Feedback Please?

<p>I will soon be sending in my college application, I would like some feedback on either one of my personal statements. If anyone would be so kind to help me out, please let me know. I can e-mail my essays. Thank you!</p>

<p>Send them to me and i will include some helpful comments.</p>

<p>Though it would be better to just post it here so everyone can assist you.</p>