<p>You give adults a bad name. How is it working out between you and your darling children?</p>
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<p>Very well thank you. And if trying to teach young adults responsibility, respect and common sense gives me and other adults a bad name - so be it. I would rather have a bad name than excusing and supporting irresponsible, rule breaking juvenile behavior like you do</p>
<p>I think you meant neurotic young adults, potentially psychos when they grow up.</p>
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<p>mom2collegekids - oh, so in you mind the only reason a kid should be suspended is if someone’s life is in danger or they cheat on a test. Wow. And your story says it all - if someone doesn’t do things the way you like or agree with - you will gather the mob and make them pay the price. Way to teach your kids ethics and how to resolve issues in a reasonable, adult manner</p>
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<p>I didn’t gather up a mob. Those of us (many of us) who were very upset over this stupid suspension came to the conclusion to boycott the fundraiser (including volunteering for it). </p>
<p>There was no way we could happily join in with this fundraiser while the son of our very good friend (who had been the past head of this fundraiser and a sub teacher) was wrongfully expelled. </p>
<p>That said…I have news for you…this is the American way. A peaceful way to demonstrate displeasure at a policy. That’s what Americans do. That’s what I would WANT my kids to do. So, they learned a good lesson. If an institution does something that many people don’t like, they are “punished” financially by “pulling back” on donations or whatever (This happens to colleges all the time. A college will do something stupid, and alumni don’t send donations.) Again, this is the American way. Peaceful protest.</p>
<p>And, like I wrote…the school was NOT open to resolving the issue in a reasonable adult manner (as you suggested). Do you think that wasn’t tried first??? If you read my post, you would have read that the school would not even consider an appeal process. No one even spoke to the child (not even the principal!!). The parent happened to be on campus that day, she was called into the principal’s office and told her child was being expelled. PERIOD. NO discussion, nothing.</p>
<p>And, you must be naive to think that the rest of us parents could “negotiate” anything with the school. Schools are NOT ALLOWED to discuss such matters with other parents. So, we did what we could, and it worked. Expulsions (and suspensions) are limited to more severe situations. </p>
<p>And, yes, I do think things like suspensions and expulsions need to be reserved for serious matters (cheating, stealing, drugs, weapons, etc) because of the problems when applying to college. </p>
<p>I (and many others) don’t have a problem if our school tells the family of a “chronically naughty” kid that he/she can’t return the following year or that he/she must withdraw from the school or face expulsion. (I consider a “chronically naughty” kid as one who doesn’t do any “one” thing that rises to the level of being expelled or suspended, but is a constant disruption in class, or something similar.)</p>
<p>Before schools got “over zealous” about such things, “naughty” behavior was handled with “work detentions” and such.</p>
<p>Frankly, if schools became a bit more zealous about maintaining classroom control and less zealous about over-reacting to a child who drew a pic of a gun, schools would be in a better shape than they are. (God forbid if a student brought in a photo of his policeman dad in uniform with a gun on in his holster or a pic of his dad on a hunting trip.)</p>
<p>I wonder if the OP and all those involved CLEANED up the mess?</p>
<p>Washed down the room, walls, etc…?? The OP doesn’t state anything about making amends…</p>
<p>The teens need to be responsible for their choices and respect the decisions of the school they attend. In this case the administration made a decision.
The OP’s parent showed a great lack of respect to be yelling at the school…
that kind of role model breeds the same kiind of attitude of entitlement and wanting the be the exception…so as to not be held ac****able.</p>
<p>Sad really that the parent didn’t say to the OP–“well you made the choices and it’s your responsibility to make amends and handle the consequences”
–too many parents bail their kids out of trouble rather than letting the children and teens learn valuable life lessons at a younger age before they become adults and the price is much steeper.</p>
<p>why did the word accountable get ***?</p>
<p>It looks to me like you misspelled it, perhaps leaving out the “o.” That would leave a naughty word in the middle.</p>
<p>You should be expelled from CC!</p>
<p>You need to get the local news station involved. 3 days for chanting is a bunch of BS.
Get a lawyer, challenge it, raise hell.</p>
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<p>First, it would be nice if you got off your high horse. Secondly, there is a big difference between “excuses” and supporting irresponsible behavior and opinions as to how to handle the matter.</p>
<p>You should have been issued a student handbook, statement of rights/responsibilities, or something similar at the start of the school year. If the official punishment for something along these lines is in fact suspension, you should have known that beforehand and need to just deal with it. If not, you can complain.</p>
<p>I have dealt with the same thing! (except not for a food fight.) Last year, I got suspended and got an in school suspension for writing a curse word on facebook. The principal thought that I was cursing to one of my teachers so I got suspended. </p>
<p>Since youre applying to Duke and other places that use the common app, theres a section where it asks ‘‘Have you ever been suspended?’’
I was extremely worried about that section, because I mean obviously I didnt wanna lie but I also didnt wanna write that I got suspended.</p>
<p>The same question comes up on the counselor’s reccomendation sheet. I went to go talk to the counselor about it and he agreed to put that I didnt get suspended because it was for something stupid. </p>
<p>and Honestly, you getting suspended for a food fight is ridiculous, and seriously, if I was the College Admissions, I would probably just laugh and not take it as a big deal. The Admissions people are young so Im sure theyll understand. </p>
<p>So talk to your counselor. or just put the truth. But either way, if your scores, I dont think itll harm anything :)</p>
<p>ctyankee is right: "Secondly, there is a big difference between “excuses” and supporting irresponsible behavior and opinions as to how to handle the matter. "</p>
<p>Nobody is excusing the behavior or suggesting that the punishment should be mild or non-existent. As parents, we want discipline in schools, but we don’t want a “punishment doesn’t fit the crime” mentality that jeopardizes a good student’s ability to go to a good school.</p>
<p>As parents, we don’t give the same level of punishment for similar bratty behavior that we would if a child stole, came home drunk, or did some other horribly bad behavior. Schools need to use similar discernment.</p>
<p>ao13 >>>>
The same question comes up on the counselor’s reccomendation sheet. I went to go talk to the counselor about it and he agreed to put that I didnt get suspended because it was for something stupid.
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<p>This is another reason why suspending kids for such things is not a wise thing to do. It encourages otherwise honest people to lie to overcome an over-reaction.</p>
<p>The GC should never lie—
What a bad example of role modelling and lack of respect for the “office” the GC holds–now the GC in effect says lets lie because we dont agree…nice.
Proves my point about accoutability…or lack thereof…and what kind it breeds</p>
<p>all you parents who say i should be “accountable” are really missing an important point. yes, yes, i AM accountable in that i accepted my three day suspension without hesitation. but should I also have to accept the consequence of a damaged future? these two shouldn’t have to go hand in hand. in short, **** off.</p>
<p>anyways, the suspension’s over and i’m back in school so it’s a moot point. yes, i helped clean up, and i also am working on a canned food drive to help make amends.</p>
<p>^^^</p>
<p>That is exactly the point. The school essentially issued a punishment that will last for years - not one that would last just during the suspension. Since schools know the subject comes up on college apps, this punishment should only be given for the worst offenses.</p>
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<p>So - you would not suspend a student who hits another upside the head? How about one who takes a fire extinguisher and shoots it off causing a couple thousand dollars of property damage? What about one who incites a riot? Or one who pulls a false fire alarm in the midst of a musical with 700 people in the audience?</p>
<p>To you its all about getting the kid into the college you desire - rather than teaching the child right from wrong and personal accountability.</p>
<p>And as to your story - it really is irrelevant as first off, clearly we are only getting one side of the story. And secondly, you yourself admit that “Schools are NOT ALLOWED to discuss such matters with other parents.” - so you know nothing of the school’s perspective on the whole incident. All you have is what your friend told you. Its very possible you could have been played - bigtime. But you and the rest of the angry mob showed them. Taught them a lesson they won’t forget (and probably taught a bunch of students a lesson as well - if you do something wrong - don’t worry about any negative consequences, mommy will take care of it for you)</p>
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<p>Very well said fogfog on both counts. Although I am not surprised, it disheartens me to see parents like this constantly making excuses for their children and sending them the message that it is all ok - rather than helping teach them a valuable lesson in life.</p>
<p>And what the GC did in the other example is extremely poor behavior. It sends a terrible message to the student, disrespects the job of everyone in the GC’s office, and will simply breed more bad poor behavior</p>
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<p>Sometimes that is the price you must pay for engaging in bad behavior. Just because you served the punishment doesn’t mean everything just goes away. Sorry, welcome to the real world where it doesn’t work like that. Actions have consequences, some of which can be longer lasting that others - that is something you need to learn and best you learn it now rather than later. </p>
<p>In this case, colleges ask about suspensions - so yes, you will have to report it. You can’t just sit there and say - oh, but “i accepted my three day suspension without hesitation” why should I have to report it. But if you are smart enough, I am sure you will figure out a way to explain the lesson that you learned from the whole ordeal and why you are now better for it.</p>
<p>However, given the last four words of your quote above, which really do not pass for civil discourse, I have my doubts you really have learned what you needed to from this incident. I hope thats not the case.</p>
<p>LOL. I don’t know why everyone’s making such a big deal.
OP’s whining about being human is the dumbest thing I have ever heard.</p>
<p>Yes, he should have been punished. Who CARES if he got suspended or detention or community service. You really think Admission Officers have a chart and sit down and say “oh man, suspended… <em>looks over at chart</em> … that’s -10 points… oh look! this other student only got detention for fighting all the time. that’s not SO bad.”</p>
<p>On the other hand, if I was the OP I would try to make the best of this. This def. sounds like an essay opportunity. As you all have mentioned, he broke the rules… but it’s just a food fight. It’s boys being boys. </p>
<p>I’m sure a majority of students applying to Duke(and others listed) have not been in food fights. So there. Look at the bright side of things, you now stand out! Write an explanation and get over it.</p>