How did you find those school, if you do not mind care to share. Thanks
@carpoolingmama
this is what I am confused about as there is no straight answer.
@infinityprep1234, A start would be to look for lists of colleges that meet need. There are other colleges that don’t guarantee to meet need, but whose websites indicate that they meet most need for most students. What colleges mean by meeting need varies widely, but running Net Price Calculators for each school will give you the basic idea. I don’t know how Net Price Calculator results will compare with real offers, but it’s all the info I have at this point. Avoid public universities unless they are in your state and you know you can afford the list price (we can’t afford our state flagship, at least not for two children). The colleges that give great financial aid are hard to get into; I’m pretty certain at this point that my children are good prospects for very selective colleges. If that were not so, they would be going to state schools and taking on more debt.
Quite correct. It is the college’s definition of meeting need, not the family’s, and certainly not what the family may want.
@infinityprep1234 You are correct, there is no straight answer. Do note that our experience does not include any ivy league/tip top schools. Most schools were either of the national “A+ schools for B students” variety or top of the list regional schools.
I really encourage reading the FA and scholarship threads on the college side – they are a real eye-opener. Different colleges handle FA differently. I was really surprised to find a lot of parents there who thought they were well-informed, did their homework, saved for college and ‘did everything right’, whose kids were solid applicants, and still ended up with a disappointing, really big gap in the end. And some schools have NPCs that were off by as much as $10,000 when the FA packages came in. It is much more complex than FA at BS. My heart breaks for a couple of D’s friends at her BS, who have worked so very hard to gain admittance to their dream schools, only to have their dreams crushed by the harsh realities of the FA packages which left their families gapped in a big way (or offered major loans as aid, rather than grants).
Many of us here have been the lucky recipients of very generous aid from our kids’ prep schools. College is a whole different ballgame. (I know it’s scary to go to the Other Side, but you can come right back here, I promise!) 
Seconding @cameo43
Skim some of the other side. Look at the stories in the parents plus loan thread among others. It is better to go in informed and with an idea of what conversations are necessary when talking to your kids when they are applying.
DS1 received approximately 50% FA in boarding school, we are full pay for college. There is always a free option for high school, colleges do not have to compete with free.
@RedSoxFan18 : Wow. How did you manage? Had you saved for college or did your circumstances (ability to pay) change?
@CaliMex I’m a saver and a planner so that helps - unfortunately my retirement plan now includes working until sometime between 67-70. While my income did go up during DS1s time in BS so did our FA. There is substantial variability between boarding schools and even more between boarding school and college. I spent hours writing a long post about our FA experience. I never hit “submit” as I was unable to craft a version that made the points I wanted to without divulging too much personal financial information. The shortest version of it is that I’ve had 3 kids go through the BS admissions process. DS1 received multiple admits some with FA, some as FP. DS1 attended a school frequently discussed here that made very generous FA offer. DS1 received some college merit money but no need based aid and is now a sophomore in college (unfortunately not one that offered merit money). DD received multiple admits with generous FA (include the school DS1 attended) and one admit as FP, declined them all and is attending the local public high school. DS2 had a tough M10 a year ago and is a freshmen at a local day school. Some boarding schools thought we could be full play, some offered aid that was 15K more generous than our SSS/NAIS EFC. Huge variability between schools. College FA offices were pretty clear, I’ll get limited aid when I have 2 kids in college none before then.
Our second child is a senior in boarding school. College aid is extremely different from bs aid. If you are in the middle
or upper middle, by either assets or income, be sure to apply to in-state schools and schools that offer significant merit aid.
Also, be sure to apply to schools that don’t require the CSS Profile as well as ones that do. Fafsa schools place more emphasis on income, Profile schools on assets/savings. Results will differ.
In addn to running the NPCs, read the colleges’ FA web pages. If they don’t include loans in the aid package, between those two sources, you should see it.
For us, the college listed grants, work study, contribution from student summer earnings, etc, leaving us with a “family contribution.” Loans were at our discretion, not a line item.
I have to say that I’ve been shocked by the running discussion in the college parents forum for the HS class of 2017 about all the effort that people have to put into finding the best aid packages, merit aid, scholarships, etc. I completely naively assumed that financial aid was available for pretty much everyone who needed it, as it is in boarding school and as I think it was when I went to college. My eyes have been opened to reality! We’re fortunate enough not to need aid, so I was shocked when my senior was offered significant merit aid to attend one of his “safety” schools. It seems so unfortunate that there are schools offering money as inducement to attend to kids who don’t need it, when there are other kids who won’t be able to attend the school of their dreams for financial reasons.
@Soxmom is it possible for you to name the safety college where your kid got merit aid, if not I understand. thanks
Sure, I don’t mind. It was Grinnell College. I didn’t know this before he applied, but apparently that school is pretty well known for having generous merit aid available. He was offered essentially a half-ride ($25k per year, guaranteed for all 4 years). This wasn’t anything that he had to apply for, it just came along with his admittance letter. There is also a higher level of scholarship there, which is full ride.
Wheaton College (in MA) was a safety school for my D, and we were surprised by the $30K/year merit award they offered. Ursinus College, a lovely small school, has a new Gateway Scholarship (I think that’s what it’s called) that they began this year. A merit award of up to $32K/year for 4 years, for all accepted freshmen who qualify. The minimum SAT score that is required to qualify for the scholarship is 1260, I believe.
There are some fine “hidden gem type” colleges out there trying to beef up the stats of their entering freshman classes, and offering generous merit as an incentive. For many families, though, even a $30K merit award can’t bridge the gap when the cost of attendance is $60K / year, so they need a decent need-based FA package as well.
@soxmom, We had similar experiences. We did not apply for FA but were surprised to receive generous merit aid scholarships from “safety” schools - same range $25k-$30 each - which brought the net cost down to right around the full price cost of the in-state publics. The schools were Hofstra and Quinnipiac.
I agree with @cameo43 that this really isn’t enough for many families. Also, the merit aid (I believe) can then reduce the need-based aid in the school’s calculations.
I think colleges use merit money to try an increase their yield with students that are likely to gain admittance to more selective schools that do not need any help increasing their yield. In DS1s case it very nearly worked. He was offered 25K in merit aid guarenteed for all 4 years from George Washington. We weighed that against being full pay at UPenn and UVA.
@RedSoxFan18 I know your son eventually chose to attend Penn. Just as I agreed between Andover and Exeter the 25K in aid would be the deal breaker/maker. I’d probably make the same choice as you did between GW and Penn. These choices are never one dimentional.
D1 is attending Fordham on a 50% merit scholarship. She was offered a pittance at NYU, and would have graduated owing the cost of a house. She is happy to be graduating next year with only the federal loans. S1 got a merit scholarship as well, about 25%. We never qualified for college FA, even with two in private colleges and one at BS. Hoping D2 will get some merit money, but who knows what will be happening in two years?
@soxmom, I just saw Dartmouth logo, way to go. So happy for you 