<p>I figured since the first week of school just passed for most people, and we're all out of the new-student haze we were caught up in during orientation, it would be a good idea to reflect on how things went and how they're going. Also if anyone wants to ask questions, too.</p>
<p>Alright, so I just finished my first academic week at Andover. It was... not what I expected in so many ways. I was pleasantly surprised by how quickly I was adopted into a group of returning students, and DEFINITELY surprised that I actually understand chemistry. So many people are willing to help you here. I went up to a girl I hardly know in my chem class for help, and she offered to meet me at the library that night, even though she had a math test the next day. </p>
<p>Despite the loveliness of some of the people and the passion of the teachers in their subjects, I'd like to bring something up that I think everyone applying to Andover should know: when people say that coming here is a rude awakening, they're right. I'm not saying that people shouldn't apply here, definitely not, but parents and students and teachers are right when they say this school isn't for everyone. I've had a few rough days here already because I didn't make the cut for all three things I tried out for--things that I have dedicated about 9 years of my life to. I actually quit one of these things, which I'm a little sad about, to pursue a completely new sport. Andover is definitely going to be a time of change for me.</p>
<p>So, all new students, what was a high point and a low point of your first week? (Or second, or third, depending on your school.)</p>
<p>Okay so I guess this would be the end of my second week for me. Cassat is right. It’s been hard. So hard in fact that I had to leave school for a while to help deal with my stress and anxiety. Boarding school is very, very far from a utopia - that is for certain.<br>
Boarding school was like what I expected, but at the same time it wasn’t. Before, in my head, I could imagine myself doing all the things people kept talking about. Managing time on my own. Meeting people from all around the world. Having challenging, yet fulfilling classes. Gaining more freedom away from parents. Having countless opprotunities. Basically what every guidebook tells you. And Peddie was - is - all of those things.
But at the same time, now that I’m here and have to live in that life, it’s very difficult. “A rude awaking” is definitely the right phrase. Boarding school is not for the thin-skinned like myself. There are rough places all over that can scratch you until it bleeds. It’s hard to articulate, and cannot be thrown away as “homesickness” or such. I think everyone deals with those patches. My problem is that I have to learn how to deal with them better. Right now, worries keep going in circles in my mind until I feel like I’m going to break down. I already have on numerous occasions. And there’s this thought that’s always there: “Why did I do this to myself?”
I don’t want to scare anyone from going to boarding school, because I still like Peddie. And it’s really only my third week - second if you don’t count the time I had to go back home. I just think that it will take me much longer than most to find my niche.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>I would. The people I’ve met in the last week are intelligent, funny, and almost overwhelmingly nice. I didn’t come here to get into a better college–I came here to take interesting classes and be surrounded by like-minded students with whom I can really relate. Despite my relatively unsuccessful start, I continue to look on the bright side of things–I’ll certainly have more time for studying and getting involved in clubs now that I won’t be in a show or a varsity sport. </p></li>
<li><p>The academics are certainly challenging, but the teachers always want to help you. My chemistry teacher, for example, is one of the smartest women I think I’ve ever met, and she wasn’t fazed at all when I came up to her with a question right after the first class. I’m a new tenth grade student. Honestly, the adjustment isn’t THAT bad if you have the right work ethic. </p></li>
<li><p>I applied for the musical, the dance group, and I tried to get into advanced dance as a sport. Everyone makes the instructional sports, which I’m now a part of, but it gets reasonably competitive even at the JV level. It’s a bit annoying, actually, but I’ll get used to it.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>I applaud you both for facing, right at the beginning, that BS life involves some sacrifice of one’s prior self-esteem. No one really tells you how not being good enough will feel, until you feel it. For the academic stars, it may not be in the classroom, but on the sports field or in their favorite EC. For the recruited athlete, they may excel on the field, even in the new environment, but find they have to spend a LOT of time in extra tutoring to keep up with the pace of the academic load. It is a really humbling experience, one many people never experience in quite the same way. So why DO you choose to do it? It will prepare you for a rewarding and enriching adult life in ways that wpn’t become clear until years down the road. It sounds like a nebulous goal, but it’s only hazy because it will take you a little while to figure out where you’re going to make your contribution…but once you figure it, you’ll know how to accomplish it and you’ll have the tools to see it through. Try not to get dragged down by depression. It’s real to acknowledge how difficult, and frustrating, the situation can be from day to day, but don’t let it get the best of you. Find ways to laugh. And look for relief valves–community service off campus, off campus programs, regular visits with family and old friends (however possible–you all don’t know how lucky you are to have Facebook, Facetime, etc!).</p>
<p>Hang in there new BSers and remember that you are in for a long run, not a sprint. I won’t sugar coat it: for many, it takes a good part of the entire first year to really get settled. Fall semester is spent figuring things out–lots of highs and lows (amany of your classmates articulating that things are amazing, but really, inside they have the same anxieties and ups/downs); winter term is tough on EVERYONE (longer time without a break, cold and grey weather, and less ways to blow off steam when you are trapped indoors). But, hold steady, by spring semester, everyone seems to feel better about school and you will be amazed at how much you’ve grown/figured out from where you were those first couple of weeks!!</p>
<p>Your honest sharing will be a real help to kids applying to bs next year, and my heart goes out to you as you learn to make those difficult adjustments. </p>
<p>Don’t forget that your parents are still there to talk to…even now, a year later, my kid will still call after a difficult test or situation with other kids just to talk it out for a few minutes, and it really seems to help him get the angst out of his system. (Parents–good to not panic when they do that!) </p>
<p>The tough thing, I think, about bs as erlanger has pointed out before, is that you can’t retreat at the end of the day to the living room couch, where you may be bored out of your mind, but you’re surrounded by people who love you just as you are. But you’ll figure it out–no high school situation is going to be perfect–I think spending the summer at home made my kid realize how much worse things would be at home, making the second year transition way easier.</p>
<p>I just finished my first week at Deerfield and it went surprisingly well. Everyone is almost overwhelming in their niceness, and my hall is so incredibly fun. If I’m being completely honest, there were some awkward moments when I felt incredibly embarrassed. There were moments when I did feel left out of the party and I felt like I was the only one who didn’t know anyone. But, I realized that there were 202 other new kids who were in the same position as me and probably having the same thoughts, and if we ban together, then we won’t be in that position anymore-- and we’re not. On the academic front, things were a bit better. Classes are kinda difficult, but simply because it’s not the teaching style that I’m used to. Overall, boarding school has been pretty darn good to me.</p>
<p>“too much fun”? Well, don’t get used to it. Otherwise either you are going to a crappy high school or you are on the wrong track associating with the wrong people. What school are you attending again? Deerfield is it?</p>
<p>For those worrying about anything at boarding school, all of us who have gone through freshmen year know that it gets better and it is definitely worth going to. Almost everyone gets homesick, gets overwhelmed, and struggles to get homework done. But there is a reason the schools have a sophomore, junior, and senior class. People love it and you will too. If it isnt right after the first year, thats fine and no one will look down at you for deciding to leave. But try it at least for a year. and if you decide to stay, each year just has a new experience and gets better.</p>
<p>What genius? Oh you mean you somehow has something to do with that label? Well, in any case, I am glad you never officially declared what school you go to - which is good - for the school.</p>
<p>Honestly, I wouldn’t describe this past week as a party, but it certainly was TONS of fun. The social aspects of Andover are NOT what I had anticipated, in a good way!</p>
<p>Invent, apparently the fun you are having at your school couldnt help you get over the bitterness buried deep down, but it’s been six months since March 10. Are you sure you don’t need some professional help?</p>