Looking back on it I would’ve skipped the intercollegiate sports team and just done intramurals. Unless you’re on scholarship, it just takes up too much time and attention. Just my experience.
D. tried only club team at college. And even with this much lesser commitment than Varsity would be, she had to quit after freshman year, she had too much on her plate, simply did not have time for her sport which was a very important part of her life from the age of 5 thru graduating from HS. She declined pursuits of several coaches and ruled out Varsity participation because she predicted to be very busy at college, which happened to be even more than predicted. I bow to anybody who does sport at college, it is a huge commitment that many would not try.
As for practice and the methods of coaching (or lack thereof), I would just stay out of it altogether. Having been on both sides (D1 scholarship player at a major program and coaching)–all I can say, is everyone has their own pedagogy to coaching. What I can say, is that repetitions are the greatest commodity you can provide a player, and this might be part of the thinking. Ultimately, one month in, is too soon to make any definitive conclusions–give it some time.
Glad to hear it is a bit better. @soxfan99 said it well, so excuse me if I repeat some points. If your athlete sticks with it, when you are senior mom, you will see new parents coming in, as you are now, and think, “there is so much they don’t realize.” The knowledge comes after your first athlete goes through their years. Between now and then, there can be great confusion, misunderstanding, and even frustration to get to the good parts.
Except for that 1 in 100 athlete and speaking in a generalization, freshman in any sport, be it D1 or D3, tend not to see a lot of action, yes, that is business as usual. She earned her spot on the team at the school, but now she has to earn her right to play. Like starting from scratch in some ways. Practice will be different for the line-up players versus the other athletes. That doesn’t stop her and other freshman that want to excel from getting together and doing drills on their own time. The ones that want to get in there will do this. It is all a test to see how bad they want it. They were special when they were recruited, but now they have to pull ahead of an new pack of players to prove it.
Ignore the people quitting. Going to a college team is like going to work for the first time and realizing there are a lot of people that don’t really want to work that hard, or are not that bright. On a team, even the very best ones, some kids just don’t want to work as hard. Or their focus changes. They quit because they don’t want to be part of it for many reasons, which may not be reflective of a bad team environment. The ones that love the sport and are there for the right reasons, can work around a lot of issues before they would ever consider quitting.
Freshman year for any athlete is brutal. Because you tell people your kid is going to college to play and everyone assumes they will be the starting pitcher, the forward, the quarterback, #1 in the line-up, or basketball center. So they ask, “Where are they playing in the line-up? What’s their era? How many points are they scoring in a game, how many goals?”… When you are just hoping to goodness they see playing time. And that they don’t get injured. Parents of athletes know the path. But we all have to be first time parents when our first athlete goes to college. It is stressful, and it is a beautiful thing getting beyond freshman year. Frankly, junior and senior years are the sweetest beyond dreams if your player is happy and integral to the team while contributing to their success. It can be a bumpy road emotionally getting there though.
I had a male athlete so maybe it is different for girls, but it was clear, the player needs to talk to the coach, NOT the parents. It is time for them to be adults. It’s not like parent’s are stricken from a relationship with the coach, and I do encourage sending a message if you know there is trouble, but your player should set up time with the coach like they would a teacher during office hours. She should ask what she can do to get better and see playing time faster. The coach will appreciate the initiative of the player way more than taking a call from mommy asking what to do. Some kids at this age have joined the military, certainly kids this age should be able to manage their sports mostly on their own. After 4 years, I have an amazing forever and close relationship with my son’s coach, cause I empowered him and respected boundaries. More than that, my son now has a relationship with the coach that will be important his entire life. He goes in as a kid, but after four years, he left as an adult and the relationship with the coach turned to a great trusting and supportive friendship. Encourage her to build the relationship, you will know if you need to step in, then it is absolutely ok. If they are a good coach, they should be checking in with you this fall regardless. Good luck!
I am glad it’s getting better for your daughter. I also have to agree with the previous poster who said that it is not unusual for some players to get more practice time than others, simply because the focus at the college level is winning.
I also echo the sentiment that players who are not getting that practice time should do something on their own. My son has, every off-season starting in high school, attended outside training camps and worked with private coaches so that he could come into the pre-season ready and this year won the starting job as a sophomore over a returning junior and senior. Obviously your daughter could not do that given her injury but it is something for her to consider.
Also, there is much more turnover in a college program than in high school or club sports. The time commitment for both athletics and academics sometimes requires a hard choice. Or kids find different interests as they grow into adults. It’s a big reason my son chose a D3 school even though he had interest from some smaller D1 programs. He’s double majoring in mechanical and aerospace engineering and didn’t think he could balance that workload with a D1 athletic commitment and also have time for other interests.
Update: So, 3 games into the season and she’s officially the only one who hasn’t played yet. So she’s back to being discouraged. The injury isn’t the issue since she runs and works out with the team, even if not included in the drills during practice. Unfortunately this experience is negatively impacting her love of the game, which is really hard to watch.
It’s still early, but what’s happening with practice? Are the other frosh who are playing doing normal practices while she’s just running? Or is she doing drills too?
Has she spoken with the coaches about why – I would NOT do this in an accusatory (all the other frosh are playing why not me) way even if that’s how she’s feeling; but has she constructively asked about how she’s doing and what she can do to see playing time?