I agree about the two conversations being intertwined, but I don’t see the problem as being as bad as this. In part, because each of our kids have taken about 7 APs total by the end, and they seem to need about this many to be challenged (and they aren’t off the charts students) This is because even in our “good” school few non-AP classes are very rigorous.
The second part is because our school doesn’t weight, the only reasons are to take APs is to demonstrate rigor for colleges and to challenge yourself a little academically. But since so many schools don’t rank any more, and so many universities redo grades with their own weighting, how many students face actual pressure to pile on 12 APs? I don’t doubt there are some, but the seem completely outweighed by the advantages in offering more challenging courses to interested kids across a wide range of schools.