My mom was sick for these past few years so I took care of her.
For hours per week—1. Do I take an average or what? It’s just that sometimes it may be very little commitment as she is feeling well, but then sometimes it’s a large commitment because she feels horrible. Her disease is very random so what do I put for the hours per week. I don’t want adcoms to think that every single week I specifically commit X hours towards this.
Another question: I have some trouble writing out the description. Here are some of the things I do.
I walk to the grocery store every couple of days to buy groceries and stuff for us. She can’t drive and I didn’t have a license then.
I clean the house (mainly basic household chores like vacuuming, scrubbing, cleaning the clothes).
I drive her around to the clinic, post office, just random errands.
- Are these things that I can actually put on there? I feel that it is a little iffy because most kids do that anyways (such as chores and stuff), regardless if their parent was ill or not.
The thing that I do mostly is being close to her just in case she needs something. So if she feels really bad, I help fetch her a glass of water and some pills, or cut her some fruit or whatever. 3. It’s just that technically I’m not doing much during that period so I don’t know if I can put that on the app either.
- So should I get my counselor to put it in his/her rec, put it in additional information section, put it in the family responsibilities section or a combination?
5, Do I need any medical records to prove my case? I know for personal injuries they be needed to prove that. Do I need any of that?
Thanks.
Are you putting this under “activities”?
Seems like this is a family responsibility - great for an essay, but it isn’t the same as volunteer work so why would it be an activity?
Is there any reason that you feel you must report your mom’s illness on your college application? Are you shut out of doing other activities because of helping your mom?
@rhandco Family Responsibilities is a category listed under the Activities section of the Common App so I figured I would put it there.
Also, yes I think I was shut out of doing other activities as most of the time, I had to stay home to watch over her (and do the other things mentioned) so I didn’t have too much time to pursue many activities.
Okay, so that’s where to start. If you had to stay home to watch her, and also ran errands on occasion, the time you had to stay home until an adult arrived home would be a good estimate.
So maybe:
Caretaker: Supervised disabled relative and ran errands such as driving to the doctor and store.
As for hours, the average should be figured out for the year, then put the average per week. Let’s say four episodes per month, each two days. That’s 8 * 12 * four hours of assistance each time = around 400 hours per year. Errands are probably more regular, maybe four hours per week = 200 hours per year (I am just making up numbers).
Home health aides get paid to hang around and get a glass of water for someone and so on. Being a caretaker is no different.
(for your mother’s privacy, you could say “parent” or “relative” instead of mother, but in an essay, it would be better to identify her as your mother unless she would not agree. Please ask her.)
Make sure your guidance counselor understands and explains it in his/her report. You don’t need evidence beyond that, though your GC might.
I disagree with rhandco’s approach. Being a ‘caretaker’ for a ‘disabled relative’ in no way conveys the level of responsibility that you have assumed in your family, the toll it takes on your daily life or the emotional cost to you. Definitely talk to your GC about the situation so they can bring it up in their rec letter. Make sure your teachers know about it as well. There is also a section of the application at the end for ‘additional information’ where you can write at greater length about the impact of your mom’s illness on you and your family including all the uncertainly around when she will need you and how much (an additional stresser all by itself). By doing this, you can save your application essays for talking about other parts of your life - what your goals and aspirations are, what interests and excites you, what you have to contribute to a college community. You want the admissions staff to see all that you have to offer them.
This has to be really tough and I’m sorry you are going through it. Many of those who will read your application or write letters of recommendation for you will have had the same experience (hopefully not at such a young age). They will sympathize and take it into consideration if you give them that opportunity.
I understand the commitment that it takes to support an ill parent. In college, my mom was very ill and later passed. It was a huge responsibility of mine to help my family and go to school an hour away. When it came time to apply for graduate school, I turned this into a nice essay. I also had my recommenders include this in their recommendations. These would both be great ways to high light this devotion. It can especially make a nice essay if your care-taking lead to a revelation about why you’re choosing your field of interest. If there is a spot for family responsibilities on the common app, you can put it there too.
I hope your mom is doing well. If you ever need someone who has had a similar experience to talk to, feel free to message me.