The initial conversations included both me and my child but I was the lead. We had our first meetings with the DSOs after admission and BEFORE acceptance. I sent them all testing documents in advance of the call and explained the requested accommodations. With all of the data and a clear request, we could get commitment to actions that they would take as a condition of acceptance. At one of my son’s two top choices, this was eye-opening as one of the two schools was very waffly and had to be forced to make choices rather than give vague words (we’ll give your son the support we feel he needs and we’ll decide in the fall). They insist on asking for raw test results (which our neuropsychologist said were completely unnecessary) but ultimately decided positively. The other school was great. With my D, using the acceptance deadline was also very helpful (she can’t attend unless she knows what accommodations she is going to be granted). If I recall correctly, this conversation was either via email or over the phone whereas for my son, they were while he was visiting his top three schools post-acceptance. [He had refused to visit schools with 10% probability of admission and only wanted to visit upon acceptance. These schools were also 1.5-3 hours drive. She and I had extended visits before applying and her first choice school was 8 hours away].
After the first meeting, subsequent communications were from our child, though I sometimes coached in the background.