Happy Decision Day, all. I thought that since my D’s decision is to take one more year to prepare, improve, form a better list-I would start a thread for any students/parents who are doing the same. I would be grateful to lean on, learn from, vent to, share resources with, etc. Anyone?
@owensfolks I just want to wish your D the best during her upcoming growth year and share with you that one of the young ladies who worked with MTCA this year was auditioning after a gap year and did very well with multiple acceptances to great programs. She is definitely an example of a gap year success story as I’m sure your daughter will be as well. I am sure it is a bit scary for her and for you, but she has such a great action plan in place and I will be excited to hear about her journey. Please keep sharing with us!
Thank you, @sopranomtmom , you are so kind. D is doing GREAT-not at all questioning her decision. I am freaking out a bit; and quite honestly, feeling a bit “lonely”, as her friends and their parents are making last minute changes, due to waitlist movement. Today we were texting. I asked, “Are you the only one in your class taking a gap year?” Her response: “YUP”.
@owensfolks I also wish her the very best! I get the feeling your daughter has a leg up on some as far as really knowing what she needs for her own growth. She sounds like a great girl!
While my MT S had a successful college application/audition run (a rising senior), my two older Ss - a writer/musician and visual artist/musician - have different stories to tell.
Eldest, now almost 27, changed majors, had to repeat some classes, lost his scholarship and ended up taking a leave for a semester for mental health reasons - finally graduating after five-ish years. He now says he wishes he had taken a gap year, that he had no idea what college was about and how to make relevant decisions at the age. He accrued student debt (fortunately, only what federal loans would allow each year) and continues to struggle with direction and finances. He’s finally in a happier, more positive place, but the hit on his self-esteem from those years of not being in the “right” place has taken some doing to overcome.
Middle S, went to visual art school with hefty scholarship, but his lack of “student-like behavior” in HS continued into college. With some fits and starts, and mental health issues, he finally dropped out after about three years of “class time” (a generous description of time spent) that resulted in about 1.5 years worth of credits and significant student loan debt. He is now focused on being in a rock band - talk about “pay to play”!! - and learning the trade of screen printing t-shirts (bands ALWAYS need more t-shirts). Personal choices and accrued debt have made living the rock n’ roll life harder than it needs to be, but he seems to finally be finding his way.
I don’t share this as a “doom and gloom” story, but as a “what-could-be-a-possible-consequence” outcome for artistic kids that get swept up in the “gotta go to college” mentality and end up in the wrong place at the wrong time. @owensfolks - I think it’s awesome that your D knows she wants things to be different and has the guts to stick to her guns. She’s gonna be fine. You’ll eventually be fine, too. We as parents have to let our “adult” children navigate their own path - often the hardest part of this whole thing.
Thank you, @Onourown . She really does have a great head on her shoulders-I think that’s part of why we never saw this coming. Emotionally/maturity-wise, she could have left for college (and she kind of did, having boarded for a year) last August. @mom4bwayboy our only other kid; S, 13 mos older than D, is taking the long and winding road to what he wants to be when he grows up. I think that his journey definitely influenced D’s steadfast decision. And I absolutely agree: It’s THEIR path.
Hello! I’m here with you. My D is about to graduate HS, but had some health bumps in the road and decided that it would be better to take a year off, work, and perform as much as possible. The thinking is to be able to research programs and audition without the stress of missing classes and trying to keep up grades as well. I think it is a good plan. It will be good to have final GPA so that we have an idea of what sort of merit scholarships to expect and not have to guess. Since we will probably be looking at mostly state schools that offer OOS tuition waivers/scholarships based on GPA and SAT (as well as a few private schools that seem to be generous with aid) my job will be to present an array of options that we could possibly afford, then turn it over to her to research and pick how many and where to audition. She has just started a pt job, and has done well at getting cast in our local community theatre shows so I hope she will be busy and productive. We shall see!
I feel you, @mom4bwayboy. My oldest S (now 28) went to a top BFA program immediately after high school, very certain he wanted to be an actor. The first year was a disaster in many ways - part was what in retrospect was a very bad fit, part was his inability to navigate college, part were health issues. He transferred out of the acting program and into the ‘regular’ school, then ended up taking a medical leave of absence in the middle of his second year - not getting any credit for these classes, and accruing debt as he had to pull out mid-semester and thus he lost his federal loans for that semester. Btw, I do feel the college badly mishandled several things that year, but I was a mess and not able to really able talk to the college. If it does happen that your child spirals while in college, please remember a) you’re not alone by any means and b) the college can help but sometimes it takes reaching the right person. Don’t give up! After several years of recovering, community college, work, my S returned to a liberal arts college and hopefully will be graduating in a few weeks, planning to go to med school in a year or two. 
My next three children were very impacted by this, and all 3 elected to do a gap year. I’ve written at some length about their experience in earlier threads (this topic has been covered before!).
My older D went to Williams, majoring in art, and is now doing post-grad work in Italy. Gap year: Children’s librarian, travel with her own money to England on an archaeological dig, art work.
My second D went to Northwestern for acting. Gap year: two semi-pro shows, one community college class, acting classes, audition prep, diner hostess.
My younger S went to LAMDA for acting. Gap year: had been homeschooled, professional actor.
And my youngest is deciding to go straight to college (!).
My second D especially repeatedly said how glad she was she took a gap year. She definitely felt more mature and better able to multi-task. Several of her friends actually wished out loud they had done this too. Btw, one worry some people have is that the student will be older than their classmates. This hasn’t been a problem for any of my kids except probably my older D, who did feel more mature than her clasmates at the time. Still she went to Williams and graduated in 4 years
But the main thing as you can see is that it didn’t harm their chances at all. As I’ve written in other threads, the only thing I’d say that’s important is that they are on board and don’t view it as a consolation prize. It can be hard because at least in our case, people were very judgmental and outright said they were ‘college dropouts.’ Also it can be hard watching all your friends in college and you are at home. But if you know it’s a good thing for you, that’s what you should focus on.
@connections - so glad your eldest S came through the other side. It’s great that the younger ones took some time to grow and add skills/experiences to their lives before heading off to college. College at 18 is not for everyone…
@catznpigz YAY, I am so happy to have a Gap/Growth Year friend. I will pm you-we certainly don’t have the full picture-but we do know of many schools who grant out of state tuition waivers, generous aid, etc. I would love to know which state you live in, and any hidden gems that you find as well!
D graduated last Saturday, and hit the ground running: She is working out every day; has danced at her old dance studio; done self-led vocal training, researched next year’s school list, made contact with a new (stellar) voice teacher, Skyped with her new coach, etc. Looking forward to new headshots, a Summer MT Intensive, auditioning for community theatre, and so much more. So far, so good.
@owensfolks Congratulations! She is ready to roll!
I’m in! I don’t know if its junior year burnout with exams just ahead of him, but my S has asked “do I have to go to college?” I think the audition process combined with Sr. year is feeling overwhelming. Plus, as parents, we made a large mistake taking out retirement money in 2016, which will bite us in the butt on the FAFSA in Oct. The hard part is we have a girl that would be headed off to college the same year if S takes a gap year. At least she will not have auditions, but it will mean visiting schools where they are accepted will be a juggle. I don’t know if the gap year idea will stick, but I’m liking it more each day.
Growth Year update: All in all, D is doing well-and is very happy. She is continuing her Meisner training at home, daily. I would say that her college list is at about 85-90%: Some overlap from last year-but the benefit of another year of research and experience is that she has discovered quite a few programs that weren’t on her radar last year. She is thrilled with her new voice teacher. She has a new look: 14" (yes, really) chopped off her hair-so new headshots are in order. She auditioned for her very first community theatre production (Shakespeare), and has earned a lead role. Off to a musical theatre intensive in a couple weeks.
Some opportunities-she hasn’t found a part time job yet. I feel confident that she will have no problem when the other local kids are headed back to college, and she can sell the fact that she’s staying put. She doesn’t feel like she’s dancing enough. And the social aspect-it IS indeed difficult, when all of one’s friends are heading to orientation, communicating with their roommates, and mapping out their schedules, to be the odd man out.
Still…this was the right thing to do for MY D, and our family: Fiscally, rationally.
I must be honest-I myself sometimes feel lonely-as these boards are kind of quiet during the Summer…Class of 2021 folks too busy (and not much to contribute, at the moment); Class of 2022 folks JUST getting started;…
I am sending all of my positive vibes to the rising Freshmen…wishing you great dining hall food, awesome roommmates, stellar weather, brilliant professors, healthy vocal chords, and happy feet (and knees, and ankles…)
And to The Class of 22: Get those essays started, reach out to the best people for recommendations, Do NOT SLACK, think about what kind of program that you see yourself at,…and BREAK LEGS!!!
3+ months since the last update? Perhaps it underscores how quickly the year passes, once one’s kid is going through this college application, prescreen, audition process. I have received so much amazing advice on CC. I truly hope that D’s experience may help a future student, when a gap year becomes a viable option. This year we hired a National Coach. I really feel that they have provided great advice, re song and monologue selection, school list, etc.
This Summer D attended FSU’s Musical Theatre Intensive. Great experience. The faculty helped her with some awesome rep, and she enjoyed her three weeks with awesomely talented, like-minded cohorts. Once home, rehearsals for a community theatre production of Romeo & Juliet began. She is playing Juliet-and today is opening day It has been fun and challenging for her, and a great opportunity to make new friends at home, as most of her local friends headed off to college in August. She takes weekly stage combat and voice lessons. Wish we knew about (and made time for) this stellar local voice teacher when D was in high school!
A few weeks ago on a whim, D submitted a video prescreen to be the National Anthem singer for the local NHL team. She has never sung the National Anthem…but she’s a hockey fan, so she went for it! Well, she is a finalist. Last night she sang at the final pre-season game. Very proud, as she is a singer AFTER she is an actress and dancer.
Speaking of dancing,…D needs to get back in the dance studio. She filmed her dance prescreens last weekend, and was discouraged that she simply is not where she was a year ago. Now that Romeo & Juliet rehearsals are over, dance will be the priority.
Just booked flight, car hotel for her first audition: Belmont, at the end of October. Most days I CANNOT believe that we are doing this process over-but we truly do believe that this year she will find a program that fits!
I am very grateful for this community-to learn about programs we had never heard of; to hear about kids all over the country who are happily working their butts off at their programs, to learn about the impending steps, like Summer Stock (eek), etc! No matter what stage you and your artist(s) are at-wishing you all a healthy, happy, stellar '17/'18!
We are in our gap year. Over the summer DD picked up a full tuition and housing scholarship. This took all the pressure off and she has been periodically applying to schools where she will need hefty merit to make it possible but she’s negotiating.
Last year she thought she wanted to go into astrophysics and this year, secondary education.
She just returned from a month of solo travel to New York City. Oh my, what an amazing experience. Her maturity level jumped substantially.
Her friends are all off to school, this is proving to be difficult but she’s working part time and keeping busy. Now planning another solo trip to DC in the spring.
@owensfolks Hello! I am a current senior who has decided to take a gap year and was curious as to what intensive your daughter did. I am looking into doing one this summer, however many of them say they are for high school students or rising seniors. Did your daughter find that she was still eligible because she was not going to college? I saw that she attended FSU’s, but were there others where she could have gone? Thanks, and I would love any more advice you had about a gap year
@MThopeful99 - look into The Performing Arts Project, they do not limit to HS students. My D did the summer after HS graduation. (Although she did not take a gap year)
@MThopeful99 - Open Jar Institute in NYC does workshops for high school and college age. I don’t think they care if you are taking a gap year. It is a program you need to audition for either via video or in person. My son did the high school session, and we would recommend it. http://www.openjarinstitute.com/summer-institute/
@MThopeful99 BAA also allows post high school