That child was accepted to Georgetown and BC, though. Were they not good enough?
It is a let-down to have to seriously consider schools that were added to the lists as safeties or even targets, when the mindset was that all those HPYMC et. Al schools were going to be welcoming kids with open arms.
For some who were already buying the Harvard sweatshirts, it can disappointment to “settle” for Cornell
“This time not sure that it even makes sense to apply to any Ivy League schools. Don’t want to set another child up for disappointment.”
I would look at this a different way. If they understand it’s a reach and, while it’s legitimate to feel disappointment, it doesn’t mean they’ve failed in any way then I would apply if they want to. It won’t be the last time your child hears “no”. They will never hear “yes” if they don’t apply. Just be happy where they land. It will make the process less stressful.
Kids and parents can gripe but the most important thing is to be realistic. Schools with acceptance rates near 8% accept 8/100 kids. We found it easier to wrap our brains around that number as a fraction. It is what it is. Don’t fill out applications for those schools if you can’t accept that you’ll most likely be rejected. S19 had a friend who applied to all Ivies except Cornell. Rejected at all. It did NOT FEEL good. No way around it. That friend is headed to U of Chicago but all of those rejections took a toll. Think hard about whether it makes sense to take the time to apply to a slew of super elite schools and brace yourself for lots of no’s. And, let’s face it, Ivies are different from one another and very few kids “fit” at all of them. Universities can sniff that out and they want the kids who really fit their school.
This is about parents’ tempering the message. I had an advantage of doing alumni meetings for the past two + decades so I’ve seen first hand amazing kids getting rejected year after year (and yes, it’s worse now but it’s never been great). A college rejection does not diminish a students’ efforts, smarts, accomplishments, nor does it say anything about a students’ potential to succeed in life. It just means that there were too many kids from your part of the state/country, with the same projected major, who played soccer or oboe, or whatever. Colleges are trying to balance their class plain and simple. It’s not personal. Schools with sub 20% acceptance rates, let alone those with sub 10%, should be discussed in proper context. No one should expect to be admitted. No one. We should all be telling kids to plan on being rejected and focus on the match and reach schools. Manage the expectations!
I went to Harvard, but I don’t get this mania for the Ivy’s, nor the reverse snobbism either. I think most people don’t realize that 90% of the people who apply to the elite colleges are in the running - so a 5% acceptance rate doesn’t mean that you will get in if you are in the top 1% of your class. If your kid is going to feel badly about getting a lot of rejections maybe they should only apply to safety colleges. My kids went in with their eyes wide open. Son 1 applied to 8 colleges and got rejected from half of them. He had two excellent choices and ended up choosing the non-Ivy choice. Son 2 applied to 7 colleges and got rejected from 3 of them, he also had two great choices, one of which is now more selective than many Ivies.
Is it a different landscape? Absolutely. I went to a girl’s prep school in the 1970s just after a bunch of Ivy League schools went co-ed. We had 6 at Harvard, 4 at Yale and 2 at Princeton. These days they are lucky to get one in.
“A 5% acceptance rate doesn’t mean that you will get in if you are in the top 1% of your class.”
And this is an “A- average, top 20% in class” kid. In what universe would any parent think they ought to be able to go to an Ivy League college?
Homer’s point should be reinforced every time a parent talks to a kid about “the list”. 92 rejected. Most people believe that the vast majority of those 92 are “Hail Mary Pass” applicants- low GPA and test scores, but granddad has been giving $2500 to his class gift since 1953.
As an alum who interviewed- gosh, you cannot believe how talented some of the “rejects” are. But a college orchestra does not need 250 violas, and the newspaper doesn’t need 300 talented sports photographers, and the university couldn’t handle an entire freshman class filled with CS majors. So whatever your kid’s secret sauce is- you just don’t know what the rest of the pool (which is very wide, and very deep) looks like. And yes- there are kids from Wyoming who play the viola, and there are kids from Montana who are talented sports photographers, and if your kid is from Scarsdale or Winnetka or Atherton, he or she may get shut out by a kid whose profile is similar- but grew up on a ranch, or whose parents are missionaries and have served in Uganda and Bhutan and so this “All American” kid has a fascinating life story overseas for part of HS in addition to being Val and off the charts test scores.
Reinforce the rejection rate- just so everyone understands the odds.
For many applicants, “fit” is defined by exclusivity or prestige. But the colleges see enough prestige seekers, so “fit” from their point of view is different.
Somehow I find it difficult to believe that someone would apply to every single Ivy for anything else but prestige because they all are different. My very high stats student only applied to two of them that had strong programs in the area of interest. I suggest that your student apply to schools based on intended major and general fit.
I got into Cornell with 3.0 high school gpa but with 99.9% SAT — I doubt that’s possible now. And my ORM kid with 33 ACT and 3.9 gpa applied to only one top private college because he felt he was a good fit for that particular college. He did not think he was a good fit for HYPM. Besides, he had no energy to work hard on other applications.
Agreed. This seems to happen a lot, and somehow I suspect those “Why ___?” essays turn out a bit inauthentic.
“But the colleges see enough prestige seekers, so “fit” from their point of view is different.”
Lol, kiss of death to be generic. As it is, too many kids admit they want prestige. Top colleges would like to see you understand them and what differentiates their community, structure and offerings. Yes, it’s work- and work beyond what it takes to just be a good high school student.
My high stats kid with no hooks took Ivies (except Cornell where she ended up WL) off the table b/c: 1) we emphasized the lottery nature of an acceptance and 2) she felt like she wouldn’t want to be around the combination of ‘old money’ families and ‘automoton’ super duper high achievers who would be her classmates. Was so glad she made that decision as she never would have been accepted anyway.
Does that mean that Cornell has no “high achievers” or “old money” students ? I guess “new Money” is OK? ?
@Rivet2000 – She applied b/c of a specific and unusual program in CALS that she was interested in around international development and food production. That said, I do think Cornell feels less elite than other Ivies. 