How do you approach college visits?

Parents Forum
1

<p>I had thought it should go like this....</p>

<p>Kids do their research online. They can get most of their questions answered there. Then, they pick a handful of colleges, and we visit the ones we can. When we visit, it should be a few hour stay, at most, looking at a dorm, the lay out of campus, maybe trying food service, meet with the department of interest...and if there is really enough time, sit in on a class.</p>

<p>That is not how my daughter is approaching it. And I feel like a heel for telling her this is too much. Basically, we went to see Baylor over the weekend. We arrived at 9am. The day went until 3:45pm. We left after 2pm. She wanted to see everything. She wanted to visit every department she might be interested in majoring in (she has a list of 3 things), she wanted to see multiple dorms, go to the talks on learning communities, visit with each club she is interested in, see the boating area, the hiking area, and on and on.</p>

<p>I ended up telling her no. I told her that she should have gotten a good feel for things online and this trip was to get a better feel of what she already knew. I felt we had been there long enough. She wants us to return for another day. Also, she has been begging to go see Rice University. Her school orchestra is going there in the spring so I told her to see it then. After that, we can make a return trip when she goes for interviewing or whatever else, assuming she still likes it after her upcoming trip with school.</p>

<p>She insists the upcoming trip is not good enough. She is a junior and she needs to see the school now. She signed up for a 2 day visit for next weekend. I have a breastfed baby, so this means I will have to take her, with the baby, and stay in a hotel, for a college she will be seeing with her school this year. THEN, I will still have to return later so she can do the senior stuff, like interviewing and auditioning. Another thing about Rice is, she is not positive yet whether she will major in music or something in the liberal arts college (which she has already narrowed down). Since she cannot double major at Rice really between the college of music and the liberal arts college, I think this trip will be a complete waste. Of course, she feels I am not supporting her in her dreams. I feel she is not being practical. </p>

<p>So this question is two part...how do you pick which schools you go to...and what do you do on the visits, time spent, what you look at, etc.</p>

<p>If she had narrowed down the school to #1 or even in the top 3, I could see spending way more time there. But she has not.</p>

2

<p>If these are organized school visits, there is no reason for you to go with her. They will put her up in a dorm with students.</p>

<p>In terms of family visits, I think a decent visit takes at least half a day–you really want to do the info session and tour, and have some time to look around. (We never cared much to visit classes or talk to departments, but others seem to find that useful).</p>

<p>In terms of picking schools to visit, junior year is a good time to visit a variety of schools to learn what kind of school you want. Rice is a pretty good stand-in for a lot of selective universities, for example.</p>

3

<p>I guess all-in-all this is a good problem (vs. the many of us whose kids are not terribly enthused about any of the college stuff). DS#1 visited two schools his junior year, but only because we were in the area for other reasons. No more visits until fall of his senior year. DS#2 didn’t visit any schools until fall of his senior year. DS#3 won’t visit any until spring of his senior year, after he knows where he’s gotten in.</p>

<p>I must say all of the visits with the first two were more along the lines of what you described (actually, initial visits were mostly campus tour + admissions interview). Certainly doable in half a day. The only sit-in-on-class type visits were the second ones to the school, spring of senior year, to the top two-three schools in the running.</p>

<p>I think the bottom line, though, is if you can’t do the trip, you can’t do the trip. Encourage your daughter to continue to read about schools online, and to visit all those fun school comparison web sites. Her time will come (perhaps you could offer some trips next summer to make up for not missing any more school for this now). And what is her school’s policy re: excused absences for college visits? I wouldn’t think they’d allow many for juniors. That might be another weapon in your arsenal.</p>

4

<p>Think of this similar to buying a new house–sure you can see photos online to get a general idea if you like the house or not but when you go visit the house, do you just stop at the front door and not go in and then make your decision? No, you look through all the rooms, open and close windows, look at the furnace, etc. Sorry, I don’t think you can make an informed decision about the programs a college has to offer just from a website and I think your DD has an amazing plan of attack for researching schools.</p>

5

<p>lmk - I did it your way, and it worked fine, but the way your daughter does it is actually the smarter way. You have a bright, inquisitive, engaged student. I agree with Steve that you all should reach a compromise that tends towards the more thorough side. Because 4 years is a long time.</p>

6

<p>We have just begun the process and I am already exhausted. :slight_smile: My thought is to look at a variety of schools during single, day-long visits. Then, narrow down the choices (maybe actually apply and get accepted!) and go for longer visits to see the everything. I am not sure I would be willing to go on multi-day visits to each and every school on my child’s list before it was determined if the school was really a top contender.</p>

7

<p>What we did–and this is pretty common–was to make a college-visiting trip during spring break junior year. We visited 7 or 8 schools (a couple were just drive-bys). Usually we spent about half a day at each school, a little longer for a couple of them. This works best, of course, if all the schools are in the same region (for us, this was the Northeast, but it was still a lot of driving, especially for the kid who was interested in some remote LACs). One parent (me) went with the kid on the college trip, while the other parent took a nice trip with the other kid. This is pretty ideal, if you can do it.</p>

<p>After that, they didn’t really make any more visits until after admission, and they went to some admitted students weekends (we didn’t go with them). My daughter would have liked to go to some of earlier the school-specific weekends (in fact, Rice was one of them), but it didn’t fit our schedule. If it had, we would have sent her by herself.</p>

8

<p>While I agree an eventual in-depth look is good, too much/too early is often too much- especially when they are new juniors. Checking out every nook and cranny risks kids getting stuck on a search for perfection. “Dream schools” can come from this, other good choices can pale in comparison- and it says little about admit chances. They also risk a little burnout and a lot of confusion when too many are seen at the same time. (I mean the 6 schools in 6 days thing- or 10 in 6 days.)</p>

<p>Plus, the kids grow over this year and during 1st sem of senior year. My thought- do what trips you can but be realistic. We helped D1 with the academic reviews and looking at activities, etc. At 16, she didn’t know what to look for, in that research. At 16, she could tell if she liked the feel of a campus, without checking out every building. Rather than visit possible schools she would apply to, we started with more baseline elements- small vs large, prestige vs not-so-much, pretty vs utilitarian, city vs suburban or rural. Then, we all could narrow things down, focus. We also helped her understand the strength of her dept at different schools (and we did the finaid research.) By December of sr year, she had flipflopped- but had 6 schools she loved, that would serve her well. “I could be happy and thrive at any of those.”</p>

9

<p>We didn’t go quite as far as your D did, but made sure my D always sat in on a class and talked to a prof in her main area of interest if she wanted to. We made a special little detour into the art building on main campus because D2 might minor in studio art, but did not actually talk to people. Did the tour, tried to eat on campus, usually went to the info session (although we hate those… most of the info is available online, and there always tons of questions that could be answered by just looking it up…). That all usually took a full day.</p>

<p>Have to say, I would limit her to ONE prof interview, skip the club attendance, and not view all the dorms. She can read online what others say about those things, email with club members, etc. Those should not be the drivers of her decision anyway, IMHO. We typically would arrive at 9 am, and depart around 2 or 2:30. So we did only one school per day. Now I did not have a nursing baby in tow!!</p>

<p>The good news is that it sounds like your D is independent and COULD make visits without you if you can arrange transportation. </p>

<p>We did visit a lot of schools. Starting spring of her sophomore year, we will have been to almost 20 schools by Christmas of this year. But some are close to home, several fit in with vacations we already had planned, etc. And my kid has a hard time making decisions… so I was prepared for a process where she would need to see a lot of options.</p>

<p>That one day visit is it for my kids until they have acceptances. Then I will let them go back to 3 admitted student/overnight events (on their own) if they want to. D1 chose to go to only one just to be sure, and attended that school. I suspect D2 will probably do all 3…</p>

<p>By the way, we did NOT use the school’s websites to pick where to visit. We started with the Fiske book, looking at the descriptions, locations, size, strength of majors, etc. THEN looked at the websites.</p>

10

<p>Different people like to obtain and process information in different ways.</p>

<p>It sounds like your daughter’s preferred approach differs from what you would like it to be.</p>

<p>This may reflect the way she likes to learn. People differ a lot in this respect. For example, I can’t learn how to drive to a new place when I’m riding as a passenger. I could ride to the location a hundred times yet still not be able to get there if I had to drive there on my own. But if I drive to the location even once (with someone in the passenger seat giving me directions), I can easily find it a second time. I need the physical actions of driving to stick the information in my head.</p>

<p>My mom was also a good example. She had trouble assimilating information that was spoken to her. But if there was a way in which she could read the information, she picked it up easily. If someone tried to read an excerpt from a newspaper or magazine to her, she would snatch the publication away and read it herself because that was the only way she could understand it.</p>

<p>Your daughter may find it most comfortable to learn about a campus by spending a great deal of time there, exploring it, and interacting with it in various ways. That seems less efficient than Internet research, but it may be more effective for her.</p>

<p>But there is also another issue here – you’re a nursing mother, and you have special needs. It sounds as though your daughter’s approach to college visits is a hardship for you.</p>

<p>If that’s the case, it might be a good idea to discuss it openly with your daughter. Perhaps the two of you and her father can devise different plans for some visits that let her do what she wants, but with less hardship for you. (For example, could her father accompany her on some trips, rather than you doing it?) And perhaps she can compromise on the length of time she spends on some visits, particularly if she’s visiting a college that is not near the top of her list.</p>

11

<p>With a little one BF’ing, the planned two day trip seems like too much, or would have been for me. I’d probably insist that she check out the school when there on the school trip and if that isn’t enough time for her, find time to visit it later…with dad or with you but when the baby is perhaps better able to be without you.</p>

12

<p>Don’t discount checking out the area around the college - not just the campus. The student won’t be spending 24/7 on campus - they’ll want to head off campus to do things - movies, shopping, restaurants, etc. There’s a good chance they’ll be living off campus at some point so it’s important to get an idea of where the nearby apartments are, whether they appear decent, etc.</p>

<p>After awhile it’s the campuses that aren’t that different but the adjacent areas that are the biggest variable.</p>

13

<p>If she plans to visit 10 schools this way, it is a bit much. But I confess DS went to see his chosen school 5 times, including 2 overnights. He had to make absolutely sure he could handle the culture and that he could mesh with the students at this small school. If she is concerned about “fitting in” sometimes that is the only way. Baylor and rice are not schools I generally lump together in terms of similar personalities, so it is better to know now which environment she likes more in order to narrow down searches.</p>

14

<p>My older son hated college trips. I took him to see four junior year, he didn’t visit any more until the acceptances came in. He did overnights at his top two choices then. </p>

<p>My younger son loved the trips, but again was generally fine with a half day. He looked at a bunch junior and early senior year. We did the tour, the info session, ate a meal, and checked out the surrounding area. He also checked out the schools that accepted him with overnights or longer sessions designed for accepted students. </p>

<p>Neither felt that sitting in on one class was very representative of the school. They checked out clubs during accepted students weekends.</p>

<p>Some high school students do the trips on their own. That might be a better solution for you. Personally, I liked to see the schools too, but there were a handful of schools that my younger son saw with friends not me.</p>

15

<p>You D sounds like a cautious kid who wants a lot of data points in her decision. </p>

<p>We used the internet to get a good feel for the school and came up with a defined list of 10ish schools. We did not visit any school on a whim, they were all there because they offer D her major and she (or I) thought they would be a good fit. </p>

<p>D’s #1 criteria is the approach to education and her major. D also has a very specific idea of her major and how she wants to learn from doing a summer on campus program. She wants hands on doing as much as possible. </p>

<p>D’s #2 criteria is the outlying community. D is the type of kid who is very involved in her community. So Place to her is as much about the city/town as it is about the school. </p>

<p>Based on this our visits have lasted about 24 hours. </p>

<p>We visit the school and attend the info sessions.<br>
We get a tour
We get departmental tours and interviews.<br>
One meal on campus
Then we move into the town/city, hit up the local shops, have a meal, walk around at night. </p>

<p>Most of our visits have involved overnights except those places very close, or where she already has a good sense of the place. </p>

<p>We have done this without babies at home however, and with the ability to fund the trips. If I couldnt swing it, I would not do it. If I had other pressing oblilgations at home (ie-nursing), then it probably wouldnt happen that way. </p>

<p>Good luck, you are blessed to have a D so engaged in the process.</p>

16

<p>She is going to spend 4+ years there. It’s sad that you think looking at web site can tell you anything. A full day school visit is not enough.
My D recently had a 2 nights (sleep in dorm) + 3 days stay + sitting in lecture at UT … and it’s only close to being enough.</p>

17

<p>OP, I think you have posted elsewhere that your husband has a very unrealistic view of the college admissions process… maybe taking your D to some visits is an area he can help with, though. If I were you I would do the following:</p>

<ul>
<li>As I mentioned before, use a book like Fiske to narrow down the list of schools she will visit prior to applying.</li>
<li>Make up a list of questions with her to ask at each school. She seems like a real go getter – some kids would not follow up on the questions, but I bet she will. Remind her to take notes during her visit – it makes the “Why School X?” essay so much easier AND helps her keep criteria for deciding straight between them.</li>
<li>Have your H take her on at least some of the visits.</li>
<li>I would say ONE visit per school (day visit) until she is admitted, then additional visits to a small number (3?) if she needs more once she is admitted. If the school is really local (I would say less than an hour’s drive), then it might be okay for her to spend another day or two there.</li>
</ul>

<p>She can puruse websites, CC threads, email with students and professors, etc. to her little heart’s content beyond that.</p>

18

<p>Fire, the web site can tell you plenty- there are many factors that make a college a good, smart choice. The visits are important, but the web research can mean you don’t ask the sorts of questions I’ve heard on tours.</p>

<p>Other than her last “first look” (an overnight,) the longest time we spent on a campus (and not incl our local Ivy or when she accomplanied DH when he had reasons to visit schools,) was maybe 4 hours. I don’t advocate that for everyone, though. Her top considerations were her major, wanting competitive peers (for motivation, not prestige,) wanting weekend fun and, as nellieh said, wanting real opps to continue community involvement. She found it all, at that last stop- about an hour in, she and I looked at each other and said, this is it. She has been happier than any of us could have predicted. We never even took the tour.</p>

19

<p>

This is a good point. With our first kid, we visited one school that would not have worked for him, and we could have found this out if we had looked carefully at the website. (We had fun, though, because it was NYU and we had a good time in the city.)</p>

20

<p>I looked at website, plenty of them. In fact I have looked at a lot, I am an IT person. I don’t ask dumb questions that many ask on tours … but the websites are nowhere near to tell you what a school is like. A website and an hour tour can give you enough info to decide the rest of the life, really?</p>