Forcing a student to live in the dorms

I would like to hear from anyone who has successfully challenged a school and won, when the school wants to force a student to live in the dorms. Student is a sophomore, wants to live in an apartment, has a doctor’s note (due to disability) stating she should live in an apartment. it is distressing to have the school reject her request at this late date. The school offered a different dorm stating it meets with what the doctor wrote, and is quite a bit more expensive and more than we want to pay.

I don’t understand why medically it is preferable to live in a dorm or apartment?

I don’t want to get into details, but sleep disorder is one of the issues.

Have you worked directly with the office of disabilities? DD had luck getting what she needed from them.

The student’s advisor, who turned down the apartment request, is the disability office advisor for the school of music.

Some schools have fairly well known policies that anyone not living with mom and/or dad is to dorm.

The rule isn’t new… I could tell you which of the schools my son is applying to that have the same rule.

The disability isn’t new. The odds are pretty good that the student knew of the rule when applying to the school.

I see no conflict. I think the time to question this rule is before accepting a spot, not a year later.

The disability arose after accepting the spot. the student was not aware of the rule. I was shocked when I learned of it myself. An adult student should be able to chose to live where they want to, particularly to save money. Anyway, the question is directed towards anyone who has challenged this rule or heard about such a challenge.

There is a dividing line in our county for local students who wish to attend our local university. School grads from north of the line, wishing to attend the college in town must dorm.

Those who can’t or won’t, dorm on campus are given the option to attend our “newish” northern university. Most people, once they are admitted to the school in town, choose to pay the extra money and dorm in the established university.

The school makes sure everyone coming in locally, knows the rule by signing off on it.

Paying for furniture and setting up utilities in a new apartment sounds more expensive to me.

They probably don’t want to grant your request because then everyone will want to leave the dorms. It seems the medical letter was the best way to go, but you’ve already tried that. I’ve known several people to get out of the dorm requirement at other schools but they used a medical note. Aunt Bea, living in an apartment is cheaper in many situations. All four of my daughters moved out of dorms (even two in NYC) as soon as they were able, and we saved a lot of money. Utilities are not that expensive, shared among roommates, and furniture is (at least in our case) bought used or cheaply, often from previous tenants. Anyway, can you go back to the sleep specialist and get a letter that makes it more clear that the apartment is medically preferable? The situation is very unfortunate!

Thanks for the responses. yes, the apartment would be cheaper, because the student can teach students in the apartment. the student can earn much more teaching lessons than doing work study. the dormitories would not allow this. Also, she has a sister, grad student, at the same university and they could both use the apartment. And yes I agree, I will ask the sleep specialist.

Our son is not applying to a certain “elite” school in the south because of the dorm-all-4-years issue. At 21-22 years of age I think he’s going to want his own bedroom. Call me crazy. Plus the kid is almost 6’5.

Hope it works out @woodwinds !

@SouthFloridaMom9 - living in a dorm as a senior rarely means sharing a bedroom - almost always it will be a single , and sometimes with a private bathroom. It seems an unusual reason to choose not to apply to a college. And, what does the height matter? Almost every college uses extra long twins…

@SouthFloridaMom9 - living in a dorm as a senior rarely means sharing a bedroom - almost always it will be a single , and sometimes with a private bathroom. It seems an unusual reason to choose not to apply to a college. And, what does the height matter? Almost every college uses extra long twins…

Just wasn’t his vibe . . . the dorm issue sealed it. My son is all arms and legs, a big guy (skinny but tall) and needs his space. He will live on campus the first year probably, but after that he’ll most likely want to move off campus (like his cousins).

I actually think you should not apply when you KNOW in advance that that type of thing will be a problem.

Plus we are mostly a full pay family (which is a blessing all things considered), unless he gets merit aid which seemed unlikely at this particular school. For that kind of $$$ it has to be a GREAT fit. And dictating where he lives 3 - 4 years from now does not constitute a great fit in our mind.

I think what people are saying is that the music fit is much more important than anything else. A little discomfort is ok if the teacher is amazing.

My son’s school requires students to live on campus the first two years. One of his friends, whose parents happen to be enormously wealthy, went ahead and paid the full room and board fee during his sophomore year, even though he lived in a nearby apartment. I don’t know of many parents who can afford this. My S didn’t like living in the dorm and ended up not using the meal plan during his sophomore year (that I was paying for!). I’m sure the school has this requirement in order to fill their dorms as a financial necessity.

Good luck to the OP.

"The school offered a different dorm stating it meets with what the doctor wrote, and is quite a bit more expensive and more than we want to pay. "

Same thing here, we have to pay $1,500 more for a dorm room that meets his accommodation needs.

Either suck it up or get an apartment off campus while you sue. The doctor’s note sounds like the issue - can the doctor write up a more appropriate note? Or is it really that you don’t want your child on campus?

I do not understand though, was the school supposed to provide an apartment, or was the real request to live off-campus and not pay the school for any dorm?

I think the doctor’s note was very good, explaining why she should have her own apartment, and away from the dorms.I think they are just not going to grant any such request.

The dorms are quite a bit more expensive than the average apartments. And i don’t want to sue; it would stress out my student. And if my student can’t finish the school year due to these issues, I don’t want to pay full dorm fare.

I’ve just returned from moving our daughter into her first off campus apartment at a conservatory that required you to leave the dorm after two years. She found a place right across the street from the campus and moved into it with three other girls . When we showed up last week the place was a complete wreck, a real nightmare and not incidentally a Hobson’s Choice if there ever was one. She had no other place to go. We stuck it out and worked along side the repair people and got her in before we left. Absentee landlords are often not in touch with their own properties and this proved to be the case. A week later appliances are getting replaced, leaks fixed , things painted and cleaned, all with the girls on site. It has been extremely stressful for all- parents especially, but in the end our daughter has a great more experience with problem solving, negotiating and teamwork than she would ever have gotten in a dorm. Even with the extra stuff we had to buy ( she was able to buy 90% from other students at the end of last year and put things in storage ) the rent is much cheaper than the dorm and because she makes all her own food from near scratch, the food will be less.

So there are good things to be said for dorm living and for apartment living. She’s learning a hell of a lot more in an apartment, but it’s been an emotionally expensive education. Then again, her years living in a small room with another person was emotionally taxing as well. When I described the ordeal to people at work someone commented that I must have moved in a girl because if it was a boy I probably would have just handed him the keys to the U Haul truck, given him the truck drop off address and told him to call us when he was all moved in. I laughed until I realized that that’s pretty much what my parents did when I was that age…

jb1966, sorry you found the apartment in such a mess. In our case, we had already found a great apartment. Unfortunately, she cannot take it and will be forced to stay in the dorms. the food is bad. Although they claim to provide gluten-free food and alternatives to all the carbohydrates and additives they constantly serve, my daughter found out first year that that was not the case. So eating will be a challenge without the use of a kitchen.