<p>D2 has a chance to attend a state university free or to attend an ivy at full price. She prefers the ivy for its location, student body, access to exceptional professors, reputation, etc.-- ie. the whole experience. The other option is not as highly ranked or regarded, but would recognize her as one of its top students with a variety of incentives. </p>
<p>So..... to be one of many smart students, or honored as one of the few? Sacrifice for the ivy ideal or take the opportunity presented by the state college? If you have been in the same position as a student or parent, I would appreciate your responses. Why was your choice the right one for you, or your child? What was gained or lost?</p>
<p>Depends on a lot of factors. What is her major/career goals? Would attending the ivy burden your family? How is the quality of academics at the state university?</p>
<p>Well, it depends on intended or possible majors and career goals, which state university, which Ivy, what the price difference is, and how much debt would be involved.</p>
<p>She has two offers of either totally free at 1 state university or another that would cost us 12k oos. The Ivy is Brown. The state U’s have 16k ug students, while Brown is abt. 1/3 of that. Unlike Brown, neither public U have stellar student population statistics, great campuses or campus locations. D is a great student and could go many ways-- science, comp science, engineering, etc. But is unsure of major and would like the flexibility of Brown’s curriculum. Sending her there would mean everything I earn plus for four years. D1 attended CH on a full ride (we got super lucky twice) and was saying today how she wished she had gone to a much smaller school but didn’t think any school was worth 50k+ per year. On the one hand I think if we have the capacity we should allow her to go to her #1 choice of school, and the cost is not much different than a public school oos or most private schools, but on the other hand I think that’s a quarter of a million dollars and insane. I would love to hear from posters who had to make the same choice and what it meant for them or their child!</p>
<p>Lisa - the families of 40-70% of the students at all private elite colleges have faced the same issue as you. I say 40-70% because that is the range of students that are full pay at the elites and almost all of them had some less expensive options. On top of these there also countless students at state universities that also had admissions to elite colleges and made the other choice. It really boils down to what the colleges in question have to offer to your student and whether the cost difference is material to your family. For our D, the ivy was much better in her intended major and her main extracurricular interest than CH and we were in a position to pay the difference without too much pain so we have been happy to do so. She will be graduating shortly and has loved her four years. Good luck with your decision making.</p>
<p>Lisa, my son attends Brown as a computer science/applied math major. The rigor of the material presented is far superior to that taught at our local state university.</p>
<p>Nevertheless, the price to be paid for that difference is truly hard to justify. It would make more sense to take the free ride and get an Ivy League diploma for one’s grad school. It is, after all, the last degree which counts the most.</p>
<p>From your other posts, it looks like one of the state schools may be UNC-CH, which has an excellent reputation in CS and other sciences, but no engineering.</p>
<p>Brown at a $45,000 or so per year premium does not seem like it is worth it over UNC-CH if that is the case.</p>
<p>Obviously, if majoring in engineering is the goal, Brown has it while UNC-CH does not, but there are many other schools that have a better reputation and recruiting for engineering than Brown.</p>
<p>Or is her real goal a prestige-school job like investment banking or management consulting?</p>
<p>I feel for ya! My D wanted to attend an Ivy three years ago, but it wasn’t in the cards. She ended up attending a state with a generous scholarship. I was heartbroken for her.</p>
<p>But since then, we have thanked our lucky stars so many times that fate chose this school for her. She has had so many opportunities at her school that she would most likely not have had at an Ivy, because of the competition.</p>
<p>She decided that she would aim for the Ivy for grad school, which we thought was a great idea. </p>
<p>You know your daughter and how she would function at an Ivy. But the state school experience has been very beneficial for us.</p>
<p>We also told her that because we were paying very little for her education, that any study abroad programs she wanted to pursue would be endorsed by us. She’s taken us up on that. ;)</p>
<p>Well it’s 3 nights now without sleep! UCB, I wish the state option were CH. d1 went there and it was a superb experience in many respects – beautiful campus, nice town, relationships with professors through honors, lab work, assisting in gen Biology etc. Now,however, she counsels her sister to go with a smaller school to know more of her professors, to get better advising and support etc. d2 options of state schools are stronger than some but not as strong as her sisters. I don’t want to focus on their negatives because we are exceptionally greatful for the opportunities offered her. But, it they aren’t her first choice or ours for the reasons I listed above. Ok, I guess I’m back to the job boards to find more work!</p>
<p>Lisa, is your daughter an introvert or an extrovert? An extrovert will readily seek out professors and opportunities anywhere she goes. An introvert is better served by being placed in the heart of the smartest peer group and greatest challenges, where she is likely to be encouraged and even “dragged along” to try new experiences because her friends are doing so.</p>
<p>@LC82, I could use the same pay description for my kid as Lisa used. My salary is about the same as a full pay at an elite school. Combined with DH’s income we don’t qualify for FA anywhere. Maybe their family is in the same situation.</p>
<p>My DHs income pays our bills while mine is used or saved for the extra expenses of life ie. new car, a house down payment etc. We put off and put off major expenses. But we did just replace our 10+ year old car needing a transmission so good on that front. ( When D2 goes to school we will sell her 12 yo Civic for scrap as it has abt 150k miles and both interior and exterior saw their best days 6 years ago. ). So, from that you can see we are the thrifty middle class and don’t qualify for aid at most institutions. </p>
<p>You asked if D2 was an introvert or extrovert. She has gone to a small public school and has grown tremendously from that benefit which is why this morning I’m leaning toward Brown and finding a way to make it work. But of course doubt creeps in when I ponder the details… Anyway she has gone on three scholarship weekends and it has been great to see her say, who is that? Then go up and introduce herself and find something witty to say if the person isn’t too chatty. So, she would be fine at a bigger school if needed. </p>
<p>On the one hand I think, what is that extra money for if not to live your life and make the choices that bring happiness? Too often I’ve squirreled it away and we haven’t had the vacations, haven’t bought the fun things that create and color your memories. I would love for her to have the opportunity to go to what she, i and her father see as one of the most attractive campuses in an ideal setting, with smart and talented faculty and students and b/c of being thrifty I have enough for year 1. </p>
<p>Well but on the other hand…it’s just school when it comes down to it, they often teach the same material using the same or similar texts, and public school option 1 would give her travel. </p>
<p>As someone else said it breaks your heart to have to choose. You give up so much one for the other. Thanks everyone for your input. It has been great to vent without putting the burden of my indecision soley on D2 and DH!</p>