<p>Hi, guys. I don't know if any of you ever feel inferior to your peers, but I definitely have been lately. :/</p>
<p>I tranferred to this school last year from a really terrible one... my average is only about 92%... lowest ever. I'm in grade ten, taking grade eleven math. I only have 75% in that class because for the first two months of the year everyone was doing review while I was learning things I'd never seen before. Plus my teacher never gives us tests anymore. :( </p>
<p>I used to have 98-99 in math... always. Now I feel like an idiot when I see kids who have those marks. I understand all of the material but my mark doesn't improve because we don't have any tests! When we do he never bothers to mark them anyway... I told him about my worries & he said not to worry because he knows I came from a bad school & he will adjust my mark based on how I've progressed. But still, how much can he adjust it? I am so afraid... I know next year I'll be back to at least 95 in math because I'm caught up, but... still... I feel like such a failure.</p>
<p>Oh & also... math contests. I hate them, but I love them at the same time. This year I totally screwed up on the Cayley & didn't even bother to write a bunch of other contests because I was so mad at myself. Stupid, I know. I definitely am. It just feels so terrible knowing that there are people who did so much better than I did... & they either gloat about it or have people that do it for them. I don't like it...</p>
<p>Sorry, I know I sound like a stupid whiner... I'm just really disappointed in myself. I want so badly to get into a top-tier university, but I just feel like I suck.</p>
<p>It's weird... I'm doing a lot better than other people in every other subject & in math I'm a grade ahead so I consider myself level with the kids in that class... it's just math that's killing me. It's the one subject I love most & I know I understand all of it! If only I had a chance to prove to my teacher that I know it before the exam... I hope he gives us lots more tests, as weird as that may sound. I feel dumber than everyone. I feel like they're all going to get into the Ivies & I'll amount to nothing. Just because of math... which also lowered my average.</p>
<p>I apologize for the rant. Has anyone ever been in the same boat as I'm in now? I know it's irrational to think this way but I really hate myself for this... it's not even my fault, though. All I want is to make a big difference in the world someday. Math contests aren't going to help me do that, so maybe I won't be a failure compared to the kids who do well on them... right?</p>