Flunked my first semester of college

<p>Child and adolescent psychiatrist here. Parent of a college junior. My first semester of college was in the Fall 1968. I got Fs in Calculus and Biology, a D in Economics and a C in Psychology. I should have been expelled, but Clark University was willing to give me a second, and even a third chance. Why? I really don’t know. For whatever reason the Dean of Students went to bat for me. </p>

<p>Every kid is different, and some should probably not attend a university, but should prepare for life and a career in other ways. But the one thing that ultimately allowed me to succeed was the unflagging support, love, and belief in me that my parents exhibited through all my trials and tribulations. When I didn’t have any belief in myself, they never gave up on me. </p>

<p>Parents–Don’t get angry. Dont threaten. Don’t withdraw. Don’t retaliate. Just hang in there with your kid. </p>

<p>Kids-- Don’t give up on yourselves. Dont give up period You will find your center and your passion, and when you do nobody will be able to stop you from achieving your goals.</p>

<p>ClarkAlum- Good words of advice. We are going down that same road with our son.</p>

<p>I have not been involved with this thread. This morning I decided to check it out. I really liked what ClarkAlum had to say. It is approprite for all sorts of situations…thanks ClarkAlum!</p>

<p>Firstly your parents will forgive anything so just be honest. Most colleges have academic support centers. Contact them. Also this may not be the college for you. You may need a college which has more support available. First year is always a challenge. I’m sure you can get it right. Do not see this as a major problem. Life has challenges to be over come and we learn from them. Good luck</p>

<p>If it is any consolation, I had a similar problem my freshamn year in college. I eventually ended up out of school for a couple of years, grew up and appreciated the need for education and learned how to get something out of lectures rather than just being in the class, and how to study. The good news out of all of this is that I went back to college at a different school, graduated, graduated from law school and have been a practicing attorney for more than 30 years. It is not the end of the world, but nothing is solved by delaying or hiding the problem.</p>

<p>I hope college flunkie is doing okay and that he will update us as to the outcome of his appeal and his plans for this semester. I hope the Jesuits at Marquette are true to the mission of “Cura Personalis” and take this young person under their wing and help him become the person he is meant to be.</p>

<p>I remember senior year I finally had the schedule space to take a religion class from a prof that was a star in the field. I went to all the lectures, all the study groups, did all the readings, loved every moment of it, took the midterm, got really into the essays… and then the prof called me in and said I flunked the midterm. He and the dean actually let me withdraw from the class because I had plenty of credits (& good grades) to graduate without it. They were really sporting about it. Depending on where you are, it could be a question of whether the profs in that department care re whether they’ll warn you you’re in trouble. I WORK at a community college now and we would never hang a student out to dry like that. The switch may be a good thing in the long run.</p>

<p>Collegeflunkie, believe it or not, your problem isn’t unique. MANY kids find freshmen year the toughest year because of their inability to adjust to the homework demands and distractions. Moreover, unlike that of high school, there is no spoon feeding in college. MOST of the required information is found in the assigned texts and NOT in the lecture. Of course, this varies from course to course and from teacher to teacher. However, this is true as a general rule. If you make the assumption that most of tests will be based on the homework and NOT on the lecture, you will be right most of the time. Thus, you need to study any information in the lecture as well as all information in the assigned texts.
I also agree that there is probably an appeals process that you should immediately pursue, although you may be much better off starting off elsewhere such as at a community college in order to get a clean slate as far as your GPA is concerned. This may be particularly important for grad and/or professional school.</p>

<p>Just wanted to offer a word of hope to parents and students in this situation. It is much more common than you think - and many of the students who are affected were excellent students in high school. Our son had an awful second semester! When we learned his grades at mid-semester (something his college provides to parents of freshmen), we were actually wondering if it would be wiser for him to withdraw in the middle of the semester. My husband actually drove many hours to the college so that he and our son could meet with his advisor to see if the semester could be salvaged! In the end, they were able to work things out, and my son worked hard and talked with all profs to see what he could do to pass his classes. Fast-forward three years: son is now a senior, graduating in the spring. He changed majors, worked hard, and has already landed a job in his field. There is hope if your child is willing to do what it takes to turn things around.</p>

<p>Thanks ClarkAlum. That really helps to know. Sometimes it feels like our unfailing support is not doing any good.</p>

<p>Our S said he really wanted to stay in school and give it another semester, after listing all his options. So he’s back, one week in, with stricter parameters to check on his grades weekly, join study groups, get a tutor, discuss his progress with us, etc. Fingers crossed…</p>

<p>Collegeflunkie- I do hope you told your parents and were able to work out a solution. Don’t give up. Lots of good advice here.</p>

<p>As a person who worked with social worker for 6 years, I really want to say many kids actually have potential in their study. The fact is that they don’t know how to deal with problem they face in the new environment (changes, friendship, time-planning, etc). </p>

<p>We encounter some cases which students did badly in the academic result, they tried very hard to improve but due to lack of time (low-income families). They are afraid to tell their parents about their case. </p>

<p>Such problems are likely to be seen in October ~ February, it’s because so actually maintain to hide the bombs in the 1st seminar. As a graduate of one of the few “mature students”, I know how is like when realizing the study is tough, it took me about 2 months to find the right study method while maintaining my jobs in the morning. I took all my lessons in the afternoons, I had no choice but to plan a 6 days school life as I need to balance my work and my study. I gradate from high school in 19, and have my first foot in university in 28. </p>

<p>I came from a low-income family, my parents were too old to find job, so I went to work after I graduate in high school due to the poor result in the public exams ( even though I did very good in my high schools tests). What I am about to point out is that don’t let a problem be another problem! </p>

<p>E.g.1: no money  goes to work, work  no time to study, stop working  no money, no money  feel guilty.
E.g.2: choose a choice because of interest  it was something you haven’t expected, having lack of knowledge  work hard to learn, work hard to learn  result still not improve, poor result  feel guilty.</p>

<p>The examples may sound ridiculous for many parents, but to be honest many kids are facing similar situations. It’s tough for them as school won’t teach them how to handle problems when they are in middle of the road. Having lack of experience, and confidence, support from his/ her trusts, family, it’s likely to see them come up problem inside a problem. </p>

<p>For students, please don’t feel guilty or shame to tell your parents or trusts when you start to encounter problems. People experienced different in life, some of you might think “My parents are low educated, they won’t help me much”, but the fact is that they experienced more in the society, some might have larger group of friends who might help. A real case is mum A asks her friends mum B, C, D for help and advices for her daughter’s study. Unfortunately, none of them can help. Mum B, C, D went to ask for help from their friends. Luckily, mum G is willing to ask her kids to help and provide free tutor lesson for mum A, mum A’s daughter start to improve her study with the new methods of study she learnt from past graduate. </p>

<p>Parents are always willing to do things beyond your imagination when it comes to their own child. Therefore, give it a try, I know it’s hard. To some of you it might be little but that little something might just be the fuel for your engine. Especially for the lazy students, if you won’t learn from your parents’ tears, then I have nothing to say…(I have seen many commit in crimes in ages before 16, even though people gave them chances. They don’t treasure it, believing they can’t make “THAT” difference in people’s eyes, believing a bad person will never be able to step back but that is wrong, there are people out there who are willing to help, you folks just needs to find them and show them your willingness to make that difference!)</p>

<p>As for parents, I suggest keeping conversation with your kids once they step in the college. Of course show them your concern in their study and school life. Let them know you are doing it for good if he / she is relatively strong and independent because for those who are indoor and shy, I believe most parents would have start family discussion in their childhood.</p>

<p>Try saying something to show them your care, and let them know how important your cares are when they start encountering problems in school.</p>

<p>E.g.1:
“Son, you will to studying in college in September remember one thing “we” are always there for you when you need us, call us or tell us about your problem in schools when you have tough time.”</p>

<p>E.g.2:
“It’s a new world in college, remember to learn and ask for helps when you need it. We just want to let you know no matter how old you are, you are always our son. We will always be there when you need us, and we treasure you as much as you treasure us, so talk with us when you want to share your joy and depress.” </p>

<p>I only pointed out these points because kids nowadays are quite different from the past. You can hardly find one who says he / she don’t like playing computer or phone. Some of them haven’t experience how the life is in the 60~80s, even if parents are willing to share their memories, they might just don’t see that big difference and learn to treasure their chance in their own hands.</p>

<p>I am not saying these to minimize my work, I choose to work in committee service to help those who are in need, sharing my stories to let them know don’t make “THAT” first wrong step, even if they are lack of support, there are people out there sharing the same or similar experience. So like I always say, feel free to speak. If there are problems, don’t let them be there. The best way is to talk to the ones you trust, I don’t want to be the only one you trust, so remember to open up your heart, there are people out there who care you little kids, you just don’t know it…</p>

<p>Wow I’m surprised that this made it into the newsletter. Anyway, I should update everyone on my situation. I thank all of you so much for the support you have given me. I made a mistake last semester by just not being able to handle my math and science courses. I am currently back at Marquette after speaking to the deans, so I’m on academic probation. Thank you all so much! And those of you in the same situation as me, DON’T EVER GIVE UP!</p>

<p>Glad to hear it, college. Good luck moving forward. You handled your challenge well and we look forward to hearing how it goes as you reach your goals.</p>

<p>I am so glad you updated us and I am so happy to hear you are hanging in there! Have a great semester!</p>

<p>Good to hear that you wound up with a good result. Let us know how the spring semester goes.</p>

<p>I am glad to hear that it worked out well for you. I am looking forward to your next update where you get to tell us how you pulled it all together for this semester!</p>

<p>Good Luck…post updates on your progress please!</p>

<p>I will keep everyone updated about my progress. I realized the major reason I did so poorly in my classes was because my two science classes took way too much time away from me and I was not able to handle it. I actually did not tell my parents what was happening until a few days before I was supposed to move back in. My biggest mistake ever. I should have told them about my situation before so that I could have either transferred to a different university (instead of just going to community college) or solved this issue before hand. I’m taking this semester very seriously. I have a lot more time to do my work since I don’t have science courses consuming my time. I’m positive I will do amazing this semester and the following to come. Anyway, I’d still like to say to people in the same situation as me that they really should talk to their parents about this situation before it gets out of hand. You shouldn’t give up on college if you messed up one semester. I know I can retake these courses that I messed up in, and it will boost my gpa a lot, so I have a ton of hope for the future. Can’t wait to update all of you on the rest of my spring semester. And again, thank you all for the support. I really needed it. :)</p>

<p>If only I could change my username. I’m no longer a college flunkie! :D</p>

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<p>Perhaps not, but what about two semesters? You have to draw the line somewhere. Giving up on a BA does not mean giving up on life.</p>

<p>Good luck in your second semester.</p>

<p>They placed you on academic probation. Did you ask what fraction of students placed in this category after one semester eventually graduate?</p>