<p>I was lucky enough to have the desire, choice and ability to end up in a high paying career, but today I am stuggling with balancing the more satisfying aspects of my practice against the need to pay full price for my D at "The Dirty D". Me and my H differ on this, but I don't care if she makes a lot of money if she doesn't ( He's first gen, I'm second..perhaps important). My goal for the 200k investment is that she be happy, but also be able to take care of herself. Not depend on us, nor on getting married. I believe that includes spending four years with people like you OP, and if I may, I must say this thread is more reassuring than some of your others have been!</p>
<p>FYI, DunninLA - I, too, would have thought the OP to be Asian based on his screen name, but he indicated in a different thread that he wasn't Asian.</p>
<p>"My goal for the 200k investment is that she be happy, but also be able to take care of herself. Not depend on us, nor on getting married"</p>
<p>Ditto.</p>
<p>^^^OP, I apologize. I may have mistaken you for another poster.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl wrote: "she's not asian". Oh, never mind then! Well it's still possible evil<em>asian</em>dictator is a white jewish female whose parents were born to WWII exiles, in which case my post mostly applies. </p>
<p>Evil -- if you give us a little more social context, we might be able to tailor our comments. There's no purpose to speculating, in general, about the meaning of life and career, not knowing anything about you.</p>
<p>I don't really think the focus should be on the OP's ethnicity or social context since it doesn't appear to be the scenario of the parents pushing the OP to be a doctor or something - lots of college students of all ethnicities and social backgrounds have this same practical question unless maybe they're already independently wealthy which isn't likely. It's a viable question whose answer will be a personal one. We can only offer insight, opinions, and anecdotes but not necessarily the only correct answer.</p>
<p>ucsd<em>ucla</em>dad -</p>
<p>I take it then you're not a sociologist!</p>
<p>Do what you want, and you'll never have to work a day in your life.</p>
<p>
[quote]
I take it then you're not a sociologist!
[/quote]
It doesn't take a sociologist to know that many students from all walks of life don't have a 'passion' or 'love' for a particular field when they're Freshman or even seniors in college and that they might be concerned about the practicalities of the income earned from their jobs post-college. In fact, I think there are a significant number of students who fall into this category. </p>
<p>It could be that this OP is being pushed by the typical 'gotta be a doctor to be successful' parents due to the parents' cultural background but there's nothing in the post to indicate it.</p>
<p>We are shelling out big dollars. One of our kids is a music performance major and one an engineering major. We are hoping that the engineering major will support the starving artist one day:) Seriously...we felt that following a passion was fine. Life is way too short to do otherwise. Plus we also felt that a degree in the fine arts is a very respectable degree. We are quite sure that both of our kids will succeed one way or another.</p>
<p>I have two good friends (one another's best friends, interestingly enough) who are currently pursuing or planning to pursue second bachelors degrees. One originally majored in something that she thought was practical, and is now majoring in something that she truly loves; the other majored in something that she loved, and is now hoping to go back and major in something more career-oriented. Both girls had post-college work experience, and in both cases, their second degrees are totally unrelated to their first. My boyfriend had a combined major and opted to go to grad school for the more "practical" half, but still has no idea what he wants to do with it. My closest dance major friend is happily employed in the field of her choice; my closest engineering friend hated his first job and is now unemployed, struggling to find a second.</p>
<p>As long as you have the freedom to choose either way, there's no cookie-cutter answer. My impractical major led me to a professor who helped me develop a research/EC interest that led me toward a path that's practical and appealing (and which I probably wouldn't have stumbled across on my own), so it seems to be working out alright so far. Fingers still crossed.</p>
<p>This isn't meant as advice...just a relevant quote that I really enjoy (versions vary, but you'll get the idea):</p>
<p>"I must study politics and war, that my sons may have the liberty to study mathematics and philosophy, natural history and naval architecture, in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, tapestry, and porcelain." (John Adams)</p>
<p>I am an Indian American FYI and my parents are more laid-back than most Indian parents, especially since they placed no pressue on me to become an engineer or a doctor. However, I feel like they are funding my college education with the belief that I should end up in Wall Street or become a lawyer. I know for sure they would be extremely upset if I decided to do Teach for America or the PeaceCorps. Their wishes are probably as important to me as my own personal considerations. Luckily, I'm not 100% sure about what I want to do when I graduate so there's a fair chance I might not end up disappointing them too greatly, especially if I pursue a lucrative career.</p>
<p>What you all have to understand is that for Asian and Indian parents, there are only 4 possible careers: lawyer, doctor, engineer or businessman. The emphasis on pre-professionalism is the worst aspect of my culture in my opinion. Although American society doesn't value the importance of family and marriage the way most Asian/Indian cultures do, it at least emphasizes the importance of respecting people regardless of whatever career path they choose. That's why the United States is the most prosperous country in the world. People who do what they love are more likely to excel in their chosen vocation.</p>
<p>Good to get some context. I have been interested in this post and followed it. Earlier in the thread, a poster made a connection I had not. I am one of the Texas Dust Bowl types, whose family didnt migrate, but still was affected by dust bowl/depression/ 1950's drought/ etc ....I tend to lean to the practical . Though as a Geologist I received the best of both world I like what I do and make a good living. </p>
<p>One point I wanted to poise has to do with passion v. money. If you pursue you passion and have a family, are you going to be dissapointed if you are unable to financially send your child to the school of their dreams? Just food for thought.</p>
<p>OP- your laidback parents are no different than many other Asian Indians I know (more exceptions to the stereotypes)- your CC name could belong to my H's American born cousin, it reflects his sense of humor a few years ago when he was in college. I'm of long ago European peasant stock and my Brahmin H shares the same passion for education, neither family ever had much money. </p>
<p>It is so discouraging to see the current generation of Americans more concerned about the job they can get and the money they can earn after college than following their passion, or at least interest. My H has often commented that I must have taken a course in everything in college, unlike his career focused education in India. College is the time of your life to indulge in a major you are passionate about, with its practicality being secondary. You can always take courses to get job skills later, and many jobs don't need a specific college degree. Don't worry about disappointing your parents (every child does in some way), worry more about disappointing yourself- you have to live with you for the rest of your life. Also, I'm sure you can come up with an appropriate quote from Indian philosophy to justify the path you choose- I know my H could.</p>
<p>It was so refreshing to read your posts, good luck. PS- we are currently presuming there will be a job out there for a math and/or physics major son someday, he'll do want he wants to do, regardless of our wishes (he has his parents' personalities).</p>
<p>EAD, My parents were a LOT like yours back when I was in college. My older sibling followed the track they wanted. I spent many years fighting with them-- and many times my dad withdrew support for college because I wasn't majoring in something "pre-professional." Years passed and I eventually finished my desired field of study on my own dime at a state u. Today, I work in that field but I earn much, much less than my sibling. </p>
<p>My advice to you...
1- If there is a way to combine your interest with a practical bent (a double major, a minor), try to do that even if you're not too interested in the practical side yet. It might give you options someday.<br>
2- If #1 isn't possible, look to see if there is another field in which you're interested. If so, consider minoring or double-majoring in it even if you don't see the obvious connection. It may give you options someday.
3- If #2 doesn't apply, try to master a foreign language. </p>
<p>And, last, no matter what, do your research as usc<em>ucla</em>dad outlined in post #8. That research will help both you and your parents. Take that research back to your parents. They might not realize that a PhD professor can earn X, that a geologist can earn Y working for big oil or that govt workers have good benefits and pensions.</p>
<p>This is a hard one to answer and the "correct" answer hinges on the individual student.</p>
<p>The key consideration is the ability to honestly consider the long term consequences of your decision.</p>
<p>I am a big proponent of students focusing on their keenest interests as an undergrad and then branching out as broadly as possible to learn about other unrelated areas of study. And engineering majors as well as liberal arts majors can do just such a thing. I know I did as an undergrad.</p>
<p>But what about the honesty thing????? Just like hs athletes who dream of being in the NBA or NFL, if you are a fine arts major, don't expect to land a job at MOMA as an art curator. If you are at a music conservatory don't expect a gig at the LA Symphony. If you are an English major don't expect to become an editor at Simon and Schuster.</p>
<p>Instead determine if you will be happy early in your careeer in low paying entry level jobs for which you are eminantly overqualified. And if that job at Simon and Schuster does not ever pan out, will you be happy eventually branching out into a totally unrelated field where a door opened for you and rewarded your personal attributes and abilities? Almost all talented people eventually find a path to a happy and successful live provided they are flexible in defining those subjective terms.</p>
<p>And whatever you do, do not expect the college name on your diploma to have a significant impact on your eventual career path because the data suggests that it will not.</p>
<p>EAD: "What you all have to understand is that for Asian and Indian parents, there are only 4 possible careers: lawyer, doctor, engineer or businessman. The emphasis on pre-professionalism is the worst aspect of my culture in my opinion."</p>
<p>I can understand it, but that doesn't mean I have to admire it or think it a laudable thing. I think it's a shame, quite frankly.</p>
<p>There doesn't seem to be any shortage of Asian actors, musicians, authors, artists, designers, dancers, scientists (in every field), ministers, pop stars, historians, soldiers, diplomats, etc., in the world. I sat next to an ethnic chinese accounting professor on a plane yesterday. When I saw Muddy Waters in a club 25 years ago, the lead guitarist in his band was Japanese. And I won't even start on Tila Tequila, Tracey Quan, Lena Chen. Somehow Asian parents must reconcile themselves to their children's choice of career, just like the rest of us.</p>
<p>The "Pre-Professional" college track that OP speaks about is quite common around the world, and in the U.S., among people who have financial insecurity. If you examine history, in which societies, and under what circumstances, have people valued the arts, philosophy, and other "non-professional" pursuits? Parts of society in which a person of able body and mind was never at risk of poverty. That could be either a segment of society that is very well off, or within a society in which resources are pooled, and therefore one can depend upon the group as a whole to ensure his/her survival.</p>
<p>This question of concern or preoccupation with financial security is not limited to East Asian, mid-continent Asian, or any other geographic or cultural group. It is common, as I mentioned in my first post on this thread, to any group that has recently collectively experienced dislocation, poverty, uncertainly about their survival.</p>
<p>I like the John Adams quote. It is a propos here.</p>
<p>I have never heard of Tracey Quan or Lena Chen LOL.</p>