<p>How do you deal with this issue?</p>
<p>The dining alone problem is easy enough to solve. Just don't go to the dining hall without other people with you. If you can't find anyone to go with you, just get carry out. Doing this is pretty much standard when you don't see anyone to sit with at meals. Its no big deal.</p>
<p>The only person that really cares is you. When I see someone sitting alone, I'm not thinking, "haha what a sry loser". In fact, I don't really think anything and most ppl are the same.</p>
<p>I did plenty of carry-out in college, and the odd solitary breakfast, but eating alone always felt kind of awkward to me (not because I thought people would judge or something...it was just a bizarre feeling). But I'm traveling alone this year so have had to get used to it pretty quickly (and I think I've done pretty well...had a 2 hour dinner by myself the other night, right in the middle of a packed family restaurant)!</p>
<p>A book or notepad is the solution to all awkwardness, if just sitting and eating feels too weird. Do some pleasure reading or write a letter. You're still approachable, you can easily look up and let your mind wander, and you have something to do with your hands and your eyes if you feel uncomfortable.</p>
<p>It's not a big deal at all, especially in a dining hall, but I know that it did take me a bit of getting used to.</p>
<p>Everyone in your dorm will be feeling the same way. No one really wants to eat alone. When you're hungry, ask someone other people on your hall if they want to go eat. Chances are they'll either say yes or say that they've already made plans to go later and would you like to wait awhile and join them.</p>
<p>And if all else fails, take a book or get takeout. No one will think that you're strange.</p>
<p>My D is not eating is the issue. She has eaten one meal since monday because she is "terrified" of going alone. Since she knows now i can track her meals she may go...i keep telling her take a book youlike to read....its ok, really.</p>
<p>I wouldn't worry about it. it is just the sort of irrational fear that everyone has. She'll be fine.</p>
<p>I think you should sit down with her and discuss what is bothering her about sitting alone and interacting with strangers. Instead of avoiding the problem (carry-outs), she should really try to resolve the issue. Determining her underlying fear and addressing it is the proper way to approach this problem.</p>
<p>It is really important now to go to the dining halls and eat because early in the semester, there are lots of people who don't know each other, so going to the dining hall can be a good way of meeting people. If you delay, people can get into the habit of eating together, and then it will be harder to meet people.</p>
<p>Just look for someone who seems friendly or alone and ask if you can sit at their table. Be friendly, and tell them you're a freshman and ask what their classification is and where they're from. If they are an upperclassman, ask about their college experiences and ask for their advice about your freshman year -- courses, clubs, etc. If they are a freshman ask about their dorm, classes, what they thought of orientation, etc. </p>
<p>Most people probably will be happy to have someone to talk to. </p>
<p>If you go with a book, try not to bury your nose in it unless there's absolutely no one to talk to. If you're reading, it's not likely that others will approach you because they won't want to disturb you.</p>
<p>I was very shy when I went to college, and didn't know the things that I just advised. I learned these things after college by going to conferences and similar things. My college dining experiences would have been lots more comfortable, however, if I had realized how easy it is to meet people in the dining hall --particularly early freshman year when so many people are strangers.</p>
<p>Ask a table that's half full if you can join them. No big deal, nobody will care. I'm a sophomore and was eating w/ two friends on Monday (our first day) who are my age, and a guy asked if he could sit with us and we said 'sure no problem'....he wasn't a freshman, he was a junior and his class schedule happened to conflict w/ his friends lunch times. It happens at every grade level in college. We talked, we didnt become instant best friends over lunch or anything, but it was fun to have someone new at the table.</p>
<p>Very little awkwardness. Sometimes I think that as a freshman you expect everyone you meet to become your friend instantly becuase everyone's looking for friends, but it just doesnt happen that way.</p>
<p>get used to it because it is bound to happen sometime somewhere...it's better than walking down a dark alley alone</p>
<p>Sitting at a new table can be awkward if you don't know how to handle it. I know. Basically I'd listen to what everyone is saying very attentively so I could chime in with something worthwhile to say, and then it would be easier.</p>
<p>Does she have a roommate? In the beginning that is one of the comforts of a roommmate....having a dining buddy. If roommmate is MIA or she has a single she should ask her hallmates if anyone is going to the dining hall soon. ( as was suggested above)
Hopefully she will get into a pattern soon with hallmates where they actually plan to eat together.
I understand how she feels - it can be awkward. A book does help though, and who knows, someone else may approach her if she is eating alone.
Good luck to her ( did you send lots of snacks? one meal is not a lot of food! )</p>
<p>^ these advices seem good. Again, that is what your roomates are for. When it is time to eat or one roomate is going to the cafeteria, it is only natural to go along with the other roomate or invite him/her along. If some reason you can't go with your roomate, having someone go with you is the second best thing. I would assume your daughter met someone during orientation or at least got acquinted with people from the floor, so she could ask to join someone she recognizes once in the cafeteria or just come with a friend. If she really doesn't know anyone and is not comfortable introducing herself to a random group at a table, I don't think she should have to take the initiative just for the sake of it as it could be very awkward for her. </p>
<p>Other than that, if the problem is just that she desn't feel at ease sitting alone (rather than her not wanting to), there is no reason to worry. Most cafeterias have individual tables and no one is paying attention or judging you--just find something to do so you don't look apprehensive, like reading a book or listening to the ipod.</p>
<p>It should be AT MOST slightly awkward IF someone stares or points it out to you, but not frightening or humiliating. This isn't hs, people have different schedules. Nobody cares about you, they care about themselves. Just don't sit with you're back turned to the cafeteria if you're at the extreme end, sit facing everyone and look around once in a while-it looks less antisocial. People who are comfortable with who they are have no qualms about seeing the occasional movie alone or eating alone-they just do it because they know they could go with friends if they wanted to. Adopt this mentality. People have given you great advice. When I sat alone, I was more than happy to have someone join me and talk to me. Unless someone's a complete jerk, it's no big deal when everyone's new. Jump on it, because social circles solidify quickly. People are more similar than you think. If you have a fear or concern, chances are a lot of people your age share your sentiments</p>
<p>Or pretend to text someone, open a textbook on the table.</p>
<p>As hard as it sounds, I agree with the poster before me who stated that your classmates don't particularily care about you. By that I mean, they don't care if you're eating alone. They don't care if your socks don't match or that your hair isn't perfect. Colleges and universities are big places, as you know, and seeing someone eating alone at lunch is probably not going to stick in anyone's minds when there are a billion more interesting things to preoccupy them. </p>
<p>I understand that being seen eating alone makes one feel self-concious. Its sort of vain and as mentioned, very reminiscent of high school culture. Just be assured, then, that others are just as self-concious as you are. Meaning they don't care about what you, the stranger they don't know eating lunch alone, is doing, they care about what's going on with their lives. </p>
<p>Unless you know for sure that you eating alone sometimes is going to heavily impact your campus community at large, please don't give eating alone much thought either.</p>
<p>I couldn't agree more with the above two posters. They hit the nail on the head.</p>
<p>No one knows if you were sitting with people and they left</p>
<p>I don't get the phobia about sitting alone for a meal in a cafeteria, if you look around lots of people are alone, and many just ask, hey anyone there and sit- sometimes conversation happens, sometimes it doesn't</p>
<p>do NOT do the take out thing as a cop out to eating alone- most likely you won't eat alone and if you do, so what
taking food and hiding somewhere to eat only FEEDS the nervousness</p>
<p>bring a book to peruse of you want</p>
<p>if the OPs D takes the approach that by joining someone else who is alone, she is helping them, that may help</p>
<p>but again the OPs D needs to realize that no one has the time nor inclination to point and snicker if she is eating solo, and if they were that immature in college, they are the ones with issues</p>
<p>to not eat because of fear of people maybe possibly caring is truely sad and I hope the OPs D finds a way to be strong and just do it- it takes just a few times and you learn the sky doen't fall, a spotlight doesn't shine on you and more often then not you will end up eating with someone, and if not once in a while, it matters not, and can actually be calming and peaceful</p>
<p>
[quote]
No one really wants to eat alone.
[/quote]
but I really do want to eat alone.</p>
<p>Actually,I disagree with some of the posts in this thread.</p>
<p>If you really want to meet some people,don't bring your book and read in the dining hall.Nobody will talk to you if they notice that you are busy with something.</p>