<p>Anyone watch it around here? Post ur fav quotes or things</p>
<p>Bryant Gumbel: Pursesnatching. Society's fault or one man's cry for help?
Purse Snatcher: What the hell are you talking about!?! I wanted her freaking money!
Bryant Gumbel: Hmmm. Hmmm. Mhmmm. Hmm. Hmm. Mhmmm. Mhmmm. Hmm (he does this about 27 times, LOL)
Purse Snatcher: What the hells wrong with him?!?</p>
<p>LoL! That one is classic and from "If I"m Dyin' I'm Lyin'"</p>
<p>a few of my favorites:</p>
<p>Peter: Nope. No way. A guy i knew bought a car out of the paper one time. 10 years later, bam. Herpes.</p>
<p>Peter: Just don't forget our deal, Lois. I sit through this and later tonight I get anal. You hear me? No matter how neat I want the house you have to clean it. </p>
<p>[Quagmire sees a cheerleader tied up in a bathroom stall]
Quagmire: Dear diary: Jackpot. </p>
<p>Vacuum repairman: There you go, all fixed. Turns out a half-eaten meatball was clogging up the intake.
Peter: Oh.... Well, did you save it?
Vacuum repairman: Uh, no.
Peter: You bastard. </p>
<p>Quagmire: Hello, 911? It's Quagmire. Yeah, it's caught in the window this time.</p>
<p>Stewie: I sometimes wonder if all women are this difficult. And then I think to myself, 'My God! Wouldn't it be marvelous if I turned out to be a homosexual?</p>
<p>Meg: What is Brian doing? He's...He's...
Peter: No, no. He is just awkwardly positioning himself...ah, now he is violating Seabreeze.</p>
<p>Stewie: A hit on Lois!? I don't know who to thank! God of course...and uh...umm..oh this is all so sudden...<em>slips out a piece of paper</em>...ah yes! satan.</p>
<p>Quagmire: How old are you?
Girl: 16
Quagmire: 18. You're first.
Girl: Mom!!
Quagmire: I like where this is going...Giggity, giggity gig-a-ty</p>
<p>Lois: I won't be a sideshow attraction anymore!
(flashback to her in a cage, jumping up and down, saying...) Me likey bouncy! Me likey bouncy!</p>
<p>Peter: oh my god brian! There's a message in my alphabits!
Peter: It says "Oooooo."</p>
<p>Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.</p>
<p>Hehe, I can't stop laughing at this one:</p>
<p>Tom Tucker: Because of an accident today at the Quahog cable company, all television transmission will be out for an undetermined amount of time. Of course, no one can see this news program, so it doesn't really matter what we say. I'm the lord Jesus Christ. I think I'll go get drunk and beat up some midgets, how about you, Diane?
Diane Simmons: Well, Tom, I just plain don't like black people.</p>
<p>This one too:</p>
<p>Peter: Ok, here's another riddle. A woman has two children. A homicidal murderer tells her she can only keep one. Which one does she let him kill?
Brian: That's... that's not a riddle. That's ... that's just terrible.
Peter: Wrong, the ugly one!</p>
<p>My favorite one is politically incorrect but oh well.</p>
<p>Peter <a href="playing%20basketball%20with%20Chris">i</a>*: "I'm the white Larry Bird!"</p>
<p>Also, the time Peter imagines himself in Australia. He's poking a crocodile with a stick and says, "C'mon Mr. Crocodile, wake up, wake up, wake up!" and then a koala randomly flies out of nowhere and attaches itself to his head...</p>
<p>Peter: Gay people don't vomit. They've always been a clean people. Ever since they came to this country from France.</p>
<p>And everything in the episode where they move down to the deep south with the racoon.
"Must be some sort of nature channel." <em>Racoon flies out</em>
<em>Lois is unbutonning her shirt</em> <em>Racoon flies out</em>
<em>Peter looks to see what's wrong with his gun</em> <em>Racoon flies out</em></p>
<p>Stewie: <em>talking to death</em> "....ooh, what's your e-mail address? Mine is loismustdie, all one word,@yahoo.com"</p>
<p>nice picks y'all! hehe</p>
<p>Cleveland: Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. When is it gonna be my turn? Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow</p>
<p>Quagmire: Hey Meg. 18 yet?
Meg: No.
Quagmire: Hey Chris, how's it goin?
Chris: well its...
Quagmire: All right.</p>
<p>Death and a girl named "sandy" in a car, car is moving up and down, u know what that means</p>
<p>Death: Oh Sandy! Oh Sandy! Ohhhh.
*car stops vibrating </p>
<p>Sandy? Awwwww not again! I'm gonna be a virgin forever! Or am I? </p>
<p>*car starts to move up and down again</p>
<p>I love all the scenes with death!</p>
<p>Peter: First I tried an art class
<em>at an art class, painting a naked man</em>
Peter: Am I? Am I supposed to draw the *<strong><em>?
Peter: Then I tried sculpture
*at a sculpture class, sculpting a naked man</em>
Peter: Am I? Am I supposed to sculpt the *</strong><em>?
Peter: Then I tried music
at an orchestra, conducting</em>
Peter: Am I? Am I supposed to conduct with my *<strong><em>?
.......................................
Peter: Lois, my </em></strong> belongs on stage!</p>
<p>(The stars signify a male body part starting with the letters p-e-n)</p>
<p>Lois: Oh No!
Brian: Oh No!
Chris: Oh No!
Meg: Oh No!</p>
<p>*Kool aid man bursts through wall
Kool aid man: Ohhh Yeah!</p>
<p>Security Guard: Your not a shoplifter. Your just a fat kid! Sorry about that, fatty fat fatty. Hey Tom, he's just a fat kid. Aren't you fatty? You're just a big ol fat kid. Here's some chocolate fatso.</p>
<p>*Brian comes home with crack whore... er should i say "cocaine whore"</p>
<p>Brian: Everybody this is Tina.
Meg: What happened to you?
Brian: Hey, how about a little less questions and a little more shut the hell up!</p>
<p>its finally coming back after so long, and a new spin off type show is alos coming back, american dad, anyway here are mine
Peter: Lois, I'm gonna grow a beard.
Lois: Peter, you know I hate beards ...
Peter: No no Lois, it's time I joined the ranks of great men with beards. Why do you think Jesus Christ was so popular? Cause ... cause of all the magic tricks?</p>
<p>Meg: I just want to kill myself I'm gonna go upstairs and eat a whole bowl of peanuts.
(Lois and Peter stare in silence)
Meg: I'm alergic to peanuts.
(Peter and Lois keep staring)
Meg: You dont know anything about me. (runs upstairs)
Peter: Who was that guy? </p>
<p>Auctioner: Our first item is a pair of panties confiscated from a prostitute.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks.
Auctioner: She had nine STDs.
Quagmire: Forty-five bucks.
Auctioner: And when we caught her she wet herself.
Quagmire: Fifty bucks. </p>
<p>Stewie: I was under the impression the name of the show was "Kids Say the Darndest Things," not "Old Black Comedians Never Shut the Hell Up." </p>
<p>lol, great show i did miss it but downloaded many of the episodes to relive the memories, and i also have cartoon network</p>
<p>^ lol i love this thread.... so funny :D :D :D</p>
<p>Pool Guy: Sir your going to have to move your van off the diving board
Lois: That's no van, that's my son!
Pool Guy:Oh wait its just a fat kid, hey Tom its just a fat kid
<em>Later</em>
Peter: Stay here, I'll be back
<em>puts a club on Chris</em></p>
<p>^lol that's a great episode</p>
<p>*Inside some office</p>
<p>Chris: So is this where babies come from?
Brian: <em>Sarcastically</em> Yes Chris, this is were babies come from.
Chris: <em>twinges a little and then screams at Lois</em> You told me I came out of your vagina!</p>
<p>Peter: oh my god brian! There's a message in my alphabits!
Peter: It says "Oooooo."</p>
<p>Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.</p>
<p>^^ i think these are my favourite ones <em>^^</em></p>
<p>my two favorite characters on the show have to be glen quagmire and tom Tuckers son-the guy with the upside down head- yesterdays episode was where Peter go to direct his own make of the King and I, he screwed up the real play a whole lot lol</p>
<p>meh, i really disliked that episode</p>
<p>In my opinion though, Brian is the funniest, followed by Stewie, than Peter.</p>
<p>Meg's ONLY funny line</p>
<p>*on discovering her family is not at the house.
Your Tom Arnold. And your Fran Drescher. And your... that fat guy from Boogie Nights.</p>