the city or host EC events for their groups. None of this is really advertised, except the clubbing events or the occasional huge party, most of it is low key and a “who you know” affair. My biased view and I hope that others jump in to share their points of view.</p>

5

<p>I’ve responded to this so many times that I’ll just link you to some of my other posts:</p>

<p><a href=“Columbia (John jay scholar) vs Dartmouth vs Duke - College Search & Selection - College Confidential Forums”>Columbia (John jay scholar) vs Dartmouth vs Duke - College Search & Selection - College Confidential Forums;

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-search-selection/1121041-columbia-v-upenn-v-washu-v-northwestern-2.html#post12361976[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-search-selection/1121041-columbia-v-upenn-v-washu-v-northwestern-2.html#post12361976&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p><a href=“Princeton vs. Columbia: Engineering - Columbia University - College Confidential Forums”>Princeton vs. Columbia: Engineering - Columbia University - College Confidential Forums;

<p>basically I disagree with Beard Tax on pretty much all counts, especially many of his assumptions about what you need to do to have a great time at Columbia. Beard makes it seem that you need to be extremely outgoing and happy with a small group of friends to enjoy the social scene. Practically no high school student wants to have a college experience like this and most Columbia students are positive on their experience. </p>

<p>For example, Beard says you need to part of a frat, athletic team or large organization and then says you need to be on the board of a large organization</p>

<p>a) I know people who are part of none and love their social life</p>

<p>b) In general, it definitely helps socially, to be involved somewhere with people who have common interests, being part of large organization is not a necessity.</p>

<p>c) Being on a board is a resume booster, but there is no causal link to your social life. Example: actors in the King’s Crown Shakespeare Troupe (medium sized acting group on campus) have a vibrant social life, they hang out together a lot after practices and on weekends, yet very few of them are titled leaders. </p>

<p>Beard, I’m not and never was part of the undergraduate recruitment committee, I happen to be quite skeptical and critical of Columbia, I openly criticize it. But I can’t deny that I cherished my 4 years there, made close friends and left better prepared for life outside a college campus than peers at other schools.</p>

6

<p>In a sense, beard tax’s characterization is accurate. There are many different niches at Columbia that don’t often interact with each other, i.e. the target audience of CSC/KSA vs. Tamasha vs. Notes & Keys/Non-Seq vs. King’s Crown is not going to be identical because everyone has different interests. If you are like beard tax, this lack of integration is going to be problematic, and you probably shouldn’t come here. </p>

<p>Whoever you are or whatever you might be interested in, I can assure you that you will find your niche. From the 40 people on your freshman year floor, to the people you meet during NSOP week or in the ten random EC’s/clubs you decide to check out because they sound interesting, it is nearly impossible to NOT find “your people”. (Note: obviously this requires you to have a good attitude about going out there and introducing yourself to new people - nobody is going to look out especially for you because they’re all trying to figure out where they fit too.)</p>

<p>There really is no stereotypical social experience at Columbia; it can be whatever you want it to be. I know people who have only a tight knit group of friends that are all very similar, and others who also have that core group but choose to branch out and expand their network to include as many connections as they care to (although the latter ones will obviously be more superficial). </p>

<p>The point is, regardless of your interests or even your preferences regarding the size of your social network, you will be able to tailor your social experience exactly to your liking - with one caveat. As long as you don’t try to force your various “interest groups” of friends to integrate and all be friends with each other (which sounds like the kind of experience that beard tax was hoping for), you should be fine. And just think about it - trying to integrate your different “interest groups” of friends is not going to be fruitful because everyone has different interests; if they wanted to hang out with each other they’d be doing so already. </p>

<p>(I’m not affiliated with any of the admissions/recruitment offices or groups either.)</p>

7

<p>@confidentialcoll</p>

<p>I think we’ve had different experiences given what paths we chose. I decided to be more academic in the beginning and I’m still playing a bit of catch-up to meet more people and have a good time. I think we can agree to disagree or at least point out that Columbia can be a polarizing experience, more so than other schools. For example, I’ve never met a Duke alum who has disliked the school, but my Columbia interviewer had almost nothing good to say about the institution except that he was able to get a good education. I pointed out the greatness of NYC and he responded with “Yeah…” (canary in the coal mine but my USNWR fueled mentality blinded me as to what I wanted in college, a cohesive campus life and student pride)</p>

<p>Let’s also keep in mind that you have above average optimism for Columbia, even coming back to visit campus, conducting HS interviews, and posting on this board. Let’s also keep in mind that I have below average optimism for Columbia, because I’m on this board telling HS students to reconsider matriculating given my experiences. </p>

<p>However, let’s not blind ourselves to the fact that Columbia can be quite bitter and pessimistic. Bwog definitely gives more agrees to negative comments than positive comments (anecdotal and also a bit self-selecting, who reads Bwog all the time except people on their computers not having fun). We may pride ourselves on being independent and having sardonic wit, but I feel there’s a strong undercurrent of pessimism and bitterness among undergraduates.</p>

<p>1) There’s a lack of space. Visit your friends in their rooms but how many people can you fit into one single?
2) The city is a bit overpowering. Where can you meet people? You get lost in the city almost once you step off campus.
3) 5 classes a semester is the norm. 6 is hard but doable, 4 is slacking, 3 makes you a part time student.</p>

8

<p>@ShruggingSheep</p>

<p>I agree that I’m looking for more of the party, get-to-know-everyone campus. I have a core group of friends that I hang out with, but I wouldn’t say I’m integrating different groups that I know. </p>

<p>My expectation in college was more so to have a group of friends and have more social interactions that involve parties or get-togethers in suites. This has not really been the case and I’d say that Columbia is a bar school. There aren’t that many open parties so it gets fragmented at times.</p>

<p>I’d say my biggest complaint is the lack of space. Sometimes I just want to kick back and watch a game with a couple friends or play some Xbox. The lounges are crowded or non-existent in a lot of dormitories and it can be hard to have that one place that’s private to kick back. It’s my personal preference and I can see that people who have a group of friends who like to go out would have more fun. Also, keep in mind there’s only so much you can do off-campus with your friends. It’s not an art show, bar-hopping, clubbing all the time. Sometimes, it’s more chill and fun to relax with a beer and watch some TV. I’d say that’s what I spent a lot of time doing at home in HS (w/o beer) and going out was occasional.</p>

9

<p>beard and i have gotten into enough tussles, so I am not discounting his opinion, just saying very simply that it was not my experience, and the OP can decide from there.</p>

<p>things i did on a weekly basis (i have since graduated). i talk about things in spurts, but i feel it necessary to post all my various affiliations down here just to kind of dispel the myth that a) columbia is bad for everyone (it was awesome for me), b) give some clarity to what life was like for one student.</p>

<p>1) I joined a Fraternity, which ended up being sort of like an oasis from school. It was a constant source of free parties, recreation (pool/intramural sports/xbox) and a place to hang out. I went by the frat house once a week.</p>

<p>2) Club meetings. I was President of a club my senior year, so I ran club meetings, and did a lot of prep work for them. But almost always after the meeting would be over I’d go to JJ’s with some of the other board members to hang out and unwind. Or after especially long meetings, you would find us at someone’s suite creating an impromptu party.</p>

<p>3) Non-Affiliated friend’s suite. On a weekly basis I went over to one of my best friends suites for what always started off as pursuing some simple pleasures and always spilled either into going to the roof of Woodbridge or going to a bar. </p>

<p>4) Tuesday nights at the Heights. This was a tradition of mine. It wasn’t overpopulated by randoms, you could just hang out and have fun. This was usually me and a few folks I picked up randomly who also really didn’t fit into most friend groups, but we were all free on Tuesdays.</p>

<p>5) Clubbing friends. Sometimes the non-affiliated folk, those that were not really in any club or organization, would be part of my club friends and would want to go downtown. But this group was just sort of built around friends that like me wanted to have a good time and didn’t care that they had two left feet. I went out once every other week, and at least once a month to some club. By the end I split it between the dirtiest of dive places to the most opulent of MPD places.</p>

<p>6) Cultural groups. Being a minority on campus with a very large population of other minorities made it easy to find likeminded individuals, and folks who would show you something else. I was part of a cultural group myself and went to meetings and celebrations, but also ventured out and became close with individuals in Tamasha, CSC, BSO, AAA. To date the TASA end of the year party was the most fun party I’ve been to. And despite the appearance of balkanization of the groups, it really was not my experience. Most cultural groups were open to folks who were just curious about the culture to come by and hang out.</p>

<p>7) Home, and folks I lived with. In the end I rarely went out with the folks I lived with. Mostly because I liked quieter more chill places, where the TV was never monopolized, and always had a suite style living. They were the folks I hung out with on a daily basis, and had fun with cooking, watching tv, studying for class.</p>

<p>*A note on Mixing Groups. Shrugging makes the observation to try and not mix your friend groups. In general this may be true, but I think the difference really is you. I am very much the kind of person that is up for anything, so if a friend of mine from any of the above affiliations said hey come out with me and some people you have never met, I would say yes. I would have never learned about the TASA party if a friend of mine hadn’t asked me to come along, I wouldn’t have created my Tuesday night gathering if I hadn’t forced some folks that didn’t know each other well to come together. When I dated someone I became friends with their friends. I learned about my friend’s suite only because someone I had met in one of the clubs I was in invited me, and the guy whose suite it was became one of my best friends as a result. The group of folks that went out clubbing was built up by chance as well. </p>

<p>In the end your group of friends are going to require to some extent pushing and prodding to want to meet people (like in any situation), it is sometimes nerve wracking to enter into an unknown situation. Having social/openminded friends makes everything easier. But being social/open-minded yourself, asking your friend to take you a long to something different will change things.</p>

<p>A friend of mine likes to call this the network effect of going to Columbia. After being willing to attend any number of things - a swim meat, a fencing match, a soccer game, the Taal dance show - I met new people and made more friends. I felt in the end I had met most of the communities and sub-communities on campus. </p>

<p>A lot of folks may have noticed I often say “a friend of mine did X” and may eventually become skeptical. I hope the above clarifies I mean it when I say it.</p>

10

<p>And despite all of the above, I will add one thing. I tended to like to study by myself, I very much enjoyed walking the city alone. I wouldn’t say I may be as evenly split as the OP in the extroversion/introversion question (I’m clearly more on the extroverted side). But you can find spaces and ways to mend the both. No matter how many friends you have, the vast majority of time you spend in college will be alone. And in that regard, Columbia is a pretty unique place to experience everything.</p>

11

<p>Yeah, I didn’t mean to suggest that you shouldn’t try introducing friends from different groups to each other. You should definitely try to mix it up as admissionsgeek suggest, but you will be disappointed if you expect everyone you get along with to get along with each other. (This is just my personal experience - I have pretty diverse interests and the people from each of my friend groups don’t really get along too well.)</p>

12

<p>I think you’ll be fine. If you do Spec and, say, Quarto or bwog (I just pick those 'cause I know about them), you’ll make plenty of friends in addition to the ones you find on your floor, you’ll be invited to plenty of parties (I mean, not one every night, but if you really wanna drink, you’ll have friends to go to the heights/mel’s/1020 with), and you’ll make plenty of friends.</p>

<p>Also props for the NAK/Nonseq/KCST shoutout. OP should do one of those; they’re awesome (I’m not biased in the slightest, of course). Also 100% true that you don’t have to be on the board of KCST (King’s Crown Shakespeare Troupe) to hang out on a very regular basis. Also, they cast everyone in Spring Show, and that’s a great way to meet fun people and have something exciting to do every sunday and wednesday. In fact, especially among performing arts groups (and I imagine it’s similar with campus publications) being on the board is not necessary to spending time together at all. And you always make groups of friends within these larger groups, like KCST. I think the philolexian society is another good example of a group where the members become very close without requiring anyone to be on the board of anything.</p>

<p>So yeah, I think I’m just echoing everyone else (like I always am in these situations): if you want epic Animal House campus-wide parties that everyone goes to, that’s not going to happen at Columbia. If you just want, you know, friends, and something to do on the weekends besides hang out in your room, an ounce of proactivity will certainly get you that. </p>

<p>Also, I also consider myself sort of a midway introvert/extrovert, and I think that living in a suite is perfect for that. Granted, getting in a suite as a sophomore is tough now, but in general, you can usually live in a suite with friends at least junior and senior years and that’s really a lot of fun.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>I just want to point out that while you obviously consider these things negatives, many people would consider them positive. I mean, it’s cool that the city gives you an alternative to life with nothing but college kids you go to school with 24/7. For some people, it’s overwhelming. For others, it’s exhilarating. And as far as the classes thing goes, I like being able to explore different avenues, and it doesn’t feel as hard when everyone is going through the same thing. Also, in the immortal words of Varsity Show 114: everyone’s a passionate opposer. People bond at Columbia over how much we’re all suffering from being academic masochists. I made some of my best friends staying up until 4 am trying to finish a novel or something. It is true that four classes is like slacking around here, which is hilarious.</p>

<p>So, summary for the OP: To answer your question, yes. You’ll make and keep plenty of friends here with that sort of plan for extracurriculars.</p>

13

<p>My point about the city and the campus itself is that it can be extremely difficult to start making friends past your freshman year at Columbia. If you’re not interested in dance groups or cultural organizations or Greek life, there are few venues or events to meet more people. There’s Indian cooking clubs, study breaks, and other cultural events, but I’m talking about meeting people on the fields or in the lounges on random days. </p>

<p>That’s why I say the lack of space and density does not allow for the traditional college experience or that much mingling. There are a lot of people around the area and once your comfortable, people on campus don’t want to meet randoms, as admissionsgeek says.</p>

14

<p>Your posts exhaust me. You need to get off of CC and go meet the many positive Columbians who are on the steps and lawns right now. I’d be happy to have a leisurely lunch with you one day on South Field. Tell me when you are free! </p>

<p>It seems like you made the wrong choice in attending Columbia and most likely were a better fit somewhere else.</p>

15

<p>So true, beautifulday. My Columbia son is ecstatic to be there. He’s stretched far too thin socially, but wouldn’t have it any other way. He’s a second-semester sophomore, but continues to make new friends every day. He would explode if he had more social opportunities than he has. It’s all about the energy one is willing to invest.</p>

16

<p>

</p>

<p>sounds like me my junior and senior year, haha</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>seconded.</p>

17

<p>

</p>

<p>Soooo… if you’re not interested in any activities at Columbia, you won’t meet many friends?</p>

<p>Sounds about right. </p>

<p>I mean, I assuming you’re intentionally leaving out student government, non-dance arts groups, the marching band, philo, every campus publication, etc.</p>

<p>I don’t know that I would want to go to a school where you just walk up to random people sitting on the lawns and strike up conversation about… what? I mean, I guess those places exist, but… well, that’s not for everyone, just like Columbia is not for everyone.</p>

<p>That said, just a few days ago, I made a new friend by sitting down with a kid I had lithum with (who I run into very rarely, like probably less than once a month). I ran into him in lerner and I sat down and talked with him and his friend, and met a new person. I’m not saying that I’m best friends with the guy that I met sitting in Lerner, but the point is that random social interactions do happen at Columbia; you just have to be open to it.</p>

<p>It goes back to what I think is the clearest overarching statement about Columbia: you can really have almost any kind of experience you want, socially, academically, artistically, pre-professionally, internship-wise, research-wise, you name it–you just have to be willing to work for it, seek it out, and make it happen for yourself.</p>

18

<p>Pretty nice things here. Marked.</p>

19

<p>I strongly agree with silverchris9; I love Columbia because of all the opportunities it offers. Of course, in order to turn these opportunities into things (great relationships with professors, internships, friends, etc.) you have to work for them a bit.</p>

<p>That said, I feel that my own social experience at Columbia has been a little lacking. I don’t think this is really Columbia’s fault, but I want to share my experience.</p>

<p>I met some interesting people during CO</p>

20

<p>^</p>

<p>Yup, sounds like Columbia to me. Don’t worry man. I know many, many people who feel the same exact way. When asked to summarize 4 years at Columbia, at least socially, the answer is almost invariably, “Meh…”</p>