<p>Stop acting like a little girl, confront him.
lol, I'm not going to sit quiet if someone takes my food out of my closet without even asking...</p>
<p>
[quote]
Stop acting like a little girl, confront him.
[/quote]
lol, exactly. There's nothing more annoying than the silent, passive aggressive type.</p>
<p>Trust me when I say that these are not Extreme Roommate problems. Smelly clothes in the closet--very typical. At least they're not all over the floor and both sides of the room. Going through your stuff to find a q-tip is wrong but it was just a q-tip. Explain to him that all he had to do was ask for one.</p>
<p>Try to get out of the room more often so you don't find yourself sitting around looking for things to annoy you. Get out of the room, make some friends, spend time visiting friends in other dorms, join an intramural team, join a club or go to the gym. Develop a circle of friends. You'll be able to choose your roommate for next year so start planning now.</p>
<p>If he's using your stuff, get locks and never leave things out in the open.</p>
<p>Dude, you're spazzing about a q-tip and him using your trashcan...WITHOUT PERMISSION? lol, would you rather him throw the q-tip on the floor? Seriously...</p>
<p>Confront him, be like "yo man, I know you've been going through my stuff, stop, just ask, aiite?"</p>
<p>I don't think you read what I posted before. I already said the point is not the q-tip, the point is he went through my stuff. If you guys think that is cool, then I can see you guys need to get some respect for other people's belongings. And no I am not a "passive aggressive type" I have already talked about it. Who knows if he understands or if he will do it more just to be an ass.</p>
<p>And where did anything I posted make it seem I have no friends? I go out with my friends to play sports, eat, or hangout everyday. I just come back and find that my possessions have been ransacked.</p>
<p>I'm glad you have friends. It'll get you out of the room so you can focus less on your roommate issues. How did he take it when you discussed his actions of going through your stuff? </p>
<p>Have you talked with your friends about housing for next year?</p>
<p>He said "oh yeah I did, sorry I just needed it." I didn't talk to him about my food because I'm still not 100% sure about that. So I have on idea what will happen now.</p>
<p>My friends are content with their roommates for now. Some have just told me to move out when I can.</p>
<p>If you don't know about the food, why didn't you just ask him, and/or suggest that you two lay down some ground rules about each others' property?</p>
<p>You say that you are confronting him, but I don't think you really are!</p>
<p>Did you tell him that you don't want him going through your stuff anymore? Did you tell him to just ask you next time rather than go behind your back and just take it?</p>
<p>Maybe this whole thing is just a matter of miscommunication. Perhaps the two of you should sit down and talk about some stuff in a casual, calm, and unaccusatory way. How were things between the two of you before this incident?</p>
<p>The conversation was already uncomfortable for us, and I didn't want to make anything worse. I don't have that much food, so I will know next time. Besides there shouldn't be any rules that need to be made about property. If it isn't yours, then ask before you use it. Why is that so hard to understand?</p>
<p>Today was really awkward though... I come back from classes and I see him and his girlfriend, I'm assuming, in bed. Yeah, so I grab my notebook and head out. I came back about two hours ago, and I went in my room just now to see my garbage can stuffed. Not a big problem, then I notice a condom in it. Uhh.. not a problem as long as it's not happening on my bed. I just wish he could have said something to me about her visiting. He was just like this is so and so, and that is it. I don't know if she is staying the weekend or not.</p>
<p><em>edit</em> Of course I would say ask next time. Why else would I say? Before this it was a friendly I guess, but not real friendship just like "hey what's up?"</p>
<p>Oh man, you really need to set some ground rules with this guy.</p>
<p>1) Not touch each other's stuff without permission.
2) If he's going to bring a girl back, he should have the decency to text you or call you, or you guys should work out a signal with the whiteboard on the door or something.
2.5) If anybody will be staying in the room, he should have the decency to text you or tell you beforehand.
3) My roommate's seminal fluid is NOT allowed in my garbage can. No exceptions. You should adopt the same policy with your roommate. He can get his own garbage can.
4) If he wants your food from the fridge or anywhere else, he has to ask.</p>
<p>Most of these are common sense, but not everybody has common sense. Keep that in mind.</p>
<p>Don't avoid it because it's an awkward convo; just do it. You'll thank yourself for it later.</p>
<p>Thank you GoldShadow, I am going to talk to him about what you just said when his girlfriend is gone.</p>
<p>The last time I checked, taking another person's things without permission wasn't considered acceptable; if it's not yours, don't touch it unless you've been told you can. The OP shouldn't have to (though it looks like he might need to) lay down ground rules when it comes to such issues - these are things we learn in grade school. Furthermore, his dorm is his home right now, and he has every right to desire comfort and security.</p>
<p>The girlfriend situation happens often in college. Maybe this was a spur of the moment kind of thing and seeing how you weren't in the room when she first got there, he probably thought they'd "be done" by the time you got back. In any case, usually roommates have talked about this stuff and set up some agreed upon guidelines. He could have sent you a text or something to let you know when it was "safe" to come back in the room. There is no excuse for him dumping his used condom in your garbage can. </p>
<p>I have a feeling you guys will work this out. It's awkward for some guys to engage in conversation but I bet a lot of these issues can be resolved if you two can talk them out. The two of you need to set some clear room rules. Sounds like he grew up in a different environment and needs to have some of the basic boundaries clearly outlined for him.</p>
<p>Okay I am really ticked off now. I was just getting my shampoo bottle when I see it has been knocked over and spilling. I clearly remember I set it up right, and what the hell is it now? He is secretly using my shampoo for his sex acts? Or did he just knock it over when he put his god damn used condom in my garbage can, and didn't bother putting it back up? I can't believe this guy. I really hope this ass doesn't come in with his girlfriend late at night when I'm sleeping only to wake me up with loud talking or whatever else.</p>
<p>Please, please, please, talk to your roommate again, but please tell him EXACTLY how you feel. I had a roommate just like you when I was a freshman in college. She was such a **<strong><em>. She did use my stuff without permission one time. I gave her a piece of my mind (respectfully, of course). I scared her *</em></strong>less and she never gave me trouble again. She actually went out of her way to be considerate after that.</p>
<p>What your roommate is doing is unacceptable. Sure, using a couple of q-tips doesn't really seem like a big deal to most, but it is the principle behind it. It is not OK to use someone's stuff without permission. The condom thing is 100% completely unacceptable and should be dealt with ASAP.</p>
<p>If you really can't communicate to him how you EXACTLY feel, talk to your RA and have him facilitate the dialogue. It would be ideal if you can talk to your roomie face to face, but if you can't, see your RA today.</p>
<p>Gattz, I understand your frustration, but you are not doing you part very well. Did you really, seriously, talk to your roommate about how there needs to be clear rules concerning properties/others in the room/etc...? You can't just ventilate on an online forum about this guy and expect him to get better. For all we know, he might be well aware of your frustration but still be acting as if his behaviors are Okay because you aren't confronting him.
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really hope this ass doesn't come in with his girlfriend late at night when I'm sleeping only to wake me up with loud talking or whatever else.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Again, don't "hope" for anything to happen, or not happen. Confront him and tell him straight up he needs to stop.</p>
<p>Tell him he has to bring a chick for you as well if he wants to bring a girl in there. How rude...</p>
<p>Since your not man enough to confront him, start stealing his stuff 2. You know what they say? "It always taste better when its not yours"</p>
<p>Just confront him in a respectful manner; don't be afraid.</p>
<p>You: Hey man, recently I've noticed that youre going through my stuff and using it without permission.</p>
<p>Him: Oh yeah, what's the big deal dude?</p>
<p>You: Well I'm just not down with it. It bothers me. I don't mind if you borrow some stuff but it'd be cool if you asked me first.</p>
<p>Him: OK sure.</p>
<p>You: Alright awesome dude. You wanna kill a 30 rack?</p>
<p>Him: Sure bro.</p>
<p>Not too hard. If he responds with anything different than above, than he is a prick in which case you should seek higher authority.</p>