<p>just got back from a series of orientation/welcome sessions.
i don't meant to offend any cornellians who no doubt worked v. hard to prepare them,
but they are pretty incessant, repetitive, and kind of a drag... </p>
<p>i met a few people and had lunch& dinner, but w/ the kind of people that are pleasant
to talk/chatter to, but that you somehow know won't exactly become close friends with, if you know what i mean. </p>
<p>feelin' kind of lonely actually and am just wondering if i'm the only having a less than stellar time.</p>
<p>I’m a new sophomore transfer student (going through orientation like the freshmen), and I feel exactly the same. I can’t say that I’m having a good time right now. Thus far, I feel that the orientation / welcome events heavily rely on the students to be outgoing and talkative, so for people like me who are more reserved / do not like talking with strangers, the events are awkward and drag on forever. Last night was Transfer First Night, and that was basically stuffing all the transfers into Willard Hall and merely letting them talk for god-knows-how-long. During the First Night, I just ate and chatted with some people (for no longer than 5 minutes per person), found the Hall was getting too stuffy and smelly (b.o.), and left before midnight, well after many others had already left. I know many (such as the poster above) would say that it is my own fault for not actively seeking out the fun in person, but people need to realize that those with introverted personalities find it really difficult to suddenly become lively and amiable. I am not extremely shy, and I have no problem speaking my mind in public settings. But like you, I just feel it is pointless and extremely fake to have to feign interest and strike a forced conversation with random strangers who I know I won’t become friends with, simply because I do not make close, trustworthy friends simply out of talking with unfamiliar people. So no, you are not alone if that makes you feel any better.</p>
<p>In all honesty, barely anyone makes their friends from orientation. It is almost always who you live with/what clubs and groups you join that more powerfully influence your friends.</p>
<p>I heard Ithaca weather has been pretty nice. Are you able to go down to the gorge? My daughter just left us last night and will be on campus on Sat. While she was visiting us, I notice she was busy organizing parties for the orientation week(not school sponsored). </p>
<p>The first few days during orientation week were kind of lonely for my older daughter, who is a senior this year. She pushed herself to go into collegetown and crashed few parties as a freshman. She got herself invited to see a movie at the mall with people she barely knew, and they are best friends today. The three girls she met the first week (with whom she crashed many parties with) are still very good friends and joined the same sorority.</p>
<p>I am sure you will all have stories to tell someday. My daughter didn’t really start to have a good time until we left (Sat). She said Orientation week is the best week because it is the only time you could have a good time without any schoolwork. She did say most of orientation events were kind of lame.</p>
<p>CUIRL13 is right, you are not alone. Go out of your way to meet some people. The first few weeks of school is the only time it’s not awkward to introduce yourself to new people. Keep your door open if you are living in a single.</p>
<p>I agree with the thread starter. A lot of the people I met are friendly, sure, but not as in a close friend. I miss my best friends back home who I can tell everything to and they won’t judge me for it. A lot of the people I met are reserved and conversations are basic like: where you from, major, name and then afterward it gets awkward. It’s a big change for me because I’m used to a diverse school where the majority was asian and the minority was white. I feel a lot of pressure and work coming up. I also feel isolated at times, not being able to go to various places like I used to back in nyc.</p>
<p>guys, i’m really not trying to have a bad attitude here
i’m attending most of the orient. events (and you know that’s alot), saying hello to ppl, etc. etc.
orientation is kind of weird because you’re with people that are from other colleges& majors. which isn’t a bad thing persay but you end up having nothing in common.
i don’t have a roommate so i guess that’s another thing.</p>
<p>sorry if i came out as aloof& whiny. i’m trying. </p>
<p>@CUIR13- thank you so much. i could totally relate to the stuff that you said.
and yes, it’s true, i’m kind of introverted- not one to go door to door saying hi& chattering smalltalk. </p>
<p>and i’m kind of getting tired of the whole hey i’m *** *** i plan to major in *** i live in **** hall i’m from *** state wow, from that far, awkward silence wow that was a really long speech, awkward silence, so what about that android book, eh? and smiling at whatever the other person says cycle
again, i’m not trying to have a bad attitude, but i’m just not that kind of person.</p>
<p>You need to realize these things take time. When you first meet someone, yes, the conversation is going to be superficial. It doesn’t matter whether you’re starting college or grad school, the opening conversations will always be about where you’re from, where you went to school, etc. You will naturally make friends later on (mostly from parties, your dorm, classes). You shouldn’t just expect to become best buddies with someone overnight.</p>
<p>And, as someone who is introverted, you will always take longer to make friends. It has nothing to do with Cornell or other people. It has to do with YOU. I say this as someone who is introverted myself. At some point, you are going to have to put yourself out there.</p>
<p>Ones - I am Asian and my daughter is half Asian, so I am particularly sensitive to integration of Asians into American society. My brother also went to Cornell many years ago, so he has his prospective as an Asian at Cornell.</p>
<p>As a freshman my daughter tried to be friends with Asians in her dorm. But she found they were fairly segregated and didn’t want to be part of “main stream.” Many weekends when she was going out she would invite some of them to come along, but they would opt to stay in to study. A lot of Asian parents put pressure on their kids to get good grades and discourage their kids from going out. I think it is a mistake. College is a time to explore and meet new people. It is important to get good grades, but it doesn’t have to be 4.0. It is important to network with people at Cornell because they will be people who could help you get jobs and new business venture someday. It is especially important not to just socialize with your own race. </p>
<p>We told our daughter she had to get a minimum 3.0 at Cornell for us to continue to fund her education. She has much higher GPA than that. She is able to it by working on campus, doing a lot of ECs and partying.</p>
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<p>It is not a diverse school if majority is Asian, and that’s not the norm.:)</p>
<p>can we skip some of the orientation stuff, even the required ones?
and does anyone have any idea why the bio meeting for freshmen tomorrow is 3 hours long??!!
i mean, i love bio, but three hours?</p>
<p>I think it’s totally normal to feel this way. A lot of freshmen get to college expecting to find their new best friends right away, but you just need to realize that these things do take time. The bright side is that everyone is in the same boat, learning to adjust and eager to meet new people. Start by getting to know your floormates, and remember that clubs are an awesome way to make friends. Personally, my closest friends came from my hall, my clubs, and my OL group.</p>
<p>orientation is nothing like it is during the year. don’t worry too much. the balance of things will be way different when you have classes. they can definitely provide a better common topic of conversation, for one thing, and they also get you mixing with people who are likely to share your interests.</p>
<p>I went up to Collegetown for a few hours and it seemed to be little more than a lot of guys drinking beer and a few upperclassmen girls. Oh, and lots of police. Not really my thing. That said, the people on my hall are at least making an effort to get to know people. I think once clubs and classes get started, we’ll all start to find our niche. I will say, though, I definitely regret going for a single.</p>
<p>I remember my sons’ freshman year orientation. They were up at school together but they thought orientation lasted too long. As the years went on, and they moved off campus this had become a great week for them, going to the parties in college town and meeting up with all of their friends. I would suggest trying to get to know your floormates during this week. </p>
<p>In four years (senior year) you will wish you could do it all over. My sons are having a tough time realizing this is their last year. They have loved their time at Cornell. They started out being very low key, but time has a way of making you more confident and willing to put yourself out there.</p>
<p>Wishing all of you a wonderful 4 years, enjoy it because it will be four of the fastest years in your life. Work hard and play hard!!!</p>
<p>It’s okay to take some time for yourself during orientation. Some of these activities might interest you:
*working out at the health center
*biking around campus
*visiting the Cornell plantations or art museum
*helping out at the student run farm, Dilmun Hill Farm (I think they have work parties on Sundays and another day during the week).
*visiting the orchards and eating some of those delicious peaches they grow there.
*finding a beautiful spot to simply relax and watch the action around you.
*yes, exploring the clubs you might find interesting.
*hiking down to the Ithaca Farmer’s Market which is fabulous.</p>
<p>Everyone starts new experiences in different ways. There’s not a “one size fits all” orientation so it’s important to recognize the activities that are just right for you and those you simply tolerate.</p>
<p>It seems like the campus has something for almost everyone, so it seems like it’s a good time to begin finding a few events, places, or activities that are just right for you.</p>
