“…just can’t spend his income like his friends with financial aid can.”
I’m quite skeptical. This statement has an odor of the kind of privilege and judgement that is often placed on people who don’t act as poor as others think they should. It doesn’t sound like a problem of orthodontia, but of people (not teeth) failing to stay in their assigned places.
Obviously it’s not an individual problem, many kids face these obstacles but usually get no aid or sympathy for their struggles as there is no “demonstrated” need.
My son could not go out and socialize as much as his friends because he was a student residential advisor one year. Free room and board but had to be available. He took his job seriously and was there.
As a family, because we had kids who worked a lot in the summers over many years, it really cut into family vacations. Kids needed the money for college.
So yes, for many of us, there are sacrifices in sending kids to college. For having kids at all. Sacrificing for college is good sacrifice. Sometimes we have to sacrifice to give our kids things that are not so uplifting, even painful.
I somehow am having a really hard time to feel “sorry” for the “poor kid” who could not afford to dine out because of his $80k+ college tuition.
He sure has shining boots with lots of straps to pull himself up.
Well yes. Those of us who saw a parent break their body just to keep the wolf from the door do find it a bit difficult to sympathize when the kid chose this path him/herself.
Perhaps his friends on FA are a lot more careful about getting the best value for their money so that they never “feel poor”, unlike those with higher incomes but even higher spending habits.
No. It’s just their bills get paid by the system, wealthy friends’s bills get paid by their parents, he has to earn, save and pay. It has nothing to do with the college choice as all are attending same college.
81K/year, then it should be a private school, I though most of the private schools will provide the kids plenty of work study opportunities…no? how about summer interns? tutoring?
I am chiming in defense of the OP.
Many are being dismissive that a full pay student could have financial difficulties. It can happen, and not because the family is extravagant or living it up.
The situation OP describes where the student is responsible for 30% of the full COA, which includes Fed loans and job earnings. So, this student does not have other discretionary funds to go out and spend.
OP - this student should hang out with a different social group, who don’t go out and spend as often. There are ALL kinds of students in college, you just have to find your own group.
This family made the decision to go a ‘prestigious’ school and a little bit of sacrifice now is okay and there is nothing to feel sorry about. College will go by fast and he can spend when he starts earning more.
In what universe do kids with full financial need have all this spending cash? My D is in a fb group for questbridge kids and there is plenty of talk about how not to feel like an outsider because you’re poor and no talk at all about how to spend all the free money their (not) getting. Poor kids have work study as a part of their aid- they’re working too, and not rolling in cash at all. My D knows she’ll be eating on campus exclusively, for example, because her meal plan is covered by FA and she can’t afford to waste that generosity.
This subject gets discussed very often here. I think it would be better if it was like the race thread in that there was just one. For whatever reason, many people like to have the same discussions over and over. Presumably there is some reason people want to do that. Can’t be to win anyone over to their side because that never happens in this discussion. Maybe a good doctoral thesis subject. LOL
It’s human nature, most people like to discuss their problems or of others around them and hope to find ideas and solutions from others who faced similar situations.
What would you like the solution to be @Riversider?
Colleges don’t give students spending money. If the college gave them a free ride that means their parents don’t have much money. If the low income students have money to go out now and then, somebody is working (or borrowing) to get it. The difference between their parents and your wealthy friends is that after their kids graduate your friends will still be wealthy and can go back to buying nice clothes and paying for their kids to travel and go out with friends. The low income parents will still be poor.
After reading the whole thread, including all of OP’s responses, not sure why OP posted this. Student and parents knew what he was getting into and decided to spend 81K a year for an unnamed private college with which they are apparently quite happy b/c of the opportunities presented.
So I don’t understand why OP posted this; it was a choice, apparently agreed to by all three, before enrollment.
What % of students get 100% of need met by “the system”? If you really want to buy that lottery ticket, you can. Donate your assets quit your job. Live with relatives. Or find a cheap trailer in which to live. Go on the system. Work it so kid has EFC of 0, NPCs of zero. See if he gets his free ride, and have all that money roll in
That’s the trade off.
My son has a friend who had close to a full ride to college. It wasn’t easy for him or his parents. They rarely could visit him at school. The trip to airport was a financial crisis. He was always worried about some family money issue. His mother lost her job for a while when he was in college, and he was sending money to his parents. Only his mother came to graduation— father couldn’t take off and they couldn’t afford for siblings. Mother stayed in sons place.
I’m still trying to figure out what college costs 81K. The highest COAs I can find for next year, including travel, books and incidentals, are all under 80K, most well under that.
Using the high end of misc and waivable expenses, Amherst is one
https://www.amherst.edu/offices/financialaid/firstyear_transfer/costs_amherst/node/28612
Right, if being paid by the system is so awesome, why not avail yourself of it?
I do not get the bellyaching when you do not choose a path available to you.
And school choice certainly factors in to this. Nobody forced this family to choose this school.
Official COA is the maximum amount PLUS or other college loan service will lend because it’s what is covered by government as college loan.
University of Chicago is out and out showing $80k+
I believe the COA includes direct bill costs of the school which are Tuition, fees, room and board (average). Then added to that are average books and other estimated expenses .