<p>@surfcity,</p>
<p>Do you think your daughter would be more comfortable with the time management at her BS if she was a boarder, rather than a day student?</p>
<p>^^^ thats a good question. My DC wishes he could be a day student because he feels he would have more time to study.</p>
<p>surf: One of the reasons my kid chose bs was to get away from those minutiae oriented tests. He was just talking the other day about how much more meaningful it is to learn history in particular through writing and discussion of reading than through memorization (which is what his brother is doing back home). My kid has lots of homework, but I donât think any of it could be classified as busywork. So I donât think your situation is necessarily typical, and I can see why youâre looking at that good day school.</p>
<p>Frankly, I donât think Iâd send my kid to bs as a day student, unless we lived within walking distance of the school. I just donât think the daily schedule is set up for them. Many of the day student parents Iâve talked to tell me that their kids are regularly up until midnight doing homework. I think the travel time back and forth from home alone can be a stressâand they miss out on some of the small pleasures like spontaneous study breaks in the dorm or late night cookies with the faculty. So the pressure is there without as much of the fun stuff.</p>
<p>If surfcityâs child is a day student at a predominantly boarding school, then that could explain difficulty with the workload. Too much lost time actively living in two different worlds.</p>
<p>Some kids are just more naturally driven than others. Some times it takes the boarding school environment of other driven students to get with the program. It is also a great talk and susceptible to failure. In other words, itâs easier said than done. Iâve witnessed students encouraging their classmates to persevere when they feel overwhelmed. It is an academically driven environment and not for everyone. There are different caliber schools all basically with the same objective to have the student strive to do their best. Those schools of notoriety are prominently academically driven which is my personal reason for not applying to reaches if a kid really isnât cut out for that kind of academic pressure. It all comes back to fit and those Hidden Gems. Every year there are Seniors who go on from such schools as Suffield Academy to the likes of Cornell and elsewhere. My current Senior is absorbed with the College entry process and experiencing the notorious anxious waiting period for EA. In the interim, he will retake some SAT course exams this Saturday. He doesnât have to and we have told him so, he wants to. Heâll forgo his first wrestling tournament to take the course tests again. On the other hand, his brother was a different story, he had to take the main SAT exam again and again. Donât misjudge his brother as he was and still is driven, just has to work at it harder to achieve similar goals.</p>
<p>To clarify, my guy is retaking some SAT courses just in case he does not make it in on the EA. Heâs hoping for the best, preparing for the worse. I do believe there is a method to the madness of Boarding School Admissions, I have yet to fully comprehend the College level.</p>
<p>I see a bit of a meme growing here, which appears to be that âHidden Gemsâ = less academically rigorous. While that may be true of some schools, it is not true of all. And schools that some parents regard as âlower tierâ than ACRONYM schools may have students who have to work harder in general to maintain grades. So, depending on the student and the school, âfitâ notwithstanding (and those of you whoâve read my other posts know Iâm a huge proponent of âfitâ over âfameâ), a particular student might find the workload at ANY school to be an adjustment, whether s/he was a day or boarding student.</p>
<p>That said, I do agree that attending a BS with a high percentage of boarders as a day student can be stressful and difficult, both socially and academically. Some schools do a better job than others integrating day students. But a huge amount of time is lost in commuting (not just the actual hours commuting, but the time preparing to go, and unpacking, etc.). One of the reasons we chose BS was that we spent about 12-15 (and sometimes more, rarely less) hours a week JUST getting to and from our various school/homeschool/music/EC commitments in our rural area. So for our dd, BS has been a real boon, in terms of time. She finds that with good time management she has plenty of time to meet her commitments and, as she says, âstill have a lifeâ âbigger pond issues aside, and even those are dissipating since midterm grades were posted.</p>
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<p>I agree, @girlgeekmom. That is so sad - because the whole point of making a hidden gems page was to counter the myth that they were âless rigorous.â Iâm often mystified why people looking only a selected stats and often with no first hand knowledge, would promote the idea that any school was âless than.â Certainly, if the school takes everyone who applies - or a large majority of them, then one might suspect it doesnât meet the rigor of one that accepts only 10% or less. </p>
<p>But really - for most students - almost all of these schools are a substantial step up from what the students experienced before and there just arenât not enough spots at all the schools combined to take in every student who wants a spot.</p>
<p>Maybe itâs time to stop the turf wars on which school is âbetterâ.</p>
<p>USNews & the public will never let that happen, thankfully.</p>
<p>I agree with girlgeekmom. I would take it a step further and say that the workload/schedule is challenging in high school these days in general - day or boarding, top tier or less selective private or public. Same holds true for public school, IMO, if you are attending a halfway decent public school and taking a rigorous course load. Then you add in ECs, sports, etc. and most kids donât go to bed before midnight. Attending our local public MIDDLE school, my kids were usually out the door by 7 AM and not going to bed before 11 PM. This is not a BS issue and definitely not a âtop tierâ BS issue. In many ways, BS makes the schedule easier to fit it all in - no commuting, less âbusyâ work assigned, no state and federally mandated testing and teaching to the test.</p>
<p>I agree that boarding school students have an advantage regarding available study time. But, not just due to saved commuting time. At boarding schools, everything is within reach & all are experiencing the same or similiar academic demands.</p>
<p>I think worry about college admissions can be found in all high schools, public as well as private. In the public high schools, the parents worry a great deal about studentsâ class rank.</p>
<p>Surfcity: I began reading this thread to see how BS issues compared with private day school issues. Our daughter is a sophomore who attends private day school. There are ongoing issues with underage drinking, parties,etc at most schools, public or private. The annual attrition rate at Dâs school is about 5%. The caused for students who left last year range from academic issues to hacking into the schools computer server system (that student will be a muti-millionaire as he/she was shmart enough at 14 to figure it how to accomplish the task).</p>
<p>The academics are very challanging. D entered this school in 9th grade from a good public school system - the work level and expoectations are just light years apart. D made good grades in 9th grade B+/A- average and is even doing a bit better this year. What out public school system excelled at was teachingmath/science; where its was lacking was in writing and communication skills. D has worked very hard to improve her written and verbal commnication skills to be on par with her private school peers; in fact it will take through this school year for all to even out.</p>
<p>D also is involved in ECâs - varsity field hockey in Fall & varsity softball in Spring, so free time is minimal. D does homework 6 nights/week and will spend an hour reading soemthing on Friday night (her ânight offâ). We shoo her off to bed by 11 as sheâs up at 6:30 for me to drive her to school. Mom picks her up after school/practice/game.</p>
<p>Yes, this is very challanging for a 15 y/o. She would like to be a collegiate student-athlete, so learning time management now is important. Mom & Dad are there to assist if there is a meltdown (there was 1 last year just prior to Spring Finals) or to take the pressure off. We asked over the summer if D wanted to transfer back to public school. She replyed âThere is no way and you canât make me go back to public schoolâ so we know sheâs content and perhaps even - gasp- happy?</p>
<p>Periwinkle makes a great point about a difference between public high schools & private boarding schools.</p>
<p>Lots of good posts and points made here. PelicanDad, it sounds as if we are both raising the same sort of kid. Same experience going on hereâŠand it is the very best thing for him. </p>
<p>As with some others here, the saved time being a boarder vs. commuting to school, ECs etc etc was huge for DS. It is one of the reasons why DS is so much happier in a boarding environment. Being happier has been reflected in higher grades, despite the greater workload and more rigorous grading system. For him, at least, happiness is essential to high achievement.</p>
<p>Emphatically agree that the acronym schools do not have a lock on academic rigor. The hidden gems with which I am familiar provide suburb educations, and it usually the student who decides how much of a load to take on. With the exception of some profoundly gifted kids and some kids who prefer to specialize, I think there is a very wide choice of boarding schools that can provide what a student is seeking.</p>
<p>Threesdad, we did the private day school route with our kids too. Like boarding schools, there are all sorts of private day schools. Some I am familiar with seem to pride themselves on sleep deprivation. One girl at our rigorous private day school went on to another day school that seems legend in pushing even their brightest students well beyond what I consider reasonable expectations for an adolescent. </p>
<p>The best approach for a family seems to be clear on what their student wants and needs, and look at the school (whether public, day, or boarding) very, very closely.</p>
<p>2kids: We (WW(wonderful wife) & I) knew what the D was in store for prior to Admissions Letter and ultimately D saying yes to attending. The school D attends is known to be a challange academically and field competitve athletic teams; the schoolâs goal is to insure graduating students are properly prepared for the academic rigors of collegiate life. </p>
<p>Most of the returning alums say the academic transition from Dâs school to college is seamless.</p>
<p>D was not mature enough for boarding school as a 14-15 y/o. There was a state tournament field hockey game held at a BS (Blair Academy) about an hour from our home. Lovely campus and facilities.</p>
<p>One thing Iâve heard over and over again is how kids from boarding schools and the more rigorous day schools seem to transition exceptionally well, as a group, to college.</p>
<p>I know this is an âeyes wide openâ thread, but I will say that I already see my older daughter (at BS) adopting some of the more diligent work habits that my BS friends at college had back in the day which I did not (coming from a relatively rigorous day school).</p>
<p>A good friend of ours, very active in the world of college admissions, told us that the name given by college admissions officers for burned out BS kids is âcrispiesâ. They have, as noted above, essentially burned out from the pressures of BS and spend a year or two in University, recovering.</p>