My D wanted to go to study neuroscience but the least expensive school with neuroscience jacked the costs about $18,00 over the state college where she got full-tuition.
When I broke down the courses of the neuroscience major, I wasn’t really impressed. There are actually very few neuroscience specific courses at most colleges that offer a neuroscience major.
D did not have a real top choice so it was easier to choose full tuition at the school she didn’t really like to be able to graduate debt free. She’s in an honors program and has great opportunities.
After matriculating, she talked to a professor who does neuroscience research about changing her major to study more neuroscience topics and the school was starting a neuroscience minor, and he convinced her to stay in her current major because research is what matters and she will be able to do the research she wants regardless of her major.
@hedgehog77 First, it’s ok to grieve over your admissions cycle not ending up the way you had hoped. Many students find themselves in the position of having to attend a particular school for financial reasons. Last year my son and his friends went through the admissions process. They were the top of their class and many went onto colleges that would be considered prestigious or respected. One of his friends however had to attend the lowest ranked directional U in our state due to finances. You can imagine this was really hard on him as he watched his friends attend their dream schools (I know going to a private high school many of your peers will also be going to their dream schools). Fast forward to Thanksgiving Break, he was so excited about all of the opportunities that were available to him as a freshman. His professors quickly realized his potential and gave him a research position. He spent his Spring Break in Asia presenting research at a conference with his professor. So I know it feels awful to attend a school that you think is not a match for you, but it can work out. So take time to grieve and then resolve to make the best of your situation. As a top student at your school, you will have many opportunities that might not be available if you were at a college where you had to compete with many other students who would be qualified and interested in those opportunities. Take @momprof9904 advice and get to know the professors in your department. I know they will see your potential and will be happy to have a motivated student in their department.
Why did you apply to a college you hate?
Why do you hate it?
Do you just hate it because it is not as prestigious as others?
Do you hate it so much you would go 120K into debt?
How can you get yourself not to hate it?
Do you hate it so much that you could take a gap year to apply to a school where you could get a scholarship?
Do you hate it so much you would rather go to commuity college?
Because I knew I might get the full ride to have as a backup plan
I hate it because it is in the middle of nowhere, 2 hours to a city. (I’ve lived in a city my whole life and I can’t imagine being in the middle of nowhere for 4 years) The atmosphere made me sick when I visited. Everyone I talked to said, “oh, we don’t do much besides go to bars.” I also don’t want to be surrounded by people that I know.
No, I wouldn’t mind going to other state schools, mine is just badly located and is definitely not recognized anywhere for their science department
Honestly at this point, possibly, but I don’t want to do that.
I don’t know, I’ve been trying really hard, I can’t find any positives.
I can’t do a gap year or community college.
Yes, I would rather go to a community college, but I would have to live on my own so I wouldn’t have any money to transfer to a 4 year university after.
@hedgehog77 I hear your disappointment but you can bear anything for a couple of years if it is going to open doors for the rest of your life. You don’t need a huge group of friends, you need a few kids who are like you. My daughter will be attending a school known as a party school. She is absolutely not a party kid. She is a bright, studious somewhat nerdy kid. By reaching out on the school’s facebook group for admitted students, she has already found a few other kids like her and is feeling really positive about it all. Her school is quite small. I imagine yours is much larger which will make it even easier to find your people. You don’t have to wait until you get there to start networking. Find the schools facebook group. Introduce yourself. Make some friends.
OP"s complaint is “I got a full-ride, tuition room and board [scholarship] to an in-state party school”.
This means that you will most likely be grouped with the other academic scholarship award winners in the honors college.
Not sure, but my guess is that your family situation is really the source of your negative feelings. Once you go to college & escape from your current environment, your feelings may change.
How big is this in-state school? If it’s more than a couple thousand people, I guarantee that you’ll be able to find your people!
My DD isn’t a partier. I think she’s been to two all year but has a great group of like minded friends and has an active social life - she is active in theater so goes to a lot of student performances, comedy shows, music performances, lectures, sports, etc… In her opinion, there is “too much” to do because most weekends she has more than one thing she’d like to attend.
Big schools are like little cities unto themselves.
My advice would be to join a club to meet people which at least one similar interest. I think you’ll be surprised that you will find your tribe.
It also sounds to me like you’ll have the opportunity to really shine at this school. Take advantage of being the big fish!
If you name the school the CC community may be able to help you find things to love about it. Sorry you feel you are in a dilemma, but it seems you have two choices: attend free school, or not. Honestly though, I am always WAY more impressed to hear about kids who earn full rides than I am with admits to super select schools. In spite of how it seems on CC, full rides are RARE. Would your scholarship cover a semester abroad? Are there other perks that accompany your scholarship package?
Agree with Publisher that likely you are admitted to an honors college within the University and will be grouped with other honors kids, you may even have segregated dining. So reframe your thinking on that one.
But overall congrats on the resilience to get where you are by working during private HS. That must not have been easy surrounded by wealthy kids. So use that resilience and get through the next step. I think that once you are on your own you can also deal internally with some of the issues that your family instability has caused.
Don’t give up and keep thinking next level. Take the Free Ride. And make close connections with your professors who will love you.
@hedgehog77 Could you please check with your Full Ride school and ask if they HAVE an Honors College, and if so, are you automatically in it, or do you need to apply to Honors? The smaller Honors community within a larger university will give you more of a community of like-minded students.
Re: $120k student loans. You can only get this kind of money if your parents co-sign for you, which means that they will be responsible for your loan if you default. And it might not even be your fault if you default: you might not get a good paying job, or you might be let go during an economic downturn, or you might get sick. Are your parents even willing to do this?
Re: Starting off at a community college and then transferring. If you start at a community college and then transfer, what will your costs for years 3 and 4 be? And maybe a year 5 since all of your cc classes might not count, especially for whatever you want for your major. There are very FEW scholarships available for transfer students. This option might actually be the most costly, especially since you will have to pay for your own housing and food while you are at
cc.
Re: Atmosphere (drinking culture) and Middle of Nowhere. Even if you are at a huge party school, there will be kids who don’t party. Who cares what everyone else is doing? What matters is what you and your friends are doing.
And, if you are really digging into the academics and really seeking out as many opportunities as you can, you honestly won’t have much time to be doing things off campus.
Re: Science Department Recognition. I’m sure there are SOME good professors in the science department, and they would LOVE to have a student who wants to LEARN. Get to know those professors. There WILL be opportunities, and your school would love to sponsor you and promote you if you go in with a “can-do” attitude. I’m sure they would love to increase their recognition.
I understand you are in a disappointing situation right now, and it’s good to vent. For your sake, though, I sincerely hope that before school starts you will get to the place where you can change your mindset, and that you will go in there with an attitude of trying to squeeze every opportunity out of the place that you can. This can be a long 4 years of resentment for your life circumstance, or 4 years of working towards your career goals with a few good friends who think like you and profs who want to see you succeed. For as hard of a situation you are in with your parents, I think that you are very lucky that you have worked so hard in HS and been graced with your native intelligence, that you now have the opportunity to go to college for free. This is a life-altering gift. Be proud of yourself for what you accomplished and be grateful for the opportunity in front of you.
FWIW, I agree with the other posters that your GC isn’t doing you any favors. At some high schools the GC are unfortunately pushed to have the kids go to the best ranked school possible rather than the schools that are actually best for the kids. And your GC might be living in a bubble rather than the world that a lot of us have had to deal with.
Your statement above is very telling: You can’t find any positives. Here are a few–it’s free, you get to go to college, other kids will be in the same situation, you get to go to college, you will be able to pursue your goal of getting a degree, you get to go to college. We know you hate it. You seem to be ignoring the fact that it appears, unfortunately, that you have no money to go anywhere else. You will not be able to borrow that much money. You won’t or can’t take a gap year or go to a community college. So you’ve got it off your chest now, and it’s time to move forward and face facts.
You are probably out of options and have to attend the school you say you hate. (BTW, you’ve always lived in the city. That’s not a good reason to hate the school out in the country. And 2 hours is no time at all. What were you doing two hours ago?) So you need to turn this around for yourself. Go to the school with an open mind and find your people. They are there. It’s up to you to be proactive and make the most out of what you’ve been given. If you are asking yourself what that might be, I’ll sum it up in two words. Free. Degree.
It seems he /she will only complain about not wanted to go to said college and won’t give more detail. That is her /his right also. This is just a sideways conversation but I have to say the advice is stellar ??!, to everyone. The op can only help themselves. She /he is not willing to budge or to participate in the conversation. We live in Chicago (big city) and my daughter went to 2 small lacs with one with nothing to do. She studied and got on the honor roll and came home 2.5 hours on the train once in a while to go to theater shows and get her city vibe back with friends.
If she is not willing to meet with professors as has been suggested or willing to make this work then the alternatives are obvious and have been gone over and over.
Wondering if the OP can try to have some sessions with a social worker/mental health professional? It might be helpful for him/her to talk though their feelings about things, especially given the amount of family stress it sounds like there is. Good luck, OP - I predict you can turn things around.
Do sit down and have a talk with your parents as to what the financial situation is going to be like in the near future. There seems to be a divorce possibly pending. If things are up in the air with them, it really will be a big relief to you that your college costs are secure.
I agree that speaking with a mental health counselor is good. But this is also a reminder to parents to really try to do your best not to upheave a child’s life at the worst time. Or to think of ways to collaborate as a family so the fall out isn’t so drastic. I feel badly that this is being foisted on you at the worst time OP. Children suffer in a divorce and on the cusp of adulthood they suffer economic consequences as well… Wish you the best in your decision making.
Have you seen Hyundai’s these days? They’re pretty nice. But I share the sentiment about living in the country-uck! But it is for a limited time for a student. It’s your best bet. I’ve known people who thought they’d hate a school and ended up loving it. I’ve know students who were sure they’d love their school but ended up hating it. You never know. give free a chance. You’ll be going free while nearly everyone else will be paying. That’s really amazing.