Finished one year of college, haven't made any friends

Student Lounge College Life
1

Hey guys, after a year of college at Georgia Tech, I haven’t been able to make any real friends; however, there are many people on campus who know who I am. I frequently get a head nod and occasionally one of them walks up to me for a boiler-plate how are you and how’s it hanging sort-of conversation.

I’m pretty good at the actual college stuff (getting my work done) so I a lot of people message me asking for help and are more than willing to reciprocate, but none of us ever hang out. I haven’t made any real connections with these people. When Friday night comes along, they’re all hanging out with their other friend groups and overall I always feel like I’m left out.

I’ve tried my hardest to be as nice and friendly as I can and have tried to be approachable. I do fear that I might be a bit boring after awhile, which could have led to this situation. As I was advised, I did try and make friends during the first week of college, but I felt awkward going and talking to people.

On my first day, two girls sort of took pity on me and started talking to me(I’m a guy), but that petered out quickly. I went to one freshman meet-up and found about five other people with whom I had a buttload of fun, but after that week none of us really hung out anymore. These people seemed to bond with the other people from their dorms and since I live on the opposite end of campus, was/am constantly left out.

To make all of this even worse, I took a Co-op for the Fall semester. The company I’m working for will still be in Atlanta, but it’s a couple of miles off campus. I really want to make some friends to at least have conversations with and hang out occasionally.

The reason why this has been so hard for me is because I went to a really small middle school and everyone who went to the middle school went to the same high school. I was friends with the same people for 7 years and we all message as often as we can. The transition from having lots of friends and known faces to a huge college where I feel alone has been incredibly difficult.

Is there anything that I’m doing wrong? What else can I do to make meaningful connections with people?

2

I was in the same boat as you actually. I finished my freshmen year quite well known around campus. I would walk around and everyone would greet me and ask how I was doing (and which car I was driving because of a running inner joke lol). I honestly would just learn to enjoy yourself. You shouldn’t force yourself to make friends with others who don’t even bother to put the effort in. Friendships are two-way streets, you put in the effort and get the same effort back.

If you’re talking to people and they’re like haha ok cool great and then when you stop talking they just disappeared, then they aren’t worth your time. True friends will appear when you least expect it. Just don’t force it. Back in HS, I didn’t have a lot of close friends which people always made a comment about but the gag is, I wasn’t the one walking back home or having to catch the bus. I always was the one in the nice car driving back home.

My biggest tip to you is to find something you like a lot like a hobby and just nerd the heck out about it. You’ll get people’s attention sooner or later and often genuine people because the fakes don’t bother with anything intellectual, well in my case that is.

3

Maybe you could try to meet up with people to study together in person, if you’re not already doing that, and if you can do that a few times with the same people, just ask them if they want to hang out over the weekend after you’re comfortable with them. If there’s a specific party or event happening, you can ask them if they want to go with you. If you can make just one friend to hang out with, I’m sure that would make you feel a lot better and it might lead to more friendships.

That’s a rough spot you’re in, but don’t give up. You sound like a nice kid. I’m sure there are a lot of other kids who would love to hang out with you. If you can’t get yourself to ask someone, just use positive thinking and run through it in your head and imagine it going well. Don’t let yourself imagine bad outcomes. Imagine it going well over and over again, and hopefully it will feel like you’ve already succeeded at it after a while. Then just do it! Good luck.