For a student travelling halfway across the world.

Parents Forum
1

<p>(I'm being fantastically self-centred in asking this, I realise, but hopefully some of it will help anyone else who's thinking of going ridiculously far away from home for college.)</p>

<p>Essentially, coming from southern India (though I have spent quite a while outside this country; never lived in the US, so it's still very foreign to me) moving to California in September for college (Caltech), what -- in your opinion -- would I really need to know about the US in general (culturally/socially/politically/what-have-you) before flinging myself into the thick of things? </p>

<p>My parents, though ridiculously overeducated (both doctors. Despite this, I'm not pre-med!), aren't really all that used to the US (we're more UK-centred. Which is evident from my amusing spelling, if nothing else!), and I'm basically hunting frantically for all the information I'll need -- besides the truly obvious things (clothes/cheap textbooks/copy of the Feynman Lectures/et cetera), I haven't even the faintest idea what to bring to college, so this is more of a clueless & desperate plea for help than anything else. I'm worrying a bit about nearly everything at the moment, from travel to storing my things (carting my luggage across continents is going to be severely unpleasant, I suspect) to socialisation. The fact that all this may or may not be unjustified (I wasn't dubbed my family's resident worrywart for nothing) isn't doing much for my sanity, and while it's all a bit premature I do like to have my ideas firmly sorted out before I actually go about anything. </p>

<p>And an auxiliary question: in any of your experience, are there significant reasons to worry about crime and security issues on campus? I don't expect to be wandering around Pasadena all that much -- more a 'curl-up-with-a-book' sort of person than a party person -- but as I am going to be living alone for the first time at age sixteen, everyone I know has been giving me rather dire warnings about how the US is no place for a young girl. (This does sound fishy for the simple reason that teenage girls seem to be in abundance in the US, but.)</p>

<p>If you've made it this far (:)), thank you for reading yet another teenager's frantic flailings (and for tolerating all my ridiculous parenthetical inserts, like this one).</p>

2

<p>Noldo, After reading your post, I do truly think even at the tender age of 16 you seem to be more than ready to throw yourself into the thick of things at Caltech, California and the States in general. I would say not to worry but all of your worries put you in excellent company - and that certainly includes a lot of American as well as all those international students who will cross seas and oceans to get to their destination. Being a member of worry-warts anonymous already makes you a member of a huge and very popular club. That said, travel light, if for nothing more than because security issues these days make it far easier. I know of one intl. student whose doting father packed everything he could think of for her care and comfort- almost including the kitchen sink - in two huge trunks. The poor man hurt his back lugging it all to the dorm on move in day, and then wound up taking most of it back half-way across the world with him. Most students, international and domestic alike, are advised to bring as little as possible to college. Few heed the advice. Apart from clothes, essentials should include prescription medicines, a favorite book or two, and even a few personal items such as photo albums etc. Check with the international center at Caltech for a list of what they consider to be high priority items. Apart from that, keep in mind that usually international orientation begins a few days early to give you time to meet and mingle with other frosh intels and often provide organized bus trips to Target and Walmart or Bed, Bath, and Beyond to get those extra-long twin sheets, study lamps,etc. I would wait before you consider buying electrical appliances until you have a chance to confer with your roommate. Dorm rooms are usually the size of a postage stamp at most colleges so storage space is at a premium. Once international orientation is in full swing, remember to keep open to all the other freshman orientation events designed to help people meet and connect. I'll bet that before you even get to college you will make contact with other Caltech students through Facebook and find out just how much you all have in common - and that includes worrying. So, relax as much as possible and try to resist the temptation to control every last detail - you will worry less and enjoy it all the more- and believe me, it all goes by in a blur.</p>

3

<p>My son went to college with 2 suitcases: all that he could take on a plane and I shipped 2 separate boxes. If I did it over again, I would have had my son order bedding online and then have had it shipped to campus that first year. He moves every summer around campus from one dorm to another and then to another one in September. The less clutter, the better. You can buy all your extras online. I suggest doing that after you arrive on campus and really see what your needs will be.</p>

4

<p>Noldo,
Asteriskea is correct. Post on the Caltech board for specific advice from females. Caltech has strict honor code. S has left money and other valuables in his House study room and never lost anything. Dorms right on campus, so 5 minute walk to classes.
Within a mile is a Targets & a Macy's. In Old Town you will find every standard American clothing store plus lots of boutiques. Paseos is another shopping area. Bed Bath & Beyond, Circuit City, Best Buy are not walking area, but plenty of students have cars. During prefrosh weekend, the campus is securing buses to shuttle people around the area. You won't need much for your room; kitchens are plentiful in the dorms. Some students like a mini-fridge in room, but wait until you know who your roommate will be, if you have a rm/mt, and which House you chose. The lay-outs are different.
Clothing very casual. Temperature rarely goes below 50', so most wear a sweatshirt or fleece jacket. On occasion you will want to dress up.(Being a female, you'll have lots of male friends.)
Storage is free through the summer. MANY students do not leave campus during term breaks or summer.
S skipped senior year of HS but found many others as young or younger than he.
Congrats and relax</p>

5

<p>You beat me to this thread!! :) :D (As another Indian who's traveling to California this year, and who's also a bit young, and who also isn't quite sure what to do by way of preparation, and who's also a bit of a worry-wart, I'll be reading this post with lots of interest. :))</p>

<p>(Bit too long a sentence that)</p>

6

<p>Luckily for you, I don't think Cal Tech is "the US in general (culturally/socially/politically/what-have-you)", exactly. Most of the U.S. kids there will have been significantly outside the U.S. mainstream in one or more dimensions, probably in some of the same ways a 16-year-old Indian girl who is going there is not exactly typical of "India in general". Also, of course, the U.S. is a pretty diverse place -- both more and less diverse than India, depending on what you're looking at -- so that in many important areas there is no "U.S. in general".</p>

<p>That said, you undoubtedly have access to more information than you could possibly digest, in the form of American popular culture that permeates the world. American movies, books, music are all perhaps only slightly more accurate in depicting American society than their Indian equivalents are with respect to Indian society -- which is to say, not very, but you can learn a lot by thinking intelligently about the nuances and discounting the dramatic elements. There is also a considerable and growing body of literature and film dealing with Indians' reactions to the U.S. Those may not all be your reactions, but they can serve as some sort of guide to what people you are familiar with are likely to notice. I'm thinking of books by Jhumpa Lahiri, Vikram Seth, and Ved Mehta, and parts of some of Salman Rushdie's more recent books (and, at one remove Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner), and Mira Nair's movies. Also, lots of Bollywood-type movies now take place in the U.S. and feature Indian protagonists' (and the filmmakers') reactions to America (which are very interestingly different from the equivalent material about Britain). A number of Indian students I have met enjoyed a movie that came out 5 or 6 years ago called American Desi, about Indian (U.S.-born and immigrant) students at an American university (not much like Cal Tech); it is far from completely realistic, but I know lots of it resonated with them.</p>

<p>Pay attention to regional differences, and understand that there are no absolutes: religion, and especially evangelical Protestantism, is very important in the American South, much less so in California, but there are plenty of people in the South who don't care about it and plenty of people in California who do.</p>

<p>A few things I believe are things you may notice:</p>

<p>-- In the U.S., there is something of a cult of creativity and genius. In academia and elsewhere, rote memorization and comprehensive knowledge are comparatively less valued than innovation, "thinking outside the box", etc.</p>

<p>-- There is less automatic respect for elders and authority. To some extent, it is a difference of superficial style, but to some considerable extent it is also real. By their late teens, most U.S. teenagers either expect to make their own decisions free of parental influence and to live independently, or believe that that's the norm whether or not they follow it.</p>

<p>-- People are more open about sexuality -- again, partly as a matter of style, but also partly as a matter of substance. In most contexts, especially in most universities, it would be considered wrong to react negatively to homosexuality in any way. If you are 16, your personal relationship to your own sexuality is bound to get more complex for a few years no matter where you live, and cultural differences won't make anything easier. Whether you think it's relevant to you or not, you should understand birth control and the prevention of sexually transmitted diseases. (Those things tend to have been drummed into the heads of educated American youth from a very early age. It may not occur to people that you aren't thoroughly familiar with them, if you're not.)</p>

<p>-- Americans "in general" are shockingly ignorant about the rest of the world, and even more shockingly ignorant that they are missing anything. Most of the world is forced to pay attention to America, to try to understand it. Most Americans don't feel forced to pay attention to the rest of the world much, and when they do it's often in very simplistic, American terms. There's a reason George W. Bush got elected President twice.</p>

<p>-- Social class matters in America, but in very complex ways. Americans tend to believe in democratic ideals, and to dislike snobs. Class-marking behaviors can get very confused: wealthy, educated people will sometimes imitate underclass or working-class culture, striving poor people will imitate the rich. Wealth and class are not identical. Americans also believe in social mobility, more than the facts warrant, perhaps, but that belief is critical to American culture.</p>

<p>-- The health care system is fragmented and horribly expensive, and there is no universal health care. Take time to understand your health insurance situation now.</p>

7

<p>I grew up in Pasadena and have lived in India so your post caught my eye. I’ve sent two girls to college and a third will go this fall. I'll limit my advice to stuff you'll need.
You will obviously bring your clothes and basic cosmetics, hairbrush, etc. It will be hot in Pasadena when you come and it’s a great town for shopping so you can easily buy winter clothes later. Be sure to bring a robe to wear walking to the bathroom and rubber flip flops for the shower (to avoid germs). As others have said, you can shop for your room and for school supplies when you get here but you should think about what you’ll need immediately. Depending on what time of day you will arrive, and whether or not you’ll have an opportunity to shop that first day, you may want to bring (and/or order online and have waiting for you) the things you’ll need to sleep that first night: sheets (twin-extra long size), pillowcase, blanket and/or bedspread, pillow and towel/washcloth. You should also bring whatever makes you feel at home: photographs, posters for the walls, favorite books, music, and other things from your room at a home. You’ll need a backpack or messenger bag and of course you’ll want your computer, Ipod and digital camera. You’ll probably want to get a cell phone here right away. Try to use soft luggage that will fold down small (like duffel bags) or pieces that will fit inside one another for storage.<br>
There are lots of things you may eventually want for your dorm room but here are what I’d consider the bare essentials (one trip to Target will take care of the top of the list and the college bookstore will probably have the school supplies and power strip):
Alarm clock
Desk lamp
Laundry hamper and detergent
Fan – unless your room is air conditioned
Clothes hangers
Shower caddy (container to carry your stuff to the bathroom)
Trash can
Power strip/surge protector/extension cord if lots to plug in
School supplies – pens, paper, etc.</p>

<p>Lastly, I think you’re going to love it here so please don’t worry!</p>

8

<p>noldo:</p>

<p>Congrats on your acceptance to Cal Tech. </p>

<p>Do not worry at all about security around campus. Pasadena is a safe, suburban town, and totally unlike New York City, South Central Los Angeles, or Bangalore.</p>

9

<p>As we have 110v here in the U.S. I would not bring electric items from India. Clothing too, you may find the styles very different here, and be sorry for lugging tons of clothes all the way from India. Most college students dress very casually. Shorts and tank tops in the summer, jeans, sweatpants, for the cold.
If you are able to register for classes and find out from the profs. ahead of time, about textbooks, you can order from half.com and time it so it arrives right after you do.
In Caltech you will find students from every country and race. Very diverse. The college years are the best of your life. You will have a wonderful time.</p>

10

<p>Wow. Following a brilliant posting by JHS isn't easy. That was deep, and got me thinking... </p>

<p>The racial/ethnic diversity here is dazzling. Because of this, one area to think about in advance is what your ethnicity and within that context, your female identity respresents to you AT THIS MOMENT. It will change, as will everyone's identity grow and change in college, but I'd take stock for a moment to reflect on it. Perhaps even get a kind of "baseline reading" from your wonderful parents before you depart. In what ways do they hope you retain traditions and yet how, as educated people themselves, are they ready to hear about your changing? Their answers might surprise you, both in how conservative and how progressive they are. Parents can be surprising creatures. Perhaps just listen to their thoughts and feelings; don't debate or make promises to them. But know what they think on ethnicity and female issues.</p>

<pre><code>I'm a Jewish-American 3rd generation immigrant with very traditional values, 100 years after that boat left Russia. I was struck recently by my niece's husband who described (all within the U.S., mind you) his journey from being raised in all-Jewish parochial high schools to entering Columbia University. He said that it was the best possible place for him because it "widened my thinking without destroying who I am inside, my core values." As he said it, he actually held his hands to his curly head and expanded them outward. I love this particular nephew. He's a family doctor today, happy with 3 kids, still practicing very traditionally within his faith daily, but a modern man to anyone who meets him in public. You never know until you talk to a person what's going on with their background and thinking. Each person is an individual with his or her own story. Make no assumptions based on outward appearances, good or bad.
</code></pre>

<p>Anyway, women bring a special ethic to a campus. When you arrive to learn, you will find others like-minded, men and women. You might also see others with different priorities. It could be culture shock to walk by a couple on the grass, kissing (just kissing) in public, and realize that in 10 minutes they'll<br>
have rounded up their books and be sitting next to you in class. Because their behavior is so public, you might not be aware of many others whose decisions are for much more quiet development and exploration of the opposite (or same) gender. What's important to understand is that what you SEE isn't all that there IS. Do not ever feel pressured to the norm. At first you can only see the public norm. </p>

<p>An ideal group would be international students, especially international women students, whether formal or informal, in order to keep in touch with the part of you from your upbringing. You can always bring back your discoveries and process with those of similar journeys. </p>

<p>That said, understand that you'll always be welcomed and of extreme interest to Americans. We're so friendly we're like puppy dogs. We'll say funny things based on the extreme naiivete that JHS painted so well; as a people, we know few languages compared to what other nations are about these days. Some have travelled this country and abroad, but many will have never left their own state. I'd anticipate not only acceptance but extreme eagerness to get to know you. It could all be a bit much at first, but do imagine above all: friendliness.</p>

11

<p>JHS - I too really love your post and may, I add, for someone who doesn't think there is a "U.S. in general" you did a pretty fine job of putting a wide sweep of social, cultural, and even political what-haves-you in a nutshell. </p>

<p>Most of the students who fill the halls of Caltech, Berkeley, Stanford and indeed most colleges are not typical or average - and that does say a lot for the cultural and social diversity of the U.S. Many college students are more concerned about the world outside the U.S even though a startling number come across as shockingly naive and ignorant - in many cases college life itself does much to remedy that. At Columbia in N.Y. for example a growing number of students get their news from international sources such as the BBC or Aljazeera which is not at all typical of most Americans but might be closer to how you already think about the world. JHS's post did make me think it appropriate to mention that throughout many parts of the U.S. there is a town and gown divide. International and regular orientation as well as campus activities organized through the international center will help create what many students find to be both a welcome buffer and introduction to off-campus life. That also goes for religious life - there will be many organizations on campus that can deal with every facet from fasting, praying, dietary requirements etc. Since you already well-traveled, quite multi-cultural and familiar with life in England you will be aware of nuances and differences that others may not be attuned to - so my advice is still to relax, stop worrying. Coming from an Anglo-Indian cultural tradition, it may take a while to get used to American humor, slang, and idiomatic expressions but that will come - just keep your sense of humor and maybe even watch the telly with friends -- right, I meant tv.</p>

12

<p>Congratulations, Noldo, your writing portrays you as a bright, intellectual young lady. JHS's post is thoughtful, and other people have given you good practical ideas - I'd only bring personal things, honestly, especially if you can determine that you will be able to get to Target, Walmart, etc to buy other things. Many smaller colleges will have internationals come in a little earlier for orientation, and typically, part of that orientation will be an organized trip to discount stores, with some available hands to help move the purchases to your room - check for that on Caltech sites.</p>

<p>There are a number of fiction books, a whole small literature about Indians moving to the US and assimilating, some about first generation experiences, others about second generation, some of those might make interesting reading between now and when you arrive.</p>

<p>Again, congrats and welcome tothe US.</p>

13

<p>I'll add three things:</p>

<p>-- Overt racism is frowned upon in America. You may encounter it on occasion, but it is rare. Educated Americans will think a lot less of you if you say things that sound racist. Covert, or unconscious, racism, or just ignorance that feels like racism, is very common. You will encounter it, although I hope not everywhere (and very little at Cal Tech). Sometimes it may take you awhile to realize that you are encountering it, sometimes it can hurt you in ways you don't expect. Generally, the people who hurt you that way don't mean to do it, and will feel terrible if they come to understand that they have hurt you. If you demand (without being threatening) that people pay attention to you as an individual, one-to-one, and not as the representative of anything, even people who are quite racist will usually respond positively.</p>

<p>-- Everybody doesn't do what "everybody does". What people say they do and what they really do is often different; what people think others do and what they really do is often different. I assume this is true in India, too. Don't let the cultural shift make you forget it. Don't ever be afraid to say "no" to something "everybody does" if you aren't comfortable with it.</p>

<p>-- This is advice I have given American teens about studying other cultures, and I think it works in reverse, too: Think about how complex and nuanced your life is, all the different influences and choices that go into making you who you are, and all the variations on those that produced your friends, and the even wider variations that produce people whom you regard as different. Think about the vast spectrum of choices that adults and kids you know, and ones you don't know, have made. Think of what the rules are, and how often they are broken or bent. Think of how all of that stuff has changed or not changed since your grandparents' generation. Then, assume that every other culture is just as nuanced, just as varied, and just as dynamic as yours is, and that every person you meet is just as complex and conflicted (and smart) as the people you know well. But understand that the complexity, nuance, and intelligence may be expressed in unfamiliar ways; you have to look for it to see it sometimes.</p>

14

<p>Noldo, You have gotten some great advice here especially regarding cultural expectations and human behavior. I don't know what I can add to this, but rest assured there are several teen girls of Indian origin growing up in US who have more or less retained some of their cultural values and some might be even more traditional than you, being stuck in a
time-warp created by their parents, which can come as a shock to you.:) As JHS and others have said, there is no normative American culture and regardless of peer pressure you should do what you feel is most
comfortable for you--especially regarding sexuality, boyfriend, drinking etc, the main concern of the people who are warning you in India. If Caltech didn't already do this, you may ask them to put you in touch with Indian or South Asian student for you to correspond with and ask questions. </p>

<p>My only fear for you is that you will be away from your family for long stretches of time--how often do you plan to go back home?--so you'll get homesick. I hope you have family or family friends in US who will take you in during the short breaks so you feel connected to caring adults and get occasional home-cooked food.</p>

15

<p>Noldo:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>I don't know if CalTech dorms offer any opportunities for cooking, but it may be a good idea to bring along a cookbook with Indian recipes. Especially if you can't live without rasam, sambar and avial :) .
(Also, if you haven't already done so, get some cooking practice, maybe with your mom's help. I didn't - and it was a LONG time before the Indian dishes I cooked were edible, even if my wife was too polite to say so.)</p></li>
<li><p>Be prepared to have a lot of Americans off-campus exclaim "But you speak English so well!" . There is a large percentage of the American public that's unaware that most schools in India are taught in English.</p></li>
<li><p>Also be prepared to field remarks like "Say something in Indian" . Yes, it will be a drag to explain for the n'th time about Hindi/ Tamil/ Telugu and all the other state-specific languages. Deal with it.</p></li>
<li><p>You don't need to run up huge phone bills for long-distance calls. If you & your parents install Skype (or a similar free program) on your laptops, you can talk all day long for free.</p></li>
<li><p>There are a couple of wonderful American entities called 'thrift stores' and 'garage sales' . You will love them. Especially if you aren't rich.</p></li>
</ol>

16

<p>Be aware of the innate tendency of people to self-segregate racially....in some schools. I do not know about CalTech, but it would be natural for you to connect and create a core group of friends from other internationals and/or other East Indians (international or US) because there is a commonality of understanding a shared culture.</p>

<p>Try hard to step outside the box and be aware of opportunities to connect with others from other races and cultures and to learn about them and their lives. Live down the self-segragation stereotype and take advantage of the opportunity to learn about others and the (sometimes strange) way they think.</p>

<p>I lived in Canada for a time, poeple "look" just like the US population, but their are cultural difference and I would still innately connect with other US people, especially the first year! We all tend to connect with that which is familiar, I went to dinner at a friend's home (in Canada) and we realised that whilst there were people from England, South Africa, US, Oz, etc., what we all were was NOT Canadian...that was amusing....it happens. So, make the effort to be aware of and open to all opportunities to connect.</p>

17

<p>Somemom,
I don't want to hijack this thread, because it is a really good one with excellent posts, but I am wondering if you could list the Canadian cultural differences, like JHS did for the US. My D will be attending school in eastern Canada. I lived in Vancouver for 5 years in the 80's and knew things were different, but could never clearly figure out what it was that made me always feel the outsider in a country where ethnically I was a fit, but culturally really was not. The differences are subtle, but very definitely there.</p>

18

<ol>
<li> Write to the head of your department at Caltech and ask them if they would please assign you to an email 'pen-pal'--preferably an Indian female junior or senior. When they give you that address, ask your pen pal for the 'insider' scoop--including professors, school groups, best socializing opportunities etc.</li>
</ol>

<p>If she no longer lives in India--you could bring her an Indian treat from home....</p>

<ol>
<li> btw...travelling 6000 miles or 9000 miles as my sons do is no biggie. these days air passengers are severly restricted in the number of kilos allowed--usually 20k for economy class, 32 for business class. That works out to be two medium sized bags or one large duffle. Your gate agent may allow you a few extra kilos--but you can't count on that.</li>
</ol>

<p>You might want to bring the minimal amount of clothing--and buy 'American' outfits when you arrive.</p>

<p>Bring a few special photos of your family and your home. Your new friends will want to have visuals.</p>

<ol>
<li> Realize this important reality: you WILL suffer culture shock. What does culture shock feel like? Having been an immigrant twice in my life, I can tell you EXACTLY. It feels like irritation--an incredible annoyance. You will find yourself thinking and saying: "THEY (Americans) have such and such ANNOYING behavior!!" " THEY say this, THEY say that!!" " THEY, THEY, THEY !!!"</li>
</ol>

<p>In fact, culture shock is merely your brain struggling to cope with a drastic change of place. The annoyance has nothing to do with your new home--or the people living in the new place. Your annoyance is simply an internal struggle. Try to recognize it as such--and you will be far happier in the US.</p>

<p>When you find yourself thinking or saying "THEY do such and such and THEY say this and that"--try to recognize the irritation for what it is--an internal struggle. Hear yourself thinking or saying the word "THEY" and put that annoyance where it belongs--in a separate compartment in your brain, the one called "Adjusting to a new country." Then go on with your day.</p>

<p>If you only socialize with other immigrants, your annoyance and/or sturglle to adjust will be magnified. You need some immigrant friends to empathize with you--but you will miss too much if you confine your friendships to non-Americans. </p>

<p>Find a bridge to making close American friends. Be on alert for highly critical immigrants who do nothing but bash the new country. While they may be amusing or slightly comforting, their vehemence indicates a 'failure to thrive' in the new place. There will be some foreign students who never make American friends. Take them in small doses if possible--would be my advice.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Set aside weekly time to socialize. Don't hide in your books. Go to lectures. Got o theatre and music performances. Go to the Pasadena parade--etc etc.</p></li>
<li><p>Write weekly travelogue emails/blogs to a group of friends--describing your impressions and misadventures as a frewshman Indian girl at Caltech. Save those emails/blogs. Hint: the funniest ones get the most responses.</p></li>
</ol>

19

<p>WasOnceMellowMom -- I will take on the challenge of replying to your thread about U.S./Canadian differences, but will write it in a way to provide further insight to the OP from India, so we don't hijack her thread, but rather add to her understanding of the U.S.</p>

<p>As American-born citizens, we had occasion to live and work in Canada for 9 years in community-based professions, so we got to know many families. We arrived with 2 young children, had a 3rd there, took on dual citizenship, and faced the decision to return to the U.S. Below are my personal observations. It is easy to jump on any one phrase and nail me, so please don't... </p>

<p>Because we were deciding where to continue raising our own children and work within communities, my H and I noticed and processed the differences about the two countries before deciding to return to the U.S. We gave it much thought together. We found:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Americans pride themselves on being a "melting pot" that accepts all comers to this country and encourages them to become Americans. This is understood to be "welcoming." Canada strives to be a "mixing bowl" in which cultural/ethnic differences are maintained and protected, even by government funding formulas to various programs. This is understood to be "respectful of heritage."</p></li>
<li><p>America prizes creativity, enterpreneurship, breaking away, thinking outside-the-box. If you have a new idea, the response is, "Why not try it?"
Canadians are more conservative and respond to untried ideas by saying, "It's never been done before" as a reason not to attempt it.</p></li>
<li><p>America protects the individual citizen's rights with a passion; Canada defends the rights of GROUPS of citizens. This is evident in such things as anti-hate crime laws (Canadian) that disallow forms of hateful speech against
groups. The same words would be legally permissible in the U.S. as the individual's right to free speech.</p></li>
<li><p>Canada is bilingual (French/English) since its founding as a nation. It has had 2 official languages since the beginning; and with that a tacit acknowledgement of two religions (Catholic/Protestant). The public schools, court system, and other government institutions carry out bilingualism nationwide, even though the actual numbers of Francophones are concentrated in and near the Province of Quebec. The government/schools expect Francophones to learn to speak English, and vice-versa through many kinds of language instruction starting in Kindergarten, whether one hour daily ("Core French") or complete all-day immersion in the language unfamiliar to the child.
Even though there are increasing numbers of Spanish speaking citizens and residents in the U.S., they are relative latecomers so there is resistance and resentment to making Spanish an official second language. </p></li>
<li><p>Separation of Church and State is weaker in Canada, because part of the initial formation of the nation was to reassure Quebec that Catholicism as well as French would be maintained. THerefore, in the neighborhood we lived in (in Ottawa, the nation's capital), five families sent children to five different publicly funded school districts: a nonreligious French-taught school for francophone children; a Catholic school for francophone children; a nonreligious school for English-speaking children with one hour daily of French; a nonreligious school for English-speaking children in which only French was spoken all day; a Catholic school for English-speaking children with one hour of French daily. In Canada it's possible to attend Catholic schools for no fee to parents (that is, funded by public taxes from all). If a family prefers a Jewish or Islamic religious education, they pay private tuitions plus the public school taxes.
In the U.S., if a Catholic family wants a Catholic school, they pay a low private school rate plus public taxes. Same is true for any other religion.</p></li>
<li><p>Despite all the hoopla (=excitement, commotion) about French/English differences in Canada, fully one-third of its citizens come from other countries around the globe and speak other languages in their homes.</p></li>
<li><p>Canadians pride themselves on their peaceful history. They volunteered in WWI and WWII but didn't draft citizens to fight. They express considerable distress over the numbers of guns in the U.S. </p></li>
<li><p>Canadians solve problems in groups by a consensus model, rather than a "majority rules" "let's vote to decide" model. In committees, they talk decisions for long periods of time until all can agree, even if it's everybody's second choice, rather than leave a minority opinion alienated. They table decisions.
Americans more readily call to take a vote, and majority rules; if you're the minority, tough luck, maybe you'll win the next vote, but let's move along and get things done... As a result, Canadians have well-developed abilities in conflict resolution within their institutions, but can take frustratingly long to decide anything (see the part above about creativity, enterpreneurial spirit, etc.). I often felt in Canada like I do with my mom: we can't agree on a movie but rather than argue over two first choices and leaving one of us unhappy, we'd rather both go to our second choice movie. But we have a consensus, and peace.</p></li>
<li><p>Canadians have a love/hate relationship to U.S. culture and has been called "the mouse sleeping next to the elephant." If the elephant rolls over, they get
crushed.</p></li>
<li><p>U.S. population is distributed throughout the nation with major cities peppered north and south, east and west. In Canada, due to weather, a huge percentage of the total population lives within 50 miles of the U.S. border, so the major cities are spread out in a line like one long strand of spaghetti.</p></li>
<li><p>Canada has universal health care, which means when you walk down the street you realize that everyone there is protected in event of catastrophe. American health care comes with employment or is purchased privately at very high rates.
Although Americans moan constantly about how much tax they pay, Canadians pay much more, largely due to health care costs.
Canadian citizens wait longer for some medical procedures that happen quickly in the U.S. In Canada, doctors fees are determined by government, so there's a medical brain drain into the U.S. because doctors here earn three times the pay for the same hard work. </p></li>
<li><p>Canadians have a polite British attitude about waiting in queues (lines). Americans loudly protest having to wait for anything.</p></li>
<li><p>Many Americans amuse themselves reading about entertainment celebrities, while Canadians find similar vicarious thrills reading about the British Royal Family.</p></li>
<li><p>Canada immediately accepts political refugees from around the world, conducting hearings around 2 years later to determine if the political refugee story was legitimate; if so, they may stay put, if not they return home and "queue up" to wait like the economic immigrant hopefuls (takes around 7 years). The Canadian immigration department keeps up with nuances about political turmoil in every country so they can interview political refugees to validate (or invalidate) their stories based on small details.
The U.S. doesn't make the distinction between political and economic immigrants.
As a result, there are immigrants in Canada from war-torn societies whose lives were saved. (The definition of a political refugee is, essentially, if they return home they'll be killed.) For example, when we lived in Canada during the l980's, there were more Somalis living in Canada than anywhere else in the world outside of Somalia.</p></li>
<li><p>Small things but memorable: Canadians leave their shoes at the door while Americans walk through houses with shoes; Canadians frequently say, "Sorry" in regular conversation; there is a rhetorical way many Canadians ends sentences, as follows, "He's a nice fellow, eh?" while Americans might say "y'know?" instead of "eh?"</p></li>
<li><p>In a nutshell, before and during the Revolutionary War, those Americans who didn't want the armed revolution against Britain left and went north to Canada. A lot of the above factoids are explained by this #16.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>I hope I've been fair. Canadians taught me many good values, including fairness and more politeness. But we came back to the U.S. because we missed the creative sparkle. I like both countries in different ways.</p>

20

<p>What a neat post. Kudos.</p>