<p>Is there any way to for a prospective student to tell ahead of time if the drinking culture at any given college will be acceptable to them? This thread prompts this topic:</p>
<p>I thought that comment #107 was especially sad. A snippet:</p>
<p>'It makes me so mad that when I am trying to sleep at say 2,3am that people are talking (slurred) obnoxiously loud in the hallways so I can't sleep. The RA does nothing, in fact I think she might be partying along with them. O__o
It just does not create a good atmosphere when you know everyone is going to doing tons of illegal drinking on a Friday, but to obey the law you have to do something else, usually with one friend or alone, on Friday night. It has become the norm for people to break the law.
And I am disappointed that I have only met 1 friend out maybe 10 that I've made that does not drink.</p>
<p>I hate that the university does not try stop it.
And I feel like the "oddball" when I say I don't...and just feel awkward when a classroom starts talking about their drinking, when everyone's underage.."</p>
<p>I have a friend who teaches at a "dry" LAC. She has around 20 students she advises yearly. She told me that she feels badly for those who chose not to make drinking the focal point of their social lives. She says they're isolated and lonely. She says they do usually find a group of people to hang with, but it often takes until spring semester of their first year.</p>
<p>I know of a couple of students who transferred to other colleges after feeling totally isolated by their non drinking habits. My daughter has a good friend from high school who started college at a religiously based LAC and was the only non partier in her quad. Her room was a drunk fest from day one. It took her weeks of complaining (with her parent's help) to get transferred to a room with a more like minded girl. She was ready to quit because she could not get any sleep.</p>
<p>So how can one tell ahead of time if they are going to fit in with any particular college's drinking culture? Please don't suggest going to a super strict religious school where many aspects of a student's life are controlled. Most people don't want to go to that extreme. I have to believe there are many students who would find it appealing to go to a college with a somewhat moderate alcohol culture. That is, where alcohol is present but is not the dominant feature of most social events, where stepping around puke puddles is an unusual event, and where one's fellows are not sent to ERs for alcohol toxicity in great numbers etc.</p>
<p>Do such colleges exist? How can one predict ahead of time if the alcohol culture in the college they chose will be tenable?</p>
<p>Well, for starters I’d ask about particular schools here at CC. You should get info that isn’t in the viewbooks, and if you get multiple perspectives you should be able to get an idea of what the campus is like. Some of the print guides describe how party-oriented the school is.</p>
<p>One caution: just about every campus (except for a few very strict ones) has some kind of party scene. Usually, non partiers can find like-minded students to hang out with. Some dorms are far more studious than others, and often party-oriented students join the Greek system and move out of the dorms.</p>
<p>The fact that each campus may have multiple environments means that one person could describe a school as a “major party school” where another wouldn’t describe it that way at all.</p>
<p>I’m sure situations like the one described above exist, but I’d say it’s relatively uncommon to not have any options at all to escape roaming hallway drunks.</p>
<p>D found in order to have a social life as a non drinker you need to be willing to hang out with people who drink even if you yourself don’t. Your D will just need to find a group which drinks in moderation and won’t push her to drink just because she is present. Can be done. Its also important to learn when to leave.</p>
<p>I actually looked online to research the “party scenes” of school. There are a couple of sites that have past/current students give review of what it’s like. From my experience, the reviews I’ve looked up have been quite accurate for my school. </p>
<p>We have a small party scene, the _____ hall is the “party” hall, and the _____ hall is usually clean – the reviews were right! </p>
<p>Personally, I think in cases like this, it’s up to the student to do their research and to keep an open mind. From my experience, a big party school will have halls or dorm buildings that have a reputation of having many parties, and others that have a reputation of being clean. In any case, I’ve found myself asking on some college forums about party scenes/night life (not just on CC but I’ve done some other forums, lol).</p>
<p>What I mean by open mind is not to encourage drinking, but to encourage making friends with everyone - whether or not they drink - and just have quiet time by yourself or participate in school-sponsored events when the sun goes down on Friday nights. I’m only saying this because of personal experience. I’ve made friends who drop me like a hot potato once they find that I’ve been involved in the party scene. Yes, I do go “in an out”, but not everyone who drinks forces everyone they know to drink too!</p>
<p>Just about every school has a substance -free or healthy living dorm. Great place for kids who are looking for a non-party scene. In general I think the mid-size universities near cities or in active college towns and without a big Greek life are the best place for non-partiers. There are enough kids to find a group that does things other than party, and enough alternatives to the party scene on campus. The big sports and Greek schools tend to have a big party culture. So do some of the remote LACs, and there it can be difficult to escape since there are not a lot of kids or other options.</p>
<p>I’m someone who enjoys going to parties occasionally, but really doesn’t like to drink. My favorite parties are the ones where bunch of us rent a scary or funny movie, pop some corn, and enjoy ourselves. On the other hand, sometimes I choose to go out with friends to “traditional” parties. So at every college I’ve visited, I’ve asked (more than one student there) if A) There is a party scene for those who do wish to engage in it. B) Is it on the periphery or does “everybody” do it? C) Are there things to do if you don’t drink; would you feel left out/lonely if you choose not to drink? The responses I like best are that it exists if you want it, but there is a lot to do if you choose not to partake in it. I’ve found that some schools have activities literally every single night for students to do-- from popular movie showings to stand up comedy, etc. However, there are some schools at which, if you don’t party (or sometimes furthermore, if you aren’t in the Greek system) there is barely anything else to do.</p>
<p>Just one suggestion that comes to mind: Union College in NY is always ranked in the top few schools for “things to do on campus,” and that includes school-sponsored night activities, apparently. That kind of atmosphere is great for the take-it-or-leave it drinker/partier.</p>
<p>Talk to students who actually go to a school. Talk to someone who likes to party. Talk to someone who doesn’t. Just try to get an honest response about what’s really going on there at night. Another suggestion is to have an overnight on a Friday or Saturday night. I had one at a particular school. First I was taken to a comedy show, and then to a frat party. I got to see the two different sides of the nightlife. But I also found that at the frat party, a bunch of kids, including some of the frat brothers who lived there, chose not to drink. I talked to both the drinkers and non-drinkers about the atmosphere there.</p>
<p>It’s best to stay overnight in a dorm, especially if we’re talking about an LAC in a rural area or small town. It’s not a perfect test, but it’s the closest thing we’ve got.</p>
<p>1012Mom: When we met with the Biology Dept. Advisor at FSU the topic of living communities came up, specifically substance free ones. My D’13 doesn’t drink and believes that she will not even once in College, so she was particularly interested in substance free dorms. The Advisor strongly discouraged her from choosing the “substance free” dorms because he said that the majority of the kids don’t chose that living community their parents do and that substance free only lasts a few days! He encouraged her to chose where to live based on interests and location, that she would find her niche socially.</p>
<p>Sub free might be quieter however. S2 asked that question on a college tour or two or three and the general answer was the kids that choose sub free choose it because they can get ‘better sleep’…the kids leave those dorms, party and return to sleep sober or not. So sub free might work for someone who doesn’t want parties under there nose all the time.</p>
<p>Don’t pay attention to the “top party schools” lists. Some excellent academic institutions make the list every year. Wisconsin has made that list but is large enough for those who don’t do the party scene (“study hard, party hard” means do the first, second optional). At UW there are some dorms with more of a party reputation, choices can be made. UW is a good school for those who choose not to drink- my son’s recent experience is an example. Also, college freshmen tend to try things their first semester away from home. Those at restrictive colleges may be the worst offenders. It is not the job of colleges/universities to police students. It is the job of those empoyed by dorms to be sure rules are followed- a complaint higher up is warranted if in dorm drinking interferes. Perhaps those with a strong Greek presence/influence may be the worst?</p>
<p>btw- the title sounds opposite to the intention of the starting post.</p>
<p>This is going to sound counter-intuitive, but my D found that when she transfered from a good OOS public where the drinking culture was pervasive and she was totally out of place, to an extremely liberal LAC, she found the culture much more accepting. I know that very lefty schools have a rep for drugs/drinking according to some, and that’s all there, as it is everywhere, but there was also a strong nonjudmental/let-people-be-who-they-are ethos, so that a nondrinker could be totally welcomed in a drinking atmosphere. Also, the drinking that did occurr tended to be more “sit-around-the-table-with-drinks” talking about stuff, rather than “garbage can full of purple lethal mixture” with much puking/peeing in the shrubs. That was a few years ago, but the difference between her two schools was dramatic in terms of attitudes about alcohol.</p>
<p>Another concern with designated substance-free dorms is that they can attract students who have had problems with drugs or alcohol in the past and still cannot be around such substances without relapse. I am not sure it’s better for a student who is simply indifferent to drinking and partying to be living with students who are essentially recovering addicts, even if they are not partaking at the time. That is also a very difficult position to be in. Anyone considering substance-free dorms needs to get quite a lot of inside information about who is actually living in them before choosing one on a particular campus.</p>
<p>Interesting thread because my DD has expressed interest in substance free housing. We drink, occassionally, she does not/has not. SHe has seen a number of problems arising from drinking in her high school. She thought she might want to look at substance free. She noticed many christian leaning/church going posts. We are of a different faith, so that does not work. I also found it interesting the comment re parents making that choice. I give her the info. She can ask the questions.</p>
<p>I don’t know why a Christian school is automatically a bad environment. I think there are a lot of people who are accepting there who will share the same non-drinking stance that your kid does.</p>
<p>I just think any kid can find their own way at school, regardless of its party atmosphere. And, not to condone drinking, but… I went to school very uptight, rigid and narrow-minded about drinking (I was a super goody two shoes in high school, which in my definition is someone who doesn’t party and furthermore is very self-righteous about it. I’m NOT saying your kids are this way. I was.) Well-- I went to school-- and discovered beer. And I’ve loved it ever since. Not in an alcoholic kind of way.</p>
<p>Not to be flippant, but I guess what I’m saying is that some kids loosen up a little and may either drink or can find a way to go to parties without drinking and still have fun. There is a middle ground out there. </p>
<p>p.s. My school was the Univ of Wisconsin. And my love of beer and Badgers endures.</p>
<p>I can certainly sympathize with the OP. My spouse and I never drank, and our children don’t want to be around drinkers in college. My suggestions are:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Look at Christian universities that have no-alcohol policies. Not all are like Liberty and Bob Jones (which I wouldn’t even let my children attend). Some may be more conservative than you’d want, but many are not. Unfortunately, the less conservative ones tend to be less strict on alcohol. For those of us who are moderate to liberal Christians, that poses a problem.</p></li>
<li><p>Investigate colleges with substance-free housing. Most of the students I know who’ve gone that route chose that housing themselves. They weren’t pressured to by their parents, nor are they recovering alcoholics. Moreover, the rules are much more strict in those dorms. If you violate the substance-free policy, they will usually kick you out, period.</p></li>
<li><p>Investigate other types of residence hall learning communities that attract students who are less likely to be interested in partying. Several employees of college housing departments have told me that limited visitation (for the opposite gender) dorms or learning communities with a heavy service component are good options. Limited visitation dorms tend to attract Muslim students as well as Christian students. Service learning communities get students who want to spend weekends helping in a soup kitchen or tutoring underprivileged students, not drinking themselves into oblivion.</p></li>
<li><p>Get a compatible roommate. This should be #1 on my list. Unfortunately, colleges won’t match students up by whether or not they drink. However, there are college roommate matching websites out there, and some students are meeting potential roommates on “accepted student” websites run by the college or on the college’s Facebook pages. Lots of students are eager to find non-drinking roommates.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>For some “Christian” schools would be horrendous. Only look at those if you believe in or can handle their religious beliefs- choose them for reasons other than trying to avoid an alcohol culture since some will be as bad or worse than regular colleges. As others have pointed out, substance free housing isn’t always such because of parental pressures or students. HS students change a lot in college and won’t be able to give their college self description prior to being there. UW stopped doing roommate matching since they discovered it was no more successful than random matching. Choosing a learning community or other specialized dorm situation may be the only good choice on the list above. You don’t have to be friends with your roommate, you just have to get along. It may be useful to not only find out school and dorm drinking policies, but enforcement of rules. Dorms can’t do anything about off campus alcohol but can be strict about in dorm rules and disruptive behavior. Second, not first, semester is the time to see how students behave- after the initial rush of freedom from home rules and experimenting with different acrivites.</p>
<p>Also the caliber of the academics and students matters. Those where more is expected academically need to study even if some do party on weekends. Concentrate on much more than just the pervasiveness of alcohol. You give up too much if that is your number one concern. A school that is a good fit will have like minded students, despite any who drink. Large schools will have room for minority opinions and less chance of being cut off socially if a student won’t follow the crowd.</p>