Feedback needed for Statement of Purpose (Master of Art Therapy)

Hi friend! I am applying for Master of Art Therapy and need your kind advice for my statement of purpose. Appreciate for your constructive suggestion!

Prompts:
Explaining your purpose in undertaking graduate study in this particular program as part of your application. This is your opportunity to introduce yourself and to inform the admissions committee about your goals, interests, and career plans as they relate to your intended academic pursuits.[R][/R]

Since I was a child, I enjoyed reading, writing, drawing and doing art and crafts. I was only 12 years old when I started journaling practice and attain clarity through self-reflection by putting feeling into words. On the other hand, the evidence-based systematic exploration and precision of scientific knowledge has fascinated me so much and captivated me into the science stream when I was 15. In the same year, I recovering from car accident psychological trauma by seeing a psychologist and this experience infused me with the motivation of improving people mental wellness. Thus, during my undergraduate studies, I decided to major in Psychology.

Being an observant and delicate person, my interest in clinical psychology drives me to complete an additional 25 credits in Clinical Psychology and Child and Family Studies Department during my undergraduate studies. I was first exposed to art therapy under the guidance of Dr. xxxx, an art therapist and counselor. I was deeply intrigued by the creative approach where visual images were always ahead to reflect our minds. The mask making experience guided me toward the path of unconditional self-acceptance. Since then, I have been thinking of embrace art therapy as my future career and was inspired to make differences in people in needs with this amazing approach. With the intention to ignite self-mental care awareness in urban population, I held a graduation exhibition, Breath of Courage Under Pressure which displays my art therapy and photography artworks. During my Yoga Teacher Training in India, I have present my essay, Brief Introduction to Integration of Art Therapy and Yoga in front of international Yoga practitioners from all walk of life as my graduation project.

After graduation, I have followed my passion and venture into the mental health profession. I have the opportunity to understand people from different cultures and races especially those who suffer from physical and emotional challenge. In my last job, I have transferred to the Case Management Department as the Executive Director observed my strong compassion in clients. I get to understand the clients further through their social background, identify their social, physical and emotional needs and eventually advocate for the rights of the vulnerable. I felt gratifying when defense the safety of a teenager who suffers from genetic disorders by admitting him to the nursing home in view of incompetence cares at home. Also, when elderly residents enjoyed art-making activities such as leaf printing which facilitated by me. I can truly see how art can benefit vulnerable elderly by assisting them in self-expression especially for those with dementia and have lost their verbal communication ability, improve their cognitive function and boost their self-esteem. This experience has strengthened my interest in providing necessary emotional support with art therapy.

The broad social works job scope had sharpened my communication, interpersonal, multitasking and organizational skills. However, it unable to fulfill my desire to meet clients’ emotional needs in depth through art due to lack of professional training even though I went through many training. I am eager to learn the integration of art in the therapeutic framework, and its application across people of different ages especially children with special needs as I felt helpless when facing my niece who was on the autism spectrum. Her accidental death after falling from own apartment last year has reinforced my determination in helping and advocating for vulnerable population.

My limitation had awakened me to pursue my graduate study in the United States, in view of the comprehensive training and internship opportunities. xxx’s profound curriculum emphasis on the foundation of art therapy on child, adolescent and adult from multicultural is matching with my interest completely. The wide and practical internship experience will definitely enhance my skills and abilities to work with people who struggle emotionally in the future. I can foresee the insightful learning experience under the program faculties who have extensive clinical experience and active involvement in community works. The faculties dedication to 9/11 survivors and their families touched me and motivate me to be one of the change agents in society.

After 8 years of working experience in non- profit organizations within the healthcare sector, I am ready to get the most out of my experience and pursue my dream in Art Therapy. People with mental illnesses likely suffer in silence due to misconception. To debunk the myth, I believe art therapy as an alternative and affable psychotherapy treatment are comparatively more accessible than conventional psychotherapy. As a daring person, I want to equip myself with art therapy knowledge and use this relatively new profession in xxx to provide professional mental support to clients in the future and eventually increase public awareness.

I am putting my employment on hold to attend the studio art program full time for the prerequisite requirement. Meantime, I start teaching yoga on a freelance basis in order to fulfill my passion for healing people. I strongly believe that I can accomplish my career goals to make differences for struggled people with xxx’s eminent education and my strong determination and commitment.

Do you have a mentor or professor or advisor who could help you revise this? If you have been out of school for awhile and don’t have those resources, I’d advise you to read the book Graduate Admissions Essays.

Your SOP reads like most people’s first attempt at addressing the prompt. There is nothing wrong with that. You are just going to need to work on refining it and avoiding common pitfalls if you want a polished essay that stands out.

Good Luck!

Not to offend, but you need help with basic grammar. For general advice about SOPS and Personal Statements, see https://forum.thegradcafe.com/forum/73-statement-of-purpose-personal-history-diversity/