<p>I'm happy for you both to be going on a first tour! The first suggestions that pop into my mind:</p>
<p>Let your D take the lead, but recognize that you are valuable as someone with whom she can process her perceptions. We used to tour and I'd stay quiet, then we'd sit down somewhere for tea and I'd say, "What did you think..?" Let her lead the conversation. If she's quiet and doesn't quite know what to ask about, you can make observations as you walk to kind of clue her in to what to look for, like, "Interesting architecture, don't you think?" or "Look at what they're doing.." if you see a table set up with a student club or something; just call her attention to areas to look at, but she can draw her own conclusions.</p>
<p>It's okay if you are a bit more talkative as you walk along on this first visit, as it will give her some modeling. Some kids aren't quite sure what to look for. And since it's close, you can always re-visit it after you are both more experienced by visitng elsewhere. You really can't go wrong here, so relax and enjoy.</p>
<p>On the official tour, there have been many threads about how mortified kids are at their parents' questions, so my advice is simply: as a parent, don't ask any. There isn't anything you can't find out later. SHE can ask, or not. She's more likely to begin to articulate her own questions on future tours if you don't overpower her this first time. Learn from what others ask, and giggle about their questions later, too.</p>
<p>Read the website very well before you tour, so you can look for things that aren't there and obvious. You might also see if she has a particular interest area and begin to make a comparison basis. For example, if she loves art, visit the art museum and art library; then when you go elsewhere, you have a baseline to compare. </p>
<p>Although the 'net rules all, I still found it interesting to compare bulletin boards at all the campuses, for student activities. My kids were less interested; I think they assume, correctly, they can compare that by viewing campus calendars posted online. However, there are often unofficial, last-minute student events that never make the official college calendar. These go up as xeroxed flyers on the bulletin board. Sometimes you catch a flavor of a place just by seeing the graphics, whether there are flyers piled upon flyers or the bulletin boards look "lonely" and sparse.</p>
<p>My pet peeve on tours: if the campus has co-ed bathrooms in the dorms, don't occupy tour airtime asking about it. There are more important issues to the students, and there are always governance rules to be sure they have choices, so don't fret about co-ed bathrooms! You have coed bathrooms at home already... if it bothers her or you, just ensure that there's a way a student can find her own comfort level, or that the floor votes on it and there are alternatives. Don't let it be a dealbreaker, in other words. </p>
<p>See if you can visit a Student Union especially around 4 p.m., to see what it looks like when students have no classes or are winding up their academic day before dinner begins. Notice if they seem to stop and talk with each other or rush on by. That's a baseline for other schools. </p>
<p>Watch to see if kids walk together or all seem to make bee-lines alone. </p>
<p>Sit still for awhile and watch, listen. If you're always moving you can't quite absorb the tone of the students. Have some tea in a student union, for example, or sit around a cafeteria as the students assemble for a meal, if you can. </p>
<p>See if your D wants to split up for an hour and explore for herself, meeting you back in an hour. If so, let her know she can announce herself as a prospective student, and ask away. </p>
<p>Ask for directions and look lost; see if people are helpful or not.</p>
<p>Best wishes. Think of this as great mom-daughter time! She'll remember it and so will you.</p>