I am writing an application essay on gymnastics and I don’t know how to start it… I want to somehow include that I am tall so it was definitely not the easiest sport for me, but I still continued to do it for eleven years and learned valuable lessons, blah blah.
My original plan was something along the lines of: “My childhood dreams of competing in the Olympics for gymnastics were crushed after I reached a height of 5’8”. " or “As I looked down at my teammates and coaches from a height of 5’8”, I accepted that I would probably not be an Olympic gymnast."
But I can’t tell if that’s too harsh/pessimistic? I mean for it to be funny(ish), but I can’t tell if it actually sounds that way… Thoughts and/or suggestions?
Write your first and second essay drafts. From there, you would most likely find an attention-grabbing introductory line in the body of the essay to begin.
Don’t be too hung up on that first line; write from the heart, and it will come to you. : )
^ Watch out for purported “experts” who want to make money from you. And scare tactics, like they may not even read your essay.
OP, just make sure your essay is relevant to the adcoms at your targets. Either opener could be fine, but what comes next matters. You don’t have to drag them through every detail in a timeline, you do have to make a point that helps them see more of you than stats and ECs can, shows the attributes they’re looking for. And show, not just tell.
I agree with @GMTplus7, the first one really caught my eye while the second one seemed a bit clunkier. I would say it feels a bit humorous, not pessimistic at all.
Hmm, both the same to me but I thought the 2nd hinted at some wit. It also says she is part of the team now. Remember, it’s an admissions essay, not whether you’d read it in a magazine or flip the page. A lot of kids write about childhood incidents or ideas and adcoms want to learn about the more recent you.
They will not judge you on the first line (unlike some hs teachers.)
Yes, everyone reading anything on CC should watch out for purported “experts.” I am not an expert, and it is not a link I originally posted, and I do not want your money. Honest. I just thought it was a good enough article to share with my daughter, as well as the OP.
As for the woman who wrote the article in the link, below is her bio. Unless, of course, she’s lying. This is the internet after all…
Ashley Wellington is the founder of Mint Tutors LLC, an online educational community that specializes in academic tutoring, college guidance, and test preparation. It is based out of New York City but caters to students across the globe. She is also the author of Admissions Essay Boot Camp.
Wellington grew up in Dallas, Texas. As an undergraduate at Princeton, she was the recipient of the Theodore Weiss Creative Writing Award. She was then awarded a scholarship from the Ernest L. Ransome Trust to attend graduate school at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland. There, she earned a master’s degree with distinction in creative writing. Wellington then tutored for several elite agencies, including Metro Academic Prep (MAP), the Tutoring Collective, and Olympiad Academia, before founding Mint Tutors in 2010. Her interests include teaching, competitive running, hiking, and being with her family.
