<p>Just parents? What if my parents often threaten me to stop paying for my education?</p>
<p>curleq,</p>
<p>I love your excitement about going to college…</p>
<p>Going away to college will put you and your parents on a new and more mature footing. You aren’t in high school any more, and your parents are not your “enemies.”</p>
<p>Do you have any older friends who have already completed a year or two of college? If they have launched successfully, and are doing what they need to do and doing well in their studies, you don’t hear too much of discussion of parents any more…they are beyond that phase in their lives. You may hear them talk about preferring to be at college in the summer, rather than home, because that is their real life now…but at this point, students look forward to visits from the parental units, and like to use their parents as sounding boards as their life plans are taking shape.</p>
<p>If you do well in your studies at college, and I am sure you will, fairly soon your parents will back off because they know the huge financial investment they are making in you is sound. If you aren’t doing so well, you will want your parents’ support and involvement to help you become successful.</p>
<p>Obviously when you are away your parents won’t be privy to every moment of your life as they have been in high school…a big change for both of you! When you come home the first few times, be patient as your parents adapt to the new and more independent and capable you. And remember to demonstrate your new maturity to them by addressing some of their concerns up front (my friend and I are going to dinner at XYZ, and then heading over to ABC for a party…I will be home around T time…) and also by doing the things you should do without being asked (adults don’t need to be nagged to take out the garbage/set the table/help with dinner/put gas in the tank,
etc., because they do it without needing to be asked).</p>
<p>As far as FERPA and health records go…we parents have access to both. We pay for college…we get access to college records. That being said, we don’t really use the access. S3 has sometimes struggled with his grades…nothing new there! and we are aware of struggles long before grades are posted. Professors generally don’t post grades for every little assignment (most don’t give little assignments) so things like Blackboard aren’t too informative anyway.</p>
<p>It’s more important that your parents have access to your health records than FERPA. If they don’t have a signed waiver, and you are ever hurt or seriously ill,they won’t necessarily have the power to make the decisions in your best interest. True story…one of my son’s friends stepped out between parked cars in the pouring rain because she did not want to walk all the way to the corner…she was hit by a car and was unconscious and in intensive care for 9 days. She had 4 major surgeries. Wouldn’t you want your parents to have access to your medical records in this kind of situation?</p>
<p>Why would your parents threaten to remove support? Just communicate openly with them and tell them what your grades are. If you are succeeding, that’s what your parents want to hear. But if you start to struggle, your parents want to know about it as early as possible so they can help you get assistance, if necessary. It’s reasonable that parents who are paying for college would expect to know how you are doing. They aren’t trying to invade your privacy–they just want you to succeed. Besides your parents, I’m not sure who else would have an interest in this information.</p>
<p>I’ve seen some kids try to hide bad grades from parents. It only makes things worse in the long run. (A guy I knew flunked out of college and lived in his car for a semester because he didn’t want his parents to know he’d failed. . .) It is better to warn parents after that bad midterm grade–then they won’t be “surprised” at the end of the semester. (As a parent, I really don’t like that kind of “surprise.”)</p>
<p>OP, there are a fair number of parents on CC who are paying for their kids college and in return are asking for rights to view medical records and grades. My wife are not in that camp but it seems like a pretty reasonable request to me. There are numerous threads about parents asking kids to call every day or come home every weekend … to me these seem pretty extreme. Bottom line all families are different and what works for each family may be different … your parents may be a little conservative compared to many families but their request happens a lot.</p>
<p>Another reason is give your parent access to your medical records is so they can straighten out any insurance blling issues! D2 dislocated her knee late on night in her dorm and was taken by ambulance to a hospital. She didn’t have her insurance card with her and was so distraught she couldn’t remember who her insurance carrier was! The hospital and ambulance co. billed her directly for thousands of dollars. Without a HIPAA waiver from her, I wouldn’t have been able to speak to either of these agencies and have them send the bills to her insurance carrier for processing. (Because neither would be allowed to even confirm D2 had been treated by them.)</p>