<p>Hi,
I really have some serious questions.
This is my story. I was top 10% in High school, enrolled NHS, highest honors, president, vice-president of community school clubs, all kinds of clubs, intern at hospital, volunteerings, jobs, sports all etcs.
These activities plus really good essay got me into Purdue University with 4 year full tuition. My major is Food Science.</p>
<p>However, whatever it sounds like an excuse, I had serious depression. I made a suicidal attempt. I got into hospital, got out, refused to do counseling and now here I am.
My first semester during that time. I failed my major with grade F. others with Bio, chem, math with grade Cs and other easy introductory classes with As and Bs. Result = GPA of 1.9.</p>
<p>wow... that really hit me so hard. I was SO UPSET with myself. this actually lead me to motivate me but also depressed me more about how stupid I was.</p>
<p>so second semester , i am retaking chem and math. i currently have a. bio next level with c. and sociology with a.</p>
<p>my question is . i really want to take a gap year. i want to stop this because i am still depressed. i have no motivation.
I want to change my major into public health.and this means that if i change my major, my scholarship wont apply and also means that i have to have minmum of 3.0 to have scholarship in anyway. even if i get all a this semester, i wont make it to 3.0. </p>
<p>I am so screwed. i feel so STUPID. RETARD. Failure. i really have no idea what to do. I wish i can erase all my records and restart as high school student. What should I do ? any recommendation?</p>
<p>public health i want is more liberal art than science/math. I realize i really hate sciecnes. i dont want to do them for rest 3 years of my life or my career. I want to do what I love, not to make money. but i wasted so much time on doing nothing that I got into gpa of 1.9. It is my fault. all my fault. I am so lost. Talking to my conselor? Nope, not working.</p>
<p>please someone help me.</p>