<p>I think that’s true, and I think there are a lot of reasons for that. I for one researched the crap out of financial aid and loans and knew every intricate detail of what I was doing-- my parents wouldn’t help me, so either I had to figure it out or I wasn’t going. But I still made mistakes because of immaturity, knowing every detail wasn’t enough-- I knew what my payments would be, what my responsibilities would be, what ways I could and could NOT get out of the loans, but I didn’t know realistically how much money I’d be making versus how much it’d take to pay these loans and support myself, nor did I end up studying what I thought I was going to be either which threw a huge wrench in things. I had Plan A, B, and C for how I was going to pay back these loans and still be able to support myself, but I didn’t know enough to know that they wouldn’t work. I should have, and I thought I had all my bases covered after months and months of research, but I didn’t. Immaturity won out.</p>
<p>I also know that it is an overwhelming amount of information, and the attitude that is projected to us a lot of the time is, “well, it’ll all work out somehow.” When I told my guidance counselor I was going to community college, she actually got angry and encouraged me to keep pushing to go to a 4 year, saying “just keep going after your dreams, and one way or another the money will be there.” I think too many of the kids whose parents aren’t footing the bill are in way over their heads well before they ever have the loan documents in front of them for their signature.</p>
<p>I also distinctly remember the prevailing attitude when I was in high school being College = Financial Security. No College = Poverty and Struggle. If someone suggested not going to college, or only getting an associates, or even going to a CC, the response would be, “but don’t you want to get a good job?” I think a lot of people don’t realize that going to college doesn’t necessarily mean their financial future is taken care of… maybe they are more aware of that now that the job market being so terrible is so commonly talked about, but in 2007 when I was a high school senior that was only just barely on our radar. And besides, things can’t POSSIBLY not be better in 4 years, right!?</p>
<p>I think for so many parents, college just isn’t a part of their world and they don’t know that the hearsay stuff they are hearing isn’t true, and the kids are out of their depth. For people that know better, I don’t know what their excuse is. Seems everybody would be better off if they read CC. :P</p>
<p>I think it’s normal to be a little upset that your parents won’t pay more but 3000 is a lot of money and I’d be thrilled with 300, let a lone 3000. Rage, on the other hand, is ridiculous to feel towards your parents who supported you for 18 years and are generously giving you 3k in assistance. I mean, my parents don’t make much and don’t have anything saved so they can’t help me and I’m not mad at them at all. I sucked it up and got a job, went to a CC for a couple of years and now I’m transferring to a university and will get loans to pay for it. You gotta do what you gotta do, and realize you’re in a better spot than a large number of students and be happy that they help at all. Just my opinion.</p>
<p>^ I don’t think that’s ridiculous at all. It seems most parents don’t realize that students have to include their parent’s financials on the FAFSA and they are, in both the government’s and university’s eyes, expected to help pay towards their children’s education. I’m assuming at a $140k salary, the parent’s EFC is easily $15,000-20,000. This will also render OP ineligible for many forms of aid. If the parents want to neglect the responsibility of helping their own child receive a good college education (and this is for a $22k/yr school - most likely a “cheap” state school, not an expensive private university) then I think it is understandable for OP to feel a bit of anger towards their parents. </p>
<p>This sense of “parents need not help”, imo, is unfair. If the FAFSA didn’t require parental income, then fine - I completely understand that parents shouldn’t be required to contribute to their children’s education. Otherwise, it creates lots of stresses for children with stubborn, ungenerous parents.</p>
<p>It may be reaching a time when students, upon graduating high school, need to work for a few years and build up their credit. At age 24, apply to college as an independent on the FAFSA so that only the student’s income would be considered. Then any extra expenses not covered in aid or scholarships could be taken out with loans - students who built up their credit probably wouldn’t need a co-signer at that point, and so they could go wherever they want without parental interference. They should also have a bit of savings since they’ve been working full-time for 6 years, and maybe lived at home most of that time to save on living expenses.</p>
<p>I think this would actually be better in many ways - gain work experience to help you decide what to study in college, you’re more mature at 24, so you’ll probably take your studies more seriously, graduate college with 6 years of work experience and a degree, then head in whatever direction your heart desires. It would end this type of argument, kids would have 6 years to save while working full time so they can lower their costs when they do attend college. I think if I could do it all over again, this is the route I would take.</p>
<p>Honestly, I think FAFSA’s way of calculating your aid eligibility is flawed. However it would be very hard to fix it. </p>
<ol>
<li><p>All aid could be evenly distributed OR</p></li>
<li><p>AId could be only distributed amongst those whose parents are not helping
-but rich families would then claim that they would not help and those students would get aid that they would not have actually needed OR</p></li>
<li><p>Aid could be based on income of student & parents</p></li>
</ol>
<p>In most but definitely not all cases the third option is most equitable.</p>
<p>NovaLynnx- That does seem like a good option for most. However, I am ready to get in and out of college ASAP. I’m doing engineering and going into a state school so it seems more sensible to load up on a few thousand extra debt rather than waste several years of potential engineering experience.</p>
<p>Whatdidyou- I agree #3 is the most fair. The OP is expressing anger at his parents, not the government/university - which seems more appropriate.</p>
<p>If the parents are unable or unwilling to pay the financial aid system’s notion of EFC to the student’s college education, then the student needs to make an application list aimed at finding big merit scholarships or very inexpensive schools (including community college) that will not require large debt loads.</p>
<p>Of course, the parents need to inform the student of cost constraints before the application list is made, rather than say “don’t worry about the cost now, we’ll figure it out later” and then later (after application and scholarship deadlines have passed) say that they cannot or will not contribute the EFC amount.</p>
<p>Truth is, many cannot continue to live with their parents to save money, and many live in areas where they cannot find jobs in fields remotely close to what they are interested in. (of course, many can) Working six years somewhere out of your desired field might only get you further from your goal, and set you back from the starting point. Finding at entry level job at 30 is a bit demeaning, and at that point you want to be making a bit more money.</p>
<p>I’m not saying NovaLynx’s ideas are bad, many do it this way, and they have to, but it’s not an ideal solution, it’s making do. (which is what we do)</p>
<p>Getting back to the idea of living with parents: it’s a case by case thing. Its not always the good solution that people throw out. It depends on the family situation.</p>
<p>I think it is unfair to question the OPs anger towards his/her parents. Don’t judge, you don’t know the whole story. It is important for people to be in touch with how they feel, also, and not stifle it, after being told they are wrong. You can tell the OP the other side, but don’t tell them their feelings are silly or immoral or immature.</p>
<p>I can really understand your frustration and I hope that you are able to talk to your parents to work things out. You said something about them getting defensive when you talk to them and I just want to strongly recommend that when you do talk to them, you avoid talking about what your see them doing and keep the focus on your circumstances. They will naturally get defensive if, in even mentioning their trips, etc., they feel accused…then the conversation will go nowhere. Keep the focus on you, the costs, what you have done and what you need. Perhaps even come with a specific request…like will they just pay for the meal plan, etc.
You also mentioned trying to get through school quickly to avoid more debt. You probably already have, but consider that perhaps taking fewer classes and working might allow you to make enough money to keep from accumulating that debt.
I hope it goes well.</p>
<p>My mom was like this with college. Never gave me a dime and physically beat me up for asking them to sign the forms for government loans. I worked fulltime and went to college and finish in three years. I know your pain. It did affect my grades. I had to pay to bury my mom because she was terrible with money. Some parents are just horrible. My dad wanted to help with college but my mom kept the purse strings at that time. My parents divorced because my mom wanted out. The flip side is that my Dad left us money when he died. </p>
<p>It might be time to remind them you are the one that will be responsible for their care when they are older. If they don’t budge, then you know what to do.</p>
<p>ETA: No parent should let their child go hungry.</p>
<p>I am sure they will not be very happy about it but to be honest they are wrong. No child should be going hungry. No one can eat on $50 a month. They have the money. It would be very different if they did not. This type of behavior can cause such deep pain and he may never get over it. This lack of food can not be good for his still growing body. </p>
<p>Sure it is his choice to attend college but I do not believe parenting stops at 18 anymore. His parents are not even close to covering their EFC. They can fork over a few more bucks for his food.</p>
<p>I agree that unless there’s something about this we don’t know then it’s surprising that they wouldn’t care that their kid is starving. But I also think telling the people who provided for you for the last 18 years that you deserve money from them because you will be choosing their nursing home in a few decades is probably not the best tactic if you want to have a chance of actually changing their minds.</p>
<p>The EFC is high even for a family making what most would consider a “low” amount of money… so EFC should not be held against the parents.
Time for a reality check. Got to school where you can afford to go- with or without help from Mom & Dad. Start taking charge of your own life. Parents are responsible for preparing you for college, 18 is the age of Majority in many states…</p>
<p>This sense of entitlement has to end, it is destroying this country.</p>
<p>This guy is not complaining about anything but going hungry and needing a little more help. He is not asking for money so he can have fun. He just needs a little help over the next couple of years. He doesn’t sound like he is on the spend all my money and time doing beer in college either. He is working hard and overloading. Yeah we can all argue college is a luxury but the reality is that we need hard working college educated people to do certain jobs. </p>
<p>Really doesn’t cost that much less to go to CC unless you can live at your parents. Then it would still costs his parents more than 3k to support him. They would have to provide food, shelter, utilities and transportation. This would cost closer to 10k or more. Plus his books and tuition would be close to 5k or more. So he would save 7k maybe. Since he has already finished a year of college he would have to transfer twice and not get the kind of aid he got as a freshman. He may save 7k this coming year but lose 20k to 30k over the third and forth year. I am assuming he got a good FA package/merit at his better college. Either way he is more than likely deep into his sophmore year by the time this year is over. He could be a rising junior for all we know.</p>
<p>I just question how OP ended up in this spot? “feeling overwhelming rage” sounds like he was surprised? I dont know… but I suspect there are 2 sides to this story.</p>
<p>Well, it comes down to the parents not being able or willing to pay the financial aid system’s notion of EFC for the student’s college. Then it comes down to essentially two possibilities:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>The parents informed the student before the application list was made, but the student did not tailor the application list appropriately (e.g. seeking big merit scholarship schools, considering community college or military service, etc.).</p></li>
<li><p>The parents did not inform or misled the student before the application list was made, so the student was left high and dry with applications and acceptances only to schools that require too much debt.</p></li>
</ol>