<p>This was posted in The Choice Blog in the NYtimes......for anyone who wants a good laugh....</p>
<p>Hello</a> Again: A Field Guide to Parents' Weekend - NYTimes.com</p>
<p>Can’t wait. I have my son and I signed up for the Logger Food Fest this Saturday. Let the eye rolling commence!</p>
<p>I’d love a report on what the Logger Food Fest involves! </p>
<p>Some of the comments (the one from phoenixdad stands out) really are poignant though.</p>
<p>Ah, priceless. Makes me rethink NOT going to my d’s parents weekend next week. Always looking for new ways to embarass my child. I have to limit myself to posting “cute” videos and pictures on her facebook wall.</p>
<p>Thanks Rodney - I’m chuckling in recognition. We went to our first PW last year (D1 was a first-year) and I was feeling a little sad/guilty that we aren’t headed back for our second PW this weekend. But reading this reminded me that we’re all probably better off waiting to see her at Thanksgiving ;)</p>
<p>She had me until she bought booze for her D. I’m stunned.</p>
<p>^^ at least it wasn’t vodka, our preferred alcohol of choice back in college when the drinking age was 18 to 19 to 21.</p>
<p>This makes me feel so much better about not being able to afford the trip to PW in a couple of weeks.</p>
<p>I don’t want to hijack this thread into a discussion of underage drinking, but…I’m no fan of the 21 yr old drinking age. It was 18 when I was in college, so it wasn’t an issue for most students. I hope that their D doesn’t get busted, and through her, them, for providing alcohol to minors. I think she was not only foolish to do it, but really, really stupid to write about it in the NYT.</p>
<p>I thought this was more sad than funny. Why do we accept such shabby treatment from the kids on whom we have expended so much time, energy, wealth and love. If I’d had the experience the author had with her daughter, I’d be too embarrassed to publish it in the NYT and I’d be seriously questioning what I’d done to teach her to treat me that way.</p>
<p>I guess this explains why drinking is such a huge problem on college campuses. Everyone expects the administrators to fix the problem but the truth is, a huge percentage of the parents really think it’s ok for kids to drink at age 17-18 and actually encourage it. Sadly, they will continue to undercut any efforts the schools make to address what is a really tragic trend.</p>
<p>(And yes, I did drink in college but my parents would have pulled me up short if I’d been stupid enough to ask them to subsidize it. Why are so many of us so terrified of saying no to our own kids?)</p>
<p>Joblue, I’m thinking the same thing! While I have no expectation that S2 (or S1 next weekend for that matter) will want to do the forced “parents weekend as written by xyz U.” but I have EVERY anticipation that he will spend lots of time with us and his younger brother and enjoy it. He has been calling me about dinner reservs, planning fun nighttime stuff to do with his brother (and a bunch of friends who also have younger siblings visiting) and expressing excitement about having the opportunity to show us around and introduce us to his friends. I have friends who’s kids regularly treat them like cr*p and they dismiss it all as normal adolescent behavior - I don’t buy it. My kids are by NO MEANS perfect (really, truly - no means!) but they love and respect their parents and put family first. It’s the way we raised them and what we expect, and they love us proudly. This kind of thing just makes me very sad, if we allow our children to act like inconsiderate humans to US, the very people that love them more than anything - how can we expect for them to grow up and treat others with respect and love? Sorry to rant but this is a pet peeve of mine, rant over.</p>
<p>let’s start a poll since you are all flaming me for “being the messenger”…</p>
<p>Parents of girls who can relate to this poll: </p>
<p>Parents of boys who think this is sad/disgusting/out of line etc…:</p>
<p>I’ll start: parent of girl</p>
<p>D’s first (and probably our last) parents’ weekend was last weekend. The story played out similarly, except there is no way we would make a liquor stop for under-aged students. I asked her to look over the weekend schedule ahead of time. Her reaction…“Ugh! I don’t like anything.” “O.K.”, I said, “What do you want to do?” We pull up to her dorm and she comes out with two friends, announcing that they want to find the infamous 2-story Forever 21. We follow her Mapquest directions, only to realize that she printed out the directions to the “other” mall. We spend another 30 minutes stopping at various businesses, asking if anyone knows where the intended mall was located. For some reason, none of our cell phones had service in that area. We finally found the right mall and they shopped by themselves for a few hours. We called them and asked them to meet us at a nearby restaurant for dinner. After dinner, one of the friends had to get back to campus to do her radio show. She was kind and invited us to sit in the studio. We declined, but D and the other friend eagerly agreed to go. We dropped them off on campus at 7:30 and called it a night. D did agree to breakfast the next morning, followed by a church service. That was the extent of our parents’ weekend.</p>
<p>Rodney, I can relate and I am also a parent of a girl…I thought it was funny with the exception of the alcohol purchase. I am sure the writer will get alot of crap for that one. It may be more of a girl thing…</p>
<p>So the crux of the story is that the mother rewards her child’s bratty behavior with alcohol. Lovely.</p>
<p>I have to confess; I didn’t even realize the alcohol reference before I posted this…it got me before that…</p>
<p>I do admit that it is a little odd that the NYtimes would print the story with that in it…curious to see the backlash on the blog</p>
<p>Well, I’ve been to Parents Weekend for both a son and a daughter. Parts of it were pretty similar for each one of them. Lots of shopping, lots of irritability at times. I’m going to stay out of the alcohol discussion. </p>
<p>It’s a stressful time. Rodney, for what it’s worth, I enjoyed the story. I suspect parts of it may have been exaggerated for comedic effect. But I think it’s worth discussing what your child’s expectations for Parents Weekend are rather than parents making unilateral decisions as to the agenda.</p>
<p>I cannot believe this thread has become more annoying but it has. Now we’re voting on whether or not girls are inherently bratty? And, of course, boys are not. </p>
<p>I’m a woman. I would never had acted the way described in this article. My parents taught me to be respectful, beginning with my relationship with them.</p>
<p>I am the parent of a boy who would not act this way neither. Neither would my nieces.</p>
<p>The appeal/rewarding of rude behavior is completely lost on me. Thankfully my sisters and brother are on the same page. When I hear the way some children/adult children speak to their parents/other adults, I am flabbergasted. Of course, it’s nothing new but why it persists at all is a mystery to me.</p>
<p>sabaray wrote
</p>
<p>Well said. It’s also worth discussing that while the child may be tired, overwhelmed, etc. they are expected to treat their parents nicely and failure to do will not be rewarded. I adore my kid but I’d far rather spend a quiet weekend with my husband than with my kid if he was behaving rudely. No, thank you.</p>
<p>No matter one’s opinion about the parent buying the alcohol (and I won’t provide an opinion here either), it does seem odd that the author, whose name is published, would be willing to publish that fact!</p>
<p>By mutual agreement our parents weekend consisted of taking our daughter out to eat and to a nearby college event for her sister. On a separate occassion we went to her college and ate in the cafeteria with her (she bought lunch for the family) because others in the family hadn’t seen the “fabulous” didning hall. </p>
<p>I would be very disappointed if my child treated me as this article describes, needless to say there would be no alcohol purchased for the underaged. This is sad, very sad.</p>