I made my choice to go to UVA after weeks of internal battle. My top choice and dream school since I was in middle school was Johns Hopkins, however my family couldn’t afford it. The simple truth is that my family is high-income, but funds were mismanaged throughout my childhood and not a dime was really saved for me. My older brother got full-ride merit to his dream school, so the question of paying never became a serious thing until my time. I feel bad because I did everything I needed to do to get into my dream school. My social life was limited and all of that hard work was to achieve that goal. Even my common app essay was mostly geared towards Hopkins. But, I feel so ashamed for feeling bad.
The simple truth is that UVA is such an amazing school. I don’t know if I should feel bad at all. People dream of getting into UVA and here I am, feeling sorry for myself after getting into UVA. And I try and try to think of it that way, but Hopkins creeps into my mind every day. The cost difference was $40k over four years. I was scared to go $160k in debt before grad school.
So I guess one of my questions is: Is UVA too good of a school to pay that much extra for Hopkins? I’m a ChemE major. Would have been ChemBE at JHU. Some people told me that as an engineering major, the money would eventually find its way to me. I also was told that there were tons of scholarship opportunities for students once they enrolled. But just leaving that all up in the air and crossing my fingers to make up a $40k price difference seemed like it was leaving too much up to chance. Also, is it normal to sort of feel sad in this situation, or am I overreacting? I’m sure I’ll get over it eventually. It’s just that the school was so close to my heart for a long time. To get rejected is one thing, but to look back and know that I did everything I could possibly do, got accepted, and still couldn’t go there…it just stings.
I think you made the right decision, you are not over reacting and it’s completely normal to be a little sad.
Keep in mind that with your decision, you will have $160k more in the first few years after graduating regardless of your salary. A house or car and vacations, etc. I’m sure you will start feeling even more confident in your decision as you accept its done.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. You sound like a good kid with a level head on their shoulders who has a good grasp on the situation. It sounds like you definitely made the right choice - but it’s also OK to mourn the loss of your dream school for a bit. I don’t think you are over reacting. I am sure over the Summer you will find yourself increasingly excited about UVA - as you say, it’s a fantastic school.
I think it’s normal to mourn the loss of a dream. I wouldn’t feel badly about it. Try to find something about UVA to look forward to and focus on that. You’ve worked hard for the opportunity to attend a great school to study what you want. You’ve accomplished that, so well done.
You can’t borrow $160k; you can only borrow ~$27k (~$5500/year), so JH isn’t affordable. You’ve made a wise choice. Avoiding high debt allows you to choose internships and jobs based on what’s helpful to your career instead of taking whatever comes along because you have bills to pay. And UVA is a well respected school. Congrats on your acceptance.
While there often are departmental scholarships for outstanding students, they typically aren’t that high value - certainly not enough to make a significant dent in $40K.
Don’t let regret drag down your college experience - you don’t want to graduate and then feel bad because you didn’t take advantage of all the great things UVA has to offer because you couldn’t let go the dream of JHU.
Your sadness is valid. Let yourself feel it occasionally. And then off to UVA with a smile!
Perhaps you would feel better knowing that your financial safety was a top 50 school, where we see so many kids have to turn down JHU for their local state school that is not highly ranked. You were lucky to get into both JHU and UVA.
Hope that helps!
it’s hard to see your dream school slip away, but you can take comfort in knowing:
- not going to JHU is not because you weren't good enough, you got accepted and that is yet another indication of your outstanding talent!
- a ChemE degree from UVA will benefit you just as much as a ChemE degree from JHU in terms of employment and/or grad school - you are in no way at a disadvantage
Congratulations.
It is OK to be sad for a while, but soon you need to dust yourself off and get excited about the amazing opportunity yo have in front of you at UVa. You made the right choice. You are fortunate to live in a state with such an amazing public college option. In the end all you can do is embrace the opportunity you have and make the most of it. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how many people would love to be in your shoes. Start to look ahead instead of looking back.
People who manage to get in to an elite school do just as well in life as people who attend that elite school. That has been shown in a study.
Not to mention that by alumni achievements, UVa and JHU are pretty much in the same tier. They both are elite.
This is like being sad about not being able to afford Columbia because you can only afford Cornell.
Here is something else to consider that may help you feel better-but that is true too. It may seem hard to believe but had you accepted Hopkins’ offer you’d probably be feeling even worse right now. The specific things you’d be telling yourself would be different but you’d feel as bad or worse. And part of that reason would be feeling badly about the choice when you had another less expensive offer. But part of it is related to cognitive bias and why we are not the best decisions makers-our brains conspire to trick us. People often elevate what they don’t have and demote what they do have (grass is always greener…). Schools look a lot more enticing when people are anticipating them, have been denied, or are waiting to hear. Then, they are demoted (not consciously but this is what happens) once they are accepted. It’s why the joke about not wanting to join any club lowly enough to accept you as a member works. That’s because as soon as you are a member, the club is diminished in ones eyes.
So, feel better knowing that you would probably be second guessing yourself if you had accepted Hopkins’ offer. Many students across the country have doubt creeping over them this week-second guessing themselves and wondering if they made a mistake. It’s our brains playing tricks on us.
Thank you all for the kind words! UVA is truly a great school, and I’m sure there are great opportunities ahead. I’m just glad that you all think taking the financially safe route was the best option as well. I am very blessed to have the “problem” I had on my hands between two really good schools. Thanks again for the support everyone!
hmmm Awesome school or slightly cheaper Awesome school…
OP you sound like an insightful person. You will do well in life! It is normal to feel sad when for reasons beyond us we cannot take advantage of an amazing offer. But I assure you UVa is a fantastic school. And if your positive attitude and your maturity carry through you will have an amazing four years. Also as a previous poster noted, you might be feeling worse if you had insisted on a school which would cripple your future and burden your family. Congratulations!
I think you made the right choice. Remember that dream schools are dreams for a reason! UVA is very good & beingin debt at a dream school would be worse. It’s life but it’ll get better. BE PROUD!
CONGRATS!
You made the right choice! 160k of debt would’ve been a scary start in life. I doubt your parents would’ve agreed to co-sign so much, anyway.
UVA is a great school, congratulations!
I just wanted to offer this up for you:
I’m an adult and over the years I’ve had a few occasions where I bought something I could not afford. It wasn’t anything crazy like $50,000 purse or anything, but at the time it was something we could not afford and did not need.
It was exciting and thrilling and something I had to have. I wanted it so bad.
I bought it. It was fun to have for…about one day. And then the nauseating guilt set in. I hated it. Dreaded it. Wished I had never bought it and then felt bad for weeks.
I have a feeling you might feel similarly with your JHU education. It is hard for most people to enjoy something they clearly cannot afford. Oh they may enjoy it at first, but then when the numbers loom and the real prospect of being trapped in a debt that is crazy high really sets in, they realize it was not a good idea.
You can make the choice to focus on the positive and the great things you can learn and do at your school. Congrats!
You’re going to love UVA! And it’s a great school, a first choice for many top students.
160k of debt for Hopkins over UVA is insane. Really, that’s not even a close call. No one with any common sense would do that.
My impression is that UVA students are a “happier” bunch than JHU undergrads. No real basis for that impression, and no shade on JHU. But, maybe that’s something to chew on?
^Not sure what dyiu is talking about.
But to the OP, as a Hopkins alum, I can see where you’re coming from. You’re still going to a fantastic place.
Sometimes you have to chase a dream however. I had full ride offers (Jefferson Scholarship to UVA and Bannker/Key to UMD) and chose to go to Hopkins for 100k in debt. I’m now making over 250k a year in my early thirties after a Ph.D. in McKinsey. But so are some of my co-workers that went to UVA undergrad. I was this close to going to UVa, so it’s not a bad alternative in the least.
UVA is quite good!
And where else could you be tagged with such a cool nickname:
Wahoo
That’s right: you are, and shall remain, a Wahoo.
Johns Hopkins is a fine school too, obviously, but it can’t be as cool as a place that’s home to a bunch of 'hoos!