<p>im entering my junior year in high school and my father is dying of cancer. it really screwed up my grades freshman year b/c of added responsibilities and such but i still have a 3.6 right now.</p>
<p>ive read other threads on here saying not to use depression as an excuse for lower grades but what about serious family illnesses?</p>
<p>and i dont really mean excuse but as some sort of explanatation</p>
<p>Any excuse is just that--an excuse. There are poorer kids who work 40 hrs/week to take care of their families.</p>
<p>you need to talk to your counselor. he will help you. mine did.</p>
<p>sounds much better coming from him than from you. honestly, at the most selective schools, you're ****ed anyway since they don't really need to look for ways to hide your flaws...but it will still help if you're on the border</p>
<p>"Any excuse is just that--an excuse. There are poorer kids who work 40 hrs/week to take care of their families."</p>
<p>That is rather cold and heartless. Having a father who is sick and dying is extremely painful and draining.</p>
<p>thanks for everybody's help and although i see the point i have to agree with momfromme</p>
<p>i think you should DEF. write an essay on that...and i think its rather cruel and pathetic of people to say that "a father in dying status is just an excuse". someobdy gave me this one link about pointers on good college essays and one of the examples under good was an essay on a girl's experience with her father's illness. this is relly beside the point, but still, if you make it sound good and do it right without sounding sappy, then i think you can explain real well to the admissions people. :)</p>
<p>EDIT: btw this is the link
<a href="http://www.virginia.edu/undergradadmission/writingtheessay.html%5B/url%5D">http://www.virginia.edu/undergradadmission/writingtheessay.html</a></p>
<p>Eh, it would do more harm than good... Why would colleges choose kids with stunning GPA and all around excellence over you? (there are even kids who work full time and are still able to maintain straight As). An excuse is an excuse.</p>
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Any excuse is just that--an excuse. There are poorer kids who work 40 hrs/week to take care of their families.
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<p>Darcy: wow, did someone drop you on your head when you were young or leave you untouched like the Unabomber in an incubator for awhile so much that you began to feel morose and unloved? There are very few kids who work 40 hour weeks to take care of their families and who persevere in their studies to graduate with good grades. And as momfromme pointed out, it's a draining and destabilizing experience to have a parent die.</p>
<p>To the OP: I am sorry to hear about your situation. Hang in there. My sister just passed from cancer, and though there's no real parallel in terms of the effect (I am settled in my life), I do feel great empathy for your situation.</p>
<p>Do the best you can. DON'T excuse yourself; it's not a question what other people think ultimately, just don't make your very sad circumstances and greater responsibilities an excuse to slack off or be mediocre. On the other hand, you genuinely have a much heavier load to bear, so don't beat yourself up. Do as well as you can and then be very realistic about which colleges you choose to apply to. If you end strong in high school (if this is possible given the burdens on you) and the counselor can explain as others said what you were faced with as a freshman, your application will demonstrate that you improved and overcame. If you are always really weighted down by your circumstances, but do as well as possible on your tests, that will of course help.</p>
<p>durk,
I think depression is different, you want to avoid the D word because colleges afraid that people who are mentally unstable could get worse with the pressure of first year in college. I'm sure you've heard plenty of that in the news. But your father's illness is real, you are not ill, he is, but it does affect you unless you are a robot. So I think either have the counselor write something to explain it, or you may write something in your essay. But I'm not an expert in the essay topics, maybe this is not a good topics. However, I read a college admission book last night and it did mention this essay about a girl with a father with cancer, check this out from your local library</p>
<p>bobmallet and Darcy, you guys are pretty heartless. I truly pity you guys. </p>
<p>Anyway, I think a family illness should definitely be noted to a college, and it can be a strong essay topic. </p>
<p>Good luck!</p>
<p>These are definitely extenuating circumstances. I don't think having a terminally ill parent would be considered an 'excuse' per se. Your counselor will know how to handle this information and would be the best person to share it with prospective schools. I agree that having a down year isn't a good thing, (post #5). It does, however, show that you have dealt with adversity and have landed on your feet, which is something that CAN work to benefit your application---Good for you! Best wishes to you and your family!</p>
<p>Durk these kids are *******s who will probably never get any in their lives, so just ignore the ones saying your dad doesn't matter.</p>
<p>With absolutely no exaggeration I can share with you that if the Daddy in our household was dying of cancer, the rest of us would be devastated and probably dysfunctional. The fact that you have managed to pull together a 3.6 is quite a testament to your personal strength. Your GC should include an explanation in her rec. This situation is certainly serious and valid enough to warrant your addressing it as well.</p>
<p>Also remember that with a 3.6, many fine universities will be thrilled to have you (even if they aren't in the top ten). If you can come out of this era of your life with a degree from a good college, having kept it all together for the most part, then that will be an enormous accomplishment. Aim high, have lots of safeties, and know in your heart that your high school achievements will always include things which are immeasurable on paper.</p>
<p>Durk - I am very sorry you and your family are going through this right now. </p>
<p>I am an alumni admissions interview for my alma mater, and if we were to talk and this came up, it would definitely be noted in my report. In fact, there is a section on the report called "Additional Qualities" that asks: "Is there anything else we should know about the student? (e.g., time abroad, participation in professional groups, family situations, job/work.)"</p>
<p>That you could maintain a 3.6 while dealing with this at home is, as another poster pointed out, impressive. I would be interested to find out how your family pulled together, coping skills you learned, ways in which it made you stronger or more aware of things. Your GC can also be an advocate for you.</p>
<p>I would hesitate using this as a college essay topic unless you have an original angle - the admissions staff get a lot of these every year.</p>
<p>flatlander</p>
<p>this help is greatly appreciated. i was hesitant about putting it in my essay anyway and now i won't, but i will definitely be talking to my gc about how to approach this.</p>
<p>Durka I recently said goodbye to a parent after helping to take care of her for a number of years. I would say out of anything I ever accomplished, my performance on that job is the thing that makes me the most proud. In particular, going through the hospice experience as a family was something that I can't even begin to describe here. Helping someone you love to confront death is such a complex and mind-boggling experience - it really brings you to another level of reality. You will receive so many gifts for your efforts on your father's behalf - you really won't believe it.</p>
<p>Durk, I can give you a first-hand example:</p>
<p>During my son's entire high school experience, I was very sick due to a heart transplant and subsequent complications. This obviously affected my son's grades and attendance. My son got an excellent score on the ACT (35), and mostly 800s on the SAT IIs, but his GPA this year was only about a 3.3.</p>
<p>On his college apps, he discussed my condition frankly and explained how this affected his grades. To make a long story short, he was accepted at most of the schools he applied to, including the only ivy to which he applied (Cornell), and he will be attending Northwestern University this fall.</p>
<p>Do not hesitate to disclose your family situation and its impact on your life.</p>
<p>Best Wishes</p>
<p>^^well northwestern isn't an excellent school (not an ivy though). Cornell is the worst ivy... If he had applied to harvard, yale, he wouldn't have gotten in</p>