Fear of Public Speech...

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

<p>I'm currently a rising-senior ranked #1 in my class. As you know, the #1 and #2 people in each class generally have to deliver a valedictory and salutatory address, respectively, during the graduation ceremony. I have a horrible fear of public speech. Should my GPA remain the highest, is there a way I can flat-out refuse to give a speech or somehow relinquish my valedictorianship to the next person? I honestly will not attend graduation and demand that the school have my diploma mailed to me should it come down to it. My fear of public speech is almost crippling. I begin to stutter and I lose all of my oratory skills (I run sentences together without pausing, I talk so fast that I just slur my words together, etc.) whenever I'm called on to read in class, so reading in front of about 5,000 people, you can imagine.</p>

<p>I know this is probably the last thing on a college-bound senior's mind, but honestly, it's really been plaguing me since the first day of freshman year. Any advice?</p>

2

<p>Be confident. What's there to be afraid of. You're rank 1. You're the best. All eyes up to you.</p>

3

<p>Ha. Those last two sentences make me feel even more fearful of having to speak out in public. I know I'm "the best" based on my GPA. That's just a happenstance thing. I didn't try to be the best. I don't really want to be. "All eyes up to you." That's the worst thing you could've said :-P</p>

4

<p>You knew you were gonna be valedictorian since the first day of 9th grade?</p>

<p>Nice.</p>

<p>More seriously... If you know it's going to be an issue, make it a nonissue. Either write something quickly and just spit it out, or overrehearse the speech to the point where you could do it in your sleep. I'm guessing that the latter option, plus a lot of practice, might work.</p>

<p>Maybe close your eyes while you're speaking and pretend no one else is there.</p>

5

<p>You could do something as an alternative.... like a video with a commentary or something.... that would be fun.</p>

6

<p>Find a good mental health professional. It's not all that unusual, and there are techniques that pros use to coach people in that situation. The speech itself might not be important, but I think you'd feel tremendous accomplishment at being able to deliver it and having that experience will help you later on in college or life. I would hope there will be many other times in your life when you'll stand up and express an opinion in a meeting or add something to a class discussion in college. You've got enough time that you can overcome your difficulties. Good luck - and really, take the advice about seeking help from people who know what they're doing.</p>

7

<p>Does your school have a speech and debate club? I help coach at D's school and i had kids at the beginning of the year who were shaking and terrified to get out of the bus. By the end of the year they had no fear of speaking in front of people. Put yourself in public speaking situations as soon as you can to work through it - American Legion contests, etc. You can do it - the more you do it the more you will trust yourself to get through it.</p>

8

<p>Hmm.. It seems you're really scared about public speaking.. like a phobia. I don't know why. The object of this is not how you say it, but what you have down. Come up with an awesome speech -- and then just blurt it out. They'll be too riveted in the speech to care about your oddities :P. Also, you can memorize the speech, so when the day comes, you'll deliver it mindlessly, without flaw nor thought..</p>

9

<p>Hmm. So there is no way I can get out of it? I know it's an honor that would be a great accomplishment and what not, but I just really don't want it. It's too late to join the "forensics" team (aka debate team), so that's out. I don't think going to a professional is an option, either (don't ask). I wouldn't want to ruin graduation with a mega-speech just blurted out with no emotion or flow. I know this is a stupid thing to do, but I think I'll slack off a little senior year just enough to make me #3 or whatever. My fear of public speech will probably never go away.</p>

10

<p>NO! Don't do that! Rank seems to be really important in college admissions these days. You worked hard, don't blow it off just cuz you can't speak in front of some useless kids. I know that's mean, and your senior class isn't useless, but you have to believe that you ARE BETTER than them. If you feel strong from the inside, you won't have a problem. Some may say it's cocky but really that's the way to tackle the problem. No one else deserves the position you have, you're the only one who should be able to have that HONOR of speaking in front of your class. Honestly. I know it may feel terrifying, but some of the quietest kids I know (two even voted "quietest") can get up in front of a crowd and do it. I've seen them do it, and everyone loves it, because people are interested in you and what you have to say. They want to know who this brilliant kid is. ENJOY the limelight! </p>

<p>I swear you can do it, seriously. You think you can't but if you have the energy and will to be #1, then you SO can get up in front of some kids and give them a 2 min speech (or even less). If you think the speech will be boring, then get some help from someone who can write well, or visit the numerous "help for my valedictorian essay" threads that have been popping up..or look on google for ideas.</p>

<p>Korey I seriously think you can do it but you have this mental attitude where you think you can't but you know deep down you can. I know it, we know it, you know it. Listen to some really fast moving songs before you say the speech to get you pumped up. Practice a whole lot till you practically memorize the speech. I promise you can do it..you've had your mind set on valedictorian for probably ever, don't ruin it because of some stupid little speech. </p>

<p>Maybe the only reason public speech is so "big and bad" is because everyone makes it seem that way..but if you think about it, it's really not that horrible. You get up, look at some people, make sure you have confidence, tell em what you wanna say, and that's it! That's ALL! Nothing big or bad there. </p>

<p>Okay korey, I'm going to make one last thing to give you some confidence, because that's all you need. You don't need a professional or anything. Just practice your speech, put in some extra hair gel, listen to something really fast to get pumped up cuz you know that you are so ready to do this and everyone WANTS to see you. :)</p>

<p>Best of luck to you!
You CAN do it!</p>

11

<p>You need to speak, being able to speak to a lot of people is an important skill and this will force you to try to acquire the skill. Practice speaking in front of friends, family, maybe teachers or administrators if you know them at all. See if you can practice alone in the place you'll be speaking and just get used to speaking there. Everyone will think that you are brilliant no matter what you say (as long as it at least makes SOME sense) so the content isn't even that important, as long as you mention some bits about the school, college, the future, etc. As silly as this might sound, you could try to convince yourself that it will be a lot of fun, turn the nerves into excitement. I really think that getting the courage to speak at graduation could be a life-changing experience for you.</p>

12

<p>congratulations on being number 1! that's quite an accomplishment. like you, i used to fear public speaking but was able to overcome it by taking a speech class (a requirement for sophomores) and by finding confidence in other areas of school life. the issue for me was speaking english fluently, because i grew up speaking another language. i would have to think in terms of that language and then translate into english. that's why participating in small talk made me more nervous than giving prepared speeches, because the former is spontaneous. my word choice, even now, sounds awkward given the context in which i say the words. my friend still makes fun of me for saying "you simulated the movement of a guitar player" (or was it "you emulated a guitar player) when i could have just said "you went like this with your guitar." the first one is how it would literally translate into my native tongue. i actually have to make a deliberate effort to use everyday speaking terms, or i risk sounding like i'm "trying hard" to use big words. debating with exonians and paulies students certainly prompted me to think quickly on my feet and to hold my ground. class discussions were also a constant challenge...i stuttered all the time, but my peers were very understanding. i preferred that they continue to challenge my opinions, so they did. i'm a much better speaker/talker as a result.</p>

<p>i can empathize with you. believe me, i can. every time i gave a speech, my voice and legs would shake. having said that, i still encourage you to face your fear, otherwise you will never get over it. what may help is talking about this fear as the subject of your speech. for example, our class president wrote about how uneasy she felt writing the election speech. many in the audience could relate, so the more they wanted her to win. acknowledging your fear in front of an audience will give you confidence-- it will help just knowing that you're not hiding anything. they will feel more compassion towards you if you do stutter or shake. at this point, don't think of something so profound and untested (before an audience) that you will feel all the more nervous saying it. just think in simple terms, like your fear of public speaking and then say how it relates to larger themes like overcoming embarrassment or fear in life. because the subject is one you've dealt with constantly since freshman year, it's a good one to get out in the open for the first time. it will help reveal that even the #1 kid is not "perfect." don't just let it go...it's a good opportunity for you to earn their respect (if you don't have it already). talk about your high school experience...that would make for an interesting, heartwarming speech.</p>

<p>on the other hand, if you choose not to deliver the speech, my other idea is to create a documentary to project onto a large screen. it will be something different and refreshing, i'm sure. you could talk about your high school years, so others could have a better understanding of what being valedictorian has been like. </p>

<p>i hope you don't jeopardize your #1 rank just because of this. good luck to you and let us know how it goes, ok?</p>

13

<p>Just Do It!</p>

14

<p>Hmm. All the words of encouragement are quite nice, but honestly, they all boil down to what killaerone said: "Just do it!" Unfortunately, I cannot "just do it." If I could, I wouldn't have made this post. I wasn't really looking for people to tell me that I can do it. I was more looking to see if my position is understood or even commonplace, and how people tell their school administrators that they refuse to give a speech. Sorry to let anyone down.</p>

15

<p>NO! don't ruin your class rank; you'll hate yourself forever. Sit down, talk to yourself, and think of how to do it.. you'll feel so great after pulling this off. Also, you can give a speech without thinking, but with emotion :P.</p>

16

<p>Ugh.. I'm posting again to tell you not to ruin your rank. It ****es me off just to hear that. Seriously, don't do it.</p>

17

<p>Korey, be rational here. You spent your whole high school years trying to be #1 and you're just going to flush it all down because of a speech? A speech? A measly 1 min speech? Listen, you're obviously a smart kid and I just can't understand why anyone in the world would do that. I know it's tough, but we seriously need to toughen up at 1 point or another and face those fears. </p>

<p>Let's say you convinced your principal that you suddenly became sick that day, and got your diploma the next day. Well, it may work this time, but really, there will be other times where you're forced to give that speech or lose your job. And you won't be able to give some excuse. </p>

<p>Gianscolere had some good advice, just tell the audience what you'll present and show the slideshow and say your last words if you don't wanna say much. I think if it's hard for you to present a speech, then it will be even harder to present these fears in the speech--but right now it doesn't matter what's in the speech, but if you're gonna have the guts to even say the darn thing. So far 100% of the posters have agreed that you shouldn't let go of your hard earned rank because of a trivial speech no one will really remember a while from now anyway.</p>

<p>I'm sure many people here are shy/were shy but they are able to overcome that, I seriously think you can too. You're just so convinced that you can't. Most everyone here gives good advice, I think if everyone agrees to keep your good rank, then you should definently keep it. If you are so so so certain you can't do it, call in sick for the whole week or something so they're forced to do the show without you. But you're going to have to give speeches in the future, and evading this one will make it more difficult.</p>

18

<p>thumbs up to sarorah!</p>

<p>But if you REALLY don't want to give a speech.. i mean.. REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want to.. up to the point of pulling your rank down to #3 (** DON'T DO THAT!!!**)............... just call in sick............Like really really sick..... REALLY SICK... or like... you got tonsolitus (sp?) or a throat infection and you lost your voice... you can attend the ceremony but say you got a really bad throat and you cant talk.. I had that once. I think it was called tonsolitus (sp???)</p>

<p>If it's too late to get ready for the speech.. (joining debate teams,etc..), and your last resort is pushing down your rank.. i highly suggest the above. You can always improve this at college or something. But I think lowering your rank will hurt you.. just for a speech.</p>

19

<p>Remember--you have a whole year to get ready for your speech, and what you consider horrifying now won't necessarily be the same ~365 days later. This is your chance to improve! Try volunteering more in classes senior year to build up some confidence-start small, like answering straightforward questions w/definite answers (math class), then 'graduate' to longer, more subjective stuff. If you're taking AP English next year (you're definitely smart enough to), your grade will depend on participation in class discussions, so raise your hand constantly and voice your opinions. It might be uncomfortable, even overwhelming at first, but don't give up. Gianscolere1 is right: don't worry about messing up-crack your voice, turn beet red, tremble, slur sentences all you want-it's all natural so just let it happen. You can't suppress nervousness so just let it show. And over time, you WILL get more comfortable and less worried about trying to sound perfect-you'll be saying what you think and feel and it'll feel right and natural. Trust me, in my class kids have said so many dumb things that anything equally dumb (you can't get any dumber than the dumbest kid in your class, which isn't you) won't matter, and an average to brilliant comment, even if stuttered, will have a welcoming reception. Trust me, experience is the only way to deal with this. You can't turn nerves on and off like that and you can't simply 'switch on' the confidence instantly-no one can. But with well-spent time, dedication, and patience, not only will you be able to give a kickass graduation speech, but you'll also feel proud and more comfortable about yourself in general. So like I said...DON'T GIVE UP! GO KOREY GO!</p>

20

<p>I hope your college doesn't require you to take a public speaking class to get a degree.</p>