<p>BUMP! 10char</p>
<p>I died on “I cook thirty minute brownies in twenty minutes”. I would use the second one. Both are excellent, regardless of which you choose. 2nd seems better and more appealing.</p>
<p>Bump… 10char</p>
<p>lol cook 30 minute brownies in 20 minutes.lol</p>
<p>Don’t you just have to turn up the heat like 100 degree on the oven?</p>
<p>lol</p>
<p>i just loved this part </p>
<p>You think we’re too expensive? Don’t be too sure. We’ve got surprises for you there, too.
You think I can pay for your school? Don’t be too sure. I’ve got surprises for you there, too.</p>
<p>Rofl OMG hilaRious</p>
<p>does anyone know if the admissions officers might see this as insulting/mocking them?</p>
<p>hahaha 30 minute brownies in 20 minutes. that was funny…
the 2nd reminds me of chuck norris.
edit:
@poster 16: the 2nd is definitely chuck norris.</p>
<p>the first one is funny.</p>
<p>lolololol I remember seeing the MIT one before 
i really wish i knew if they got in, haha! i dont think guy number one actually sent his as a college essay though…I mean, it was in response to one of those generic recruit letters :P</p>
<p>Haha! This was great!</p>
<p>Here’s my essay for UPenn this year. It’s a bit of a longshot and I had already done 100 essays, so i figured why not? The assignment is “Submit page 217 of your 300-page autobiography” and I based it on me being the Most Interesting Man in the World, from the Dos Equis commerials. Now that the deadline for apps has passed i feel reasonably safe posting it (knock on wood). By the way, please don’t give me any advice on changes or grammatical mistakes because i already sent it and there’s nothing I can do now</p>
<p>and as the screen faded in, I saw myself sitting at the table, surrounded by beautiful women. My graying beard and hair gave me a look of rugged handsomeness and great depth of character, the perfect combination for the commercial. I looked up from my drink: three parts Gordons, two of lychee liqueur, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet, Curacao, Sapphire gin, and extract of yohimbe bark, the ancient African aphrodisiac. I gave the camera a significant look, both disarming and intriguing. As I stared into the camera, a voiceover began. He stopped World War Three with nothing more than a gentle hand. He has only jumped the gun once
when the gun was late. He knows the answer to life, the universe, and everything
it is not 42. His silences are comfortable. He can see an event before it happens in reality. He is The Most Interesting Man in the World.
I savored the moment. I looked around at the beautiful women surrounding me, I stroked my beard, and I breathed a sigh of satisfaction as the next commercial came onto the screen, a pitiful showing after the genius of my own work. I have appeared in 165 movies and 427 commercials, yet each time is as refreshing as the first. After the movie was over, I left the theater alone in my Lamborghini Murcielago, a car which I had won from the Sempoerna family, the sixth richest family in Indonesia, in a race to the top of the Tangkuban Parahu Mountain in Bandung. When I pulled into the white stone driveway of my villa on the coast of Spain, I appreciated the ocean air for a moment before I went inside. There was a hint of perfume coming from my bedroom, a rich scent which I would later have to investigate.
I entered my house through an unlocked glass door; I always encourage danger. When I stepped across the threshold, I saw no peril. Pity I would have to find some myself. I poured myself a drink, a simple Louis XIII Cognac, and I walked out to the balcony to enjoy it with a His Majestys Reserve cigar. Then, I saw something in my peripheral vision. There was a young child, a boy of perhaps six, being carried away by the ocean. He was about half a mile out from shore. It was time for a swim
.Ten minutes later I was back on my balcony; my cigar was not quite burnt out, a fresh narwhale tusk was mounted above my fireplace, a souvenir from a less than amicable encounter.
I changed into my pajamas, another tailored Armani suit; one must always be ready to spring into action. I sat on my bed as I lay my Patek-Phillipe on the bedside table. I do not have an alarm clock; I wake up when the rotation of the world tells me it is time. I slipped under the silk blanket, a present from a rich sheikh on the day I married his nine daughters, who were women of famed beauty. I lay on my back because it is the best position to be in if attacked. My eyes remain open while I sleep so that my enemies know that I am always watching them, and open eyes still detect movement, so they alert me to impending danger.
When I woke up the following morning, I walked into the bathroom and shaved off the six inches of beard growth that had accumulated over the night with a pair of shears I keep in my medicine chest, expertly flicking the hairs into a garbage bin designated for that exact purpose. When I had finished, I walked downstairs to the kitchen, where Raphael had prepared my breakfast on my antique Ming dynasty porcelain china: four pounds of bacon, an ostrich egg omelet, one loaf of toasted French bread, two quarts of freshly-squeezed orange juice and a small coffee. After my third helping I gathered up the dishes and I smashed them; I never use them more than once. Raphael is an interesting story, a boy who pledged his life to me after I rescued him from the clutches of the Mara, a particularly unsavory gang of bandits who run a racket of</p>
<p>Kamikazewave…
I was put-off by your essay. Especially the nail-raking across s a girl’s face part. Eek! </p>
<p>And hahahahah I loooove the first and second essays! Both so funny :D</p>
<p>This kind of stuff only intensifies my tension more because I know I can’t write a funny essay like this</p>
<p>^ So true >:[</p>
<p>But they were funny :D</p>
<p>This was for Penn, the page 217 of 300 word essay. The numbers are footnotes, yes, footnotes. </p>
<pre><code> Chapter 21- Writer’s Block and Winter Fun
That blinking rectangle of potential brilliance and the white space of Microsoft Word can keep you captivated for only so long before you want to search though your closet, find your award-winning catapult from 8th grade Science Fair, and chuck your obstinate computer clear out your bedroom window. Villainous college admission essay, thy ambiguity will be the death of me.
It’s truly amazing, the elaborate traps set by admission officers, the endless stream of possible topics, and, most importantly, the enormity of this single essay. University of Pennsylvania(1) is testing me, a full-page fill-in-the-blank-question. The worst part is that I’m a mediocre test taker. Still, as I sit gazing into the cold, heartless computer screen, I know I have to find a topic that will dazzle.
Colleges, as I know too well, give optional supplemental essays to not only discover the magnitude of an applicant’s interest, but to measure his writing ability, his ethical values, his creativity, his personality type, even his soul, or so goes the rumor. I mentally scream. As I desperately sort though the scribbled potential-topics, I wonder, maybe I can talk about VA Boys State? I remember those of Henry City who fell at the mercy of Hakim Sutton(2) and broke down with laughter at his reading aloud of my private letter, which contained plans from a Girls State friend of an oh-so risqu
</code></pre>
<p>eagle!!!</p>
<p>The John Mongan one actually isn’t a college essay; he mailed that response back to them.
he went to stanford though o-o</p>
<p>My AP English teacher read us the second essay back at the beginning of the year and I loved it… I’m glad to have found it again, haha. But the first essay might be even better :)</p>
<p>I’m too lazy to go find where I saved all of my application essays. But I remember the last few lines of one of my Caltech essays:</p>
<hr>
<p>Λ
< >
vv</p>
<h2>Look it’s Patrick!</h2>
<p>I got in :D</p>
<p>Ahahaha AMAZING</p>
<p>Kamikazewave, that essay kind of harshed my buzz. No. Just no.</p>
<p>I read the second one before. That person went to NYU in the end. :)</p>
<p>The first one was funny, but it could be risky. It’s either mocking the school or showing his/her sense of humor.</p>