<p>My daughter LOVES University of Cincinnati. She spent two weeks before starting school in marching band camp where they marched and practiced 13 hours a day. Her toes were actually bleeding from all the marching,but she is a very happy clam. We attended a football game that was immensely exciting. </p>
<p>She loves all the activities that is going on such as "Taste of Cincinnati," where local restaurants bring samples from their menu for kids to try. She got a free Chapotle Burrito. She likes her roommates and the honor's dorm.She also met some nice cute guys, which from my perspective isn't so great!
We will see how she feels when school actually starts on Sept 20.</p>
<p>One month into it, D is not having an easy time making new friends (although her roomate is o.k.) . She says her classes at her small LAC (known for having great teachers) are not great. She calls home a lot. She is daunted by the expectations of her sports coach (one of the reasons she selected her school) and is thinking about not competing in her sport. Food isn't like home. Maybe she should transfer. . . . Please tell me it gets better!</p>
<p>californian your daughter should give it some time. It might be getting used to the experience of being on her own at that school or anywhere. Unless she is planning a pro career, in my opinion, the sport is only good if it helps her meet people with a common interest and she enjoys it. That's the advise we gave our son playing a sport at a D3 school.</p>
<p>So far so good! He has been there for 3 weeks (one week was orientation). He likes all of his professors. He was able to get into all of the classes that he needed for this semester. His dorm is newer and very nice. He gets along with his roommate. He says that the food is very good.</p>
<p>Fun has been football games, movies, rec center, several BBQs, dinnner out, card games, billiards, and the mall. He loves the rec center and seems to really enjoy using their track.</p>
<p>My freshman daughter is having a fine time of it all to date. She's been to many social functions and has a decent roommate. The workload has already ramped up and she's now back to habits her mother and I saw at home - in bed by 9-10 (had to work with the roomie on this), up early for exercise and homework during the breaks in classes. The early grades are excellent.</p>
<p>She loves the football games and all the associated hubub. She's in a no-alcohol dorm, but it appears a few kids are imbibing somewhat nonetheless.</p>
<p>Life is good. :) University life agrees with her. No homesickness, but she misses the dog...and wants her fish. University food is beginning to grow old. One minor bout with a mild bug. She actually went down to the FSU health center and got her last required immunization! Amazing...she HATES injections! Our last child is growing up. </p>
<p>On the empty-nest side, my wife and I do stuff we haven't done in years. It's a lot more quiet around the house...but fun. Where's the hottub going? Hmmm...woohoo, what a woman!</p>
<p>It must be hard seeing all these glowing posts while your daughter is not experiencing as smooth a transition.</p>
<p>I recall, back in the dark ages of my own college experience, having a tough time for the first month or so, and not feeling that I could share that with my parents; I felt so alone and "peculiar." Turns out that many felt just as I did. </p>
<p>It is my hope that, with time, your D will adjust to her new environment and schedule and come to love it. Some of us just need a bit more time than others! And if this isn't the right place for her, she can, at the appropriate time, transfer to someplace that is, knowing that she gave this her best shot.</p>
<p>My D seems to love school- good roommate and suitemate- although a month into it the honeymoon phase is over and they are hitting some bumps. they have done everything together and one is pulling away. The classes have been great- she's a bit nervous about the 8-10 page papers when she has only written 3-4 page papers. first one is due this week- she is a stresser naturally. She's been gone a month, she's got friends, starting to do the extra stuff at school, likes a boy, and is having fun. this at one of those isolated smal LAC's.
She kept saying she is getting sick but using Airborne and catching up on her sleep at times has kept her well. but me- being at home- I'm the one who came down with mono! Ick! Starting my third week of it but hey, my D can almost always find me when she wants to talk!</p>
<p>I just dropped my son off on Sunday so for me its too soon to really tell if its going to work out. But if first days are any indication..I'd say yes. While I went off to parent orientation he settled into his room. On my way to the convocation I caught a glimpse of him playing frisbee with a group of students. After convocation as we were saying our tearful goodbyes, someone came by and asked my son to walk with him to their next event. I was just so happy that my quiet DS had already found people to hang out with. I know the academics will be challenging but every time we talked on Sunday, we both said that this is the right place for him. I am still amazed that I didn't remember how absolutely beautiful the campus. I cam home to an empty house, shed a few tears and now have to figure out what I'm really going to do with the rest of my life. And I'll be sitting here waiting for that first phone call..his freshman class has gone off campus for three days for "frosh camp" so I'm not really expecting a phone call until later in the week. Oh my, this change in our lives feels so much bigger than I had imagined.</p>
<p>Oaklandmom,
I thought of you Sunday when on campus. Attending such a small school is a treat when it comes to talking to staff (like bursar's ofice), or your S deciding to swich his social event during orientation.
Its always exciting and scary to be in a new environment & with new people</p>
<p>cur-how did your daughter's course schedule finally work out? I thought I recalled that she was closed out of a few courses which she either wanted or needed? This surprised me a bit considering that she is attending a LAC where this situation supposedly rarely occurs.</p>
<p>And how is she enjoying the courses she eventually enrolled in? Often, second choice courses are a blessing in disguise.</p>
<p>
[quote]
It must be hard seeing all these glowing posts while your daughter is not experiencing as smooth a transition.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Yes, when your child is not happy, you feel like perhaps you are the only one. My son, while not a freshman, returned to same school as soph---thinking positively that this year he would feel different. Fresh. year behind him, some medical issues resolved, etc. So far, this year he is no happier.</p>
<p>
[quote]
classes at her small LAC (known for having great teachers) are not great
[/quote]
</p>
<p>That's a disappointment! Wellesley, yes? Did she get into classes she wanted? Pick her profs or just take luck of the draw? Coming from a California high school (public?), she's likely to find a top LAC to be a huge adjustment in terms of expectations. Will your D share details, or is she just feeling generally overwhelmed?</p>
<p>My son, who refused to read any college guides, now readily concurs with the fact that Vassar is rated to be one of the happiest schools. He is elated.</p>
<p>dstark, yes, he realizes that he needs to make that decision this year. He is trying to weigh pros and cons. The worry is there that he will chose another school that doesn't "fit"--or maybe has to face that it is coming from within.</p>
<p>If it's coming from within, that's one thing. Otherwise, after a year in college, my guess is he has a better understanding about what he wants and doesn't want in a school. He will make a good decision.</p>
<p>Do you think the school is a good match for your son?</p>
<p>Honestly, I thought it was a great match and so did he--before he was actually there. I still don't see the things he talks about, but maybe as a parent (old person) one can't be tuned into those things. To me, all the kids look pretty much like he does, all seem academically oriented, etc. His complaint is the greek life (of course I wouldn't see) and just the "feeling" he has of the general student make-up.</p>
<p>It's true, the school is obviously not very diverse (except for internationals), but he always said that was not important to him and he fits right in with the white, upper middle class types (at least in theory). I think he is fearful of the transfer because he did feel so positive about this school and he is afraid that until you actually live there, you can't know. </p>
<p>Reminds me of the thread from the mother whose D came home after just a week---she was sure it wasn't for her. In some ways that D. was very astute to figure it out quickly and act on it, instead of doubting her gut reactions.</p>
<p>We are trying to leave decision to him, as he is the one to live with it (but I am the one that hears about it!)</p>
<p>mkm
I don't recall where your S attends. IF the culture is Greek, $$$, drinking, etc., and the majority of students are sloppy with homework, then perhaps best to transfer. Back in my day, I made the wrong decision about colleges. I had good classes in honors program, & graduated in 2 1/2 years. I have few fond memories of college.
My advice is to encourage S to spend time at other colleges where he has fiends, attend some classes, and get a feel for other places. That will help him decide. He has at least 2 more years, and time goes slowly</p>
<p>Californian, I went through something like that last year with my D. She's at an excellent LAC that had everything she wanted and where everyone she knew was extremely happy with academics, social life, etc. A few weeks after getting there she became very dissatisfied - with her teachers, the lack of diversity, the lack of personal challenge - despite making friends and getting involved in lots of activities. Her doubts about and unhappiness with the school waxed and waned but basically lasted through winter break, during which she was seriously questionning transfer at the end of freshman year. However, as soon as she went back after that break, "magically" everything was wonderful - loved her classes, friends, etc., etc. Now as a sophomore, she's ecstatic to be back at school. Long story short - I think she was homesick and depressed. Not necessarily missing family, but more missing her very close knit circle of friends with whom she had grown up, missing the intimacy and comfort she felt with them. I think she also was mourning the security and familiarity of the community in which she had grown up and feeling somewhat overwhelmed by the newness around her. She never has done transitions very well. So it took her awhile to adjust, but when she returned after winter break, I think she felt that the school and the people were now familiar; she was developing deeper relationships with her friends; she was able to pick her classes more carefully; but most of all she was just able to settle in and enjoy. So give it time, and have faith that your daughter will work it out one way or another - and grow and learn in the process.</p>
<p>"To me, all the kids look pretty much like he does, all seem academically oriented, etc. His complaint is the greek life (of course I wouldn't see) and just the "feeling" he has of the general student make-up."</p>
<p>I met someone who has a S that attended a private southern school with this type of atmosphere. He was miserable for one semester, and then told his parents, at the beginning of the second semester, that he had a few friends and could last. His parents told him that this was supposed to be an enjoyable time, and not an endurance contest. This year he transferred to a large city school in the Northeast. The young man felt that most students at the former school attended private prep high schools in the south. He very much felt like an outsider. He grew up in an upper middle class home, in New Jersey, and attended an excellent public high school. He just felt that he did not fit in with the student body, and there simply was not enough diversity. They did not pick up on the potential difficulties simply by visiting the campus. </p>
<p>I sincerely hope that your son can find a school where he will be happy.</p>