Feeling ripped off

Parent Cafe
1

<p>My s did so well in difficult classes, excelled at SAT, took all the AP's, had a few solid extracurriculars (that he really loved and weren't for colleges), wrote his hear out in the essays ... and got turned down from everywhere that wasn't a safety school. I know it's the year with so many kids and all that, but I still feel badly for him. He had a safety he really liked and enrolled so we did our job all around. But, I feel ripped off. The school counselors and private counselors didn't do a good job this year--they were caught off guard at the type of rejections that came in. </p>

<p>Only silver lining is that we hope that the other students at his school will be more qualified than prior years because of all this so that he isn't too far ahead of the other kids and some cohorts to study with.</p>

2

<p>He sounds like a fine student who will ask around to find the best professors and interesting or tougher courses at the safety. That’s a way to find challenge and meet similarly motivated students as cohorts. </p>

<p>Maybe redirect your research now to the backgrounds and specialty areas of the professors themselves, listed deep in the current course catalogue online. That’s where the hidden gems are. A stand-out kid can really bond with professors who will recognize him as an upper student. I wouldn’t worry about his being “too far ahead of the other kids” because he’ll have many choices of courses and professors now, instead of just the assigned high school schedule. </p>

<p>Some professors schedule 8:00 a.m. courses or sections, simply to bring on the most motivated students. See “ratemyprofessor.com” if it still exists (did last year). Also, your S can use facebook and his own antennae once on campus to ask around and choose challenging courses and profs. If someone says X is a “good prof” find out why they mean “good” .. interesting lectures and classes, or slack grading..and make choices accordingly. </p>

<p>EC’s also play a major role in finding intelligent friends, and there’s no guarantee that studying together is the best way, anyway. He can gather to study in tandem with others even if they are studying different courses.</p>

<p>EDIT: I also am reading that the quality professors are penetrating down the tiers. There are many quality scholars trained, yet not enough teaching spots for them in top tiers, so they go where they can work. That’s what I mean by “hidden gems” among the professors at a safety school.</p>

<p>If others can elaborate on this^^I’d really appreciate it. I think once a student gets onto campus, it’s the actual professors that make it great within the classroom. My S chooses his profs very carefully, asking around a lot before he registers. He’s very satisfied and inspired to learn in their classes, talks to us about what he’s learning on holidays, and more.</p>

3

<p>If it makes you feel any better, my daughter chose what might be considered a “safety” school and it is working out wonderfully for her. She has a great relationship with her advisor and has been recommended for internships and other opportunities that she may have missed had she been in a very competitive environment. She has found the classes interesting and has been able to get involved in many campus activities. She has been able to stand out to some of her professors enough that she will be able to ask them for recommendations as well. She is surrounded by a diverse group of students and has friends who are similar to her in academics and ambition. I feel like she is able to really get the whole college experience with her choice. She just found out that she got an amazing internship for the summer and I don’t know if that would have happened if she had gone elsewhere. Things have a way of working out. : )
It sounds like your son will be able to make a great experience whereever he lands!</p>

4

<p>Ya know you have to take the mindset of “it’s their loss.” </p>

<p>He’s going to get into college and it will be what ever he makes it to be. He can choose to have a great time, as kids don’t realize they can control their experiences… </p>

<p>good luck</p>

5

<p>With AP’s, he may be able to opt out of some of the 101 coursework. My son had AP French and was able to test into a 300 level French course. Also, sometimes profs will give permission for a student to take a course without the prereq. if asked. What P3T says about high quality profs at many, many schools is true–also that other great students will be in the same position as your son because of this crunch year. I’d be here venting too if it happened to my son though!</p>

<p>And give yourself (and your son of course!) a HUGE pat on the back for locating and applying to a safer school that he really liked!</p>

6

<p>yeah you know there is nothing wrong and a lot right with choosing a “safety” school. (I hate that term - safety school)
My two oldest went to schools that were safeties. They both had marvelous experiences and were taught but terrific professors.
Embrace your son’s “safety school” and don’t look back! Even for a second.</p>

7

<p>By October, it will be his first choice.</p>

8

<p>Just toured a school with my D2. The tour guide was our dear friend for whom this was a safety. She’s a sophomore and couldn’t be happier. She has great grades, small classes, and is in a number of leadership positions, influencing the direction of the university. She proudly showed off her campus, introduced us to her friends, and bragged about her school. Things have a way of working out…</p>

9

<p>Like your son, every student should have a safety he really likes. And like mini says, by Oct it will have become his first choice.</p>

10

<p>Here’s the perspective of a wise, not just bright, student (propdiva) that you might like reading: [cty_therapy:</a> Seniors: where ya headed?](<a href=“http://community.livejournal.com/cty_therapy/460316.html?thread=5440796#t5440796]cty_therapy:”>http://community.livejournal.com/cty_therapy/460316.html?thread=5440796#t5440796)</p>

11

<p>My S chose a safe/match school which he loved and which showed him the love with great merit $$. Unfortunately, it was Tulane. Post-Katrina, they eliminated his major. He had to transfer and transferred “up” to a top school (not HYPS/Ivy, but top). He doesn’t like it as well as Tulane.</p>

<p>Here’s to the “safe” school. Doesn’t mean it’s inferior. Not at all.</p>

12

<p>Cheer up. Given the size of next year’s cohort of h.s. seniors, this year’s safety school would have become next year’s match school.</p>

13

<p>For your son, it was a safety - for others it’s a dream school. In a little while it may be his dream school as well. </p>

<p>We can sit here all day and tell people what a tough admissions “market” it is these days… but I still feel a little bitter toward the school that waitlisted my son last year! Like “who do they think they are?” This despite him being absolutely in love with the college he is attending (or he was in love with it, until the recent room pick lottery. But he’ll get over that.)</p>

14

<p>D1 is thrilled at her safety and is in her second year. I was surprised but this school ( and coach)just clicked for her. She is the big fish in the little pond and she is blossoming both socially and academically. We are glad that we didn’t push her towards “our” choice for her.</p>

15

<p>Having gone through a tough PhD admissions myself (where acceptance rates are even lower), I’ve learned to forget and move on. I’ve been amazed how well I’m taking the rejections compared to four years ago. I do want to make some points that I’ve learned over the last four years. It is not to say that Colgate isn’t a safety (definitely not… 23.7% admit rate this year) but it certainly didn’t have all the things that I wanted that I will be able to take advantage of in graduate school.</p>

<p>1) Definitely take the mindset that it will be your son’s school’s gain to have him and the reach schools’ loss. </p>

<p>Case in mind: My dream school for PhD flat out rejected me, not even an offer for a MA. I decided that the best revenge would be to do well elsewhere and then reapply there. Then they’ll wonder “Why did we reject her again? We’ve just screwed ourselves…” In addition, one of the other PhD programs, I asked for a MA consideration and within a week of submitting my MA application, they accepted me. The professor told my seminar professor how excited she is for me to come in the fall because once she saw my revised MA application, she knew that she couldn’t lose me to another school.</p>

<p>And it also worked for my transfer case. Once Colgate saw that I could do the work, they quickly accepted me for transfer the following year and haven’t regretted since.</p>

<p>2) As paying3tuitions said, if your son’s motivated and willing, professors will take notice. The difference in treatment by the professors to him will be dramatically different from other students. They’ll respect him much more of as a graduate student/protege than some student passing through. They’ll pay attention and give their time and energy to guide him along.</p>

<p>Case in point: One of my professors noticed how motivated I was and my enthuasism as a 2nd semester sophomore and said, “Hey, we’re hiring a post-doc that’s really in your area of interest, you should sign up for his class in the fall!” Even though he’s in religion and I’m in history, he’s always had my back. My major advisor only really started taking notice and treated me on a higher level of respect at the beginning of my senior year when I started taking her class and began applying to graduate schools.</p>

<p>3) College is what you make of it and you will get rewarded.</p>

<p>Case in point: I made the most of my time at Colgate- taking advantage of the opportunities out there, including getting involved in the community and working with professors. I also searched out for outside opportunities while abroad and during summers and now my CV is really impressive for an undergrad. Graduate schools have taken notice of this. It’s been implied that I’ve really done amazing but only lacked the necessary degree for the PhD that Colgate doesn’t offer. The professors at the MA programs that I’ve been accepted showed a lot of eagerness to work with me to get in PhD programs down the road. I spoke with the MA students and they said, “It’s realy what you make of it. It’s all about your own work and ideas.”</p>

<p>So having grown up in the last 4 years, I’ve learned all of this. Your S just needs to find his niche and stick with it and his school will be a dream if it all works out . It is true that there are excellent professors at lower ranking universities (actually that’s one of my MA programs and this professor is literally the leading scholar in his field). The job market is really tight so professors will take whatever is out there.</p>

<p>I had really little idea when I was a high school senior that I could actually get in a top 10 graduate school. And I did, all because I took the intitative and risk to get what I want. Going to Michigan feels like going to Harvard or Stanford…</p>

16

<p>Nothing wrong with safety schools. You can do just fine. My alma mater was D’s rock bottom safety school, and it provided me with a good enough education that I paid retail for her high-end private school education, and she will graduate with zero debt. She may not have attended her safety, but she has every reason to be grateful to the institution nonetheless.</p>

17

<p>The way I look at it: I am thrilled my son is in college and will graduate next year and is going on to graduate school in his mind, loves learning, is excited about life!</p>

<p>Congratulations TMP! What a great school.</p>

18

<p>Hey, back when I went to college, the local Army recruiting station was my “safety school”!</p>

19

<p>I hear you, Coureur. S’s (HS 2009) dad and I both graduated from a state school that he was “hurt” that I mentioned he should apply to as a “safety”. Truth be told, it wasn’t on our radar for him either until we saw acceptance stats this year. We can afford to send him wherever he’s accepted, so at the end of the day college is one step in the process of achieving goals.</p>

20

<p>researchermom: Note that applying as a transfer can be successful at many of the top schools after a year or two. Although there are some schools that take almost no transfers, some great schools accept quite a few (you should research this) and by applying again your student shows a serious demonstrated interest which often is rewarded with a transfer acceptance. Demonstrating interest seems very important for transfer success.</p>