How in the world am I going to explain this?

<p>I don't really know where I should put this, so if you think it belongs somewhere else, tell me.</p>

<p>Basically my problem lies with my dad. He has some serious depressive issues/very serious medical problems which have caused him to have extreme mood swings. It's really disrupted my whole family, he would call my relatives and have them pick me up from the house because he didn't want me there, etc. Since I was having to leave so often and my household was so turbulent, I really haven't been able to immerse myself in many of the extracurriculars I want to pursue and i'm worried this will look horrible and lazy on an application.</p>

<p>Another problem is the fact that i'm graduating late. I was the person primarily taking care of my dad while he was really sick, and once again, I was often forced to leave my house during this at his request. When he was sick I got barely anything accomplished in terms of what I consider a "full course" and before that we were having problems as well.</p>

<p>Overall, I don't want to make it seem like i'm blaming my dad for everything. I don't want them thinking i'm making a bunch of bogus excuses, but I really think this is going to destroy my chances at getting into a competitive college. Right now i'm working really hard on studying for AP tests in May and am taking a full college courseload at my community college next semester and most likely through the summer. </p>

<p>Any suggestions? Sorry for the tl;dr post.</p>

<p>Oh boo, I really need advice.</p>

<p>I think that you need to address your lack of involvement AND if it's true, how you can't wait to have the independence to submerge yourself in college life. Do you have a relationship with a teacher/counselor who can maybe address some of these difficulties on your behalf? not specifically of course, but I just think if you really concentrate on what you want to get out of the college experience. Keep it as positive as you can, (don't look back and try to focus forward). If someone else can address that you've overcome some tremendous obstacles and accepted responsibilities that were unreasonable for a kid of 16 or 17 (understatement), it will make the rest a little better. But above all, I would definitely write a kick butt personal statement, not about what you are hoping to get away from, but what you are working towards.</p>

<p>Bottom line: Admissions don't want a sob story and they don't want trite.</p>

<p>Yeah, I know they don't want a sob story. I've tried my best to put my interests to good use at home by teaching myself instruments and working on an art and writing portfolio. Would it be useful to submit artwork, even though i'm definitely not planning to study it in college?</p>

<p>I'm going to try and talk to my new counselor at the CC and try and get to know them, just because I know i'll need them come applications time. Hopefully they can help me out. I'm also going to try and at least join the branch of Phi Theta Kappa there so I have more than just art class to put on an app.</p>

<p>Does anyone know about this? It could be a counselor from school or even your Dad's doctor (I hope he's seeing one, as this sounds like bipolar disorder and there are ways to get this under control)--I'd ask SOMEONE who's familiar with the situation to submit a supplemental recommendation on your behalf. That way, it doesn't sound like you're making excuses (which you AREN'T), and you come across as the exceptional person that you obviously are. Perhaps you can discuss this in one of your essays--I'm sure you've lived through some VERY tough days that could be the topic of a very poignant essay if handled correctly, and writing about it can be very therapeutic (speaking from experience here).</p>

<p>Anyone who has experienced this kind of thing first hand will completely understand its impact on your grades, ecs, etc--and they'll have a lot of respect for your handling of the situation. Please don't feel like you have to hide it from colleges.</p>

<p>Best of luck--we'll be rooting for you :-)</p>

<p>In regards to your first paragraph, people do know about this. He has multiple doctors and my mom has contacted them because them altering his medications makes the situation even worse. My father's family knows about this, and they do nothing about it. My grandmother blames me for this, saying that he's a professional and I bring too much stress into his life. My mom and I suspect bipolar disorder, but you can't bring that up to him or he gets very defensive and angry. He's currently on antidepressants which don't appear to help him at all, and in fact, i've read studies showing evidence that too low of a dose of antidepressants can worsen bipolar disorder. That's a big concern of mine.</p>

<p>I like your idea of someone writing a supplement to put in my application. I've noticed on several college websites, it says that if I had "unusual circumstances" affecting my education, I can feel free to contact them as well...I just wasn't sure how that would be addressed or brought up, and how it would be regarded. The essay idea is good too, especially since this situation is what is really driving me to work and get into a good college. This environment isn't allowing me to thrive as I could be, and if anything it's more motivation to work and get out and be in a supportive environment.</p>

<p>Thank you so much for the encouragement and ideas. I hadn't even thought of these things, and they're really great ideas! </p>

<p>I have one other question, not for anyone in particular- if I do opt to call a school and discuss this with them, when should I do it? I'm not going to be applying till the fall of 2009, but obviously this is something I have on my mind and i'm trying to get a head start on it. If I called now, do you think they would be able to give me any advice at all or tell me how my applications would be re considered?</p>

<p>i didn't read other posts, so sorry if this is repetitive, but this sounds like essay material. Not in sob-story form, but without making it seem like you are asking for their tears and pity, show that even though your situation is very difficult, it has made you a better person. Be genuine.</p>

<p>Okay, I slept on this idea, and I was wondering if it was still a bad idea to write in regards to personal problems. I'm going to assume it's different if you convey that it's changed/helped you for the better in the end, but do you think the schools will find it appropriate?</p>

<p>I agree with your assumption that it's ok to write about your problems with your father as long as you concentrate on how you grew as a person from the experience. I also think it's a good idea to ask your guidance counselor or a teacher who's familiar with your personal situation to address this in their recommendation. </p>

<p>I don't think the school will find it inappropriate as long as you don't come off as using this as an "excuse" or a "sob story", your situation obviously has had a major impact on your life over the past couple years, therefore it's relevant in helping a potential college get to know you better -- which is one of the primary purposes of essays and recommendations. Good luck.</p>